Revenge
Viewing comments for Chapter 29 "Revenge - Chap 29"Evil stalks the dynamic crime team
19 total reviews
Comment from Sandra Stoner-Mitchell
Now there's a woman on a mission, and no one is going to stop her. I think her idea will do the trick, and she's right, Garth didn't raise many objections when she went under-cover in prison. Now she has to do this to save her sister. On to the next part! :)) Sandra xx
reply by the author on 16-Dec-2021
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Now there's a woman on a mission, and no one is going to stop her. I think her idea will do the trick, and she's right, Garth didn't raise many objections when she went under-cover in prison. Now she has to do this to save her sister. On to the next part! :)) Sandra xx
Comment Written 12-Dec-2021
reply by the author on 16-Dec-2021
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I can relate to Allie but often it backfires, but you can't tell us that ahead of time. Hugs, Carol
Comment from Ulla
Hi Carol, this was a dramatic chapter and as usual it's very well written. I will admit that I have difficulty to keeping up as you post so much, but I have to review many other writers. I'm only on here in the evenings for a few hours, my life being too full with other things. Ulla:)))
reply by the author on 16-Dec-2021
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Hi Carol, this was a dramatic chapter and as usual it's very well written. I will admit that I have difficulty to keeping up as you post so much, but I have to review many other writers. I'm only on here in the evenings for a few hours, my life being too full with other things. Ulla:)))
Comment Written 08-Dec-2021
reply by the author on 16-Dec-2021
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It appears I will never catch up on these reviews, but I am trying. As always, I am grateful for your support and encouragement. Thank you!
Hugs, Carol
Comment from Mary Kay Bonfante
Things are really heating up! "Hell hath no wrath ..." You sure packed some high drama into this chapter!
Some suggested revisions:
Do we take her at your word?'
-->
"Do we take her at her word?"
OR
"Do we take you at your word?"
"Allie, We've spent time with Samantha.
-->
"Allie, we've spent time with Samantha.
" What aren't you telling us?
-->
"What aren't you telling us?
... but I think it is an actress named Tiffany. who they tricked into playing the part of your sister."
-->
... but I think it is an actress named Tiffany, who they tricked into playing the part of your sister."
Your entire team could stake out the place out."
-->
Your entire team could stake the place out."
... her eyes pleading with Allie to see she was trying to help, not hinder her sister's rescue."
-->
... her eyes pleading with Allie to see she was trying to help, not hinder her sister's rescue.
"I'll do anything to save my sister even if I have to be this creep's bait."
-->
"I'll do anything to save my sister, even if I have to be this creep's bait."
***
I hope Allie comes to trust Sam, eventually, and that her impulsive actions won't do too much damage.
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Things are really heating up! "Hell hath no wrath ..." You sure packed some high drama into this chapter!
Some suggested revisions:
Do we take her at your word?'
-->
"Do we take her at her word?"
OR
"Do we take you at your word?"
"Allie, We've spent time with Samantha.
-->
"Allie, we've spent time with Samantha.
" What aren't you telling us?
-->
"What aren't you telling us?
... but I think it is an actress named Tiffany. who they tricked into playing the part of your sister."
-->
... but I think it is an actress named Tiffany, who they tricked into playing the part of your sister."
Your entire team could stake out the place out."
-->
Your entire team could stake the place out."
... her eyes pleading with Allie to see she was trying to help, not hinder her sister's rescue."
-->
... her eyes pleading with Allie to see she was trying to help, not hinder her sister's rescue.
"I'll do anything to save my sister even if I have to be this creep's bait."
-->
"I'll do anything to save my sister, even if I have to be this creep's bait."
***
I hope Allie comes to trust Sam, eventually, and that her impulsive actions won't do too much damage.
Comment Written 02-Dec-2021
Comment from Carol Clark2
This is certainly an emotion-packed chapter. Poor Allie is likely putting the whole team in danger. Looking forward to learning how this all plays out.
Blessings. Carol
reply by the author on 05-Dec-2021
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This is certainly an emotion-packed chapter. Poor Allie is likely putting the whole team in danger. Looking forward to learning how this all plays out.
Blessings. Carol
Comment Written 02-Dec-2021
reply by the author on 05-Dec-2021
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Allie will probably regret her explosion and instant reactions. Hopefully Garth will make her come to her senses before she endangers the team and their lives.
Hugs, Carol
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I love how you interact with your reviewers, knowing full well where this story is going. Hugs!
Comment from LJbutterfly
This episode was a shocker for me. Allie, without any lead-up warning, springs into action, acting like a spoiled brat teenager. Before she even hears what Samantha knows, or hears the group's plan, she has a temper tantrum. This presents an unexpected challenge for Garth, and leaves me not having any idea about what might happen. I'm glad I don't have to figure it out. lol
reply by the author on 05-Dec-2021
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This episode was a shocker for me. Allie, without any lead-up warning, springs into action, acting like a spoiled brat teenager. Before she even hears what Samantha knows, or hears the group's plan, she has a temper tantrum. This presents an unexpected challenge for Garth, and leaves me not having any idea about what might happen. I'm glad I don't have to figure it out. lol
Comment Written 01-Dec-2021
reply by the author on 05-Dec-2021
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Thank you for reading, commenting with a review, and for enjoying my story. I appreciate your time and thoughts. Have a great day!
Hugs, Carol
Comment from lyenochka
Well, that Allie is a fireball and she's not doing herself any favors. As dedicated as she is to her sister, she's not considering how her actions would endanger anyone else. It's too bad she's so emotional when everyone needs to keep a cool head. But I'm sure you'll make it work out.
reply by the author on 05-Dec-2021
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Well, that Allie is a fireball and she's not doing herself any favors. As dedicated as she is to her sister, she's not considering how her actions would endanger anyone else. It's too bad she's so emotional when everyone needs to keep a cool head. But I'm sure you'll make it work out.
Comment Written 01-Dec-2021
reply by the author on 05-Dec-2021
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Thank you for reading, commenting with a review, and for enjoying my story. I appreciate your time and thoughts. Have a great day!
Hugs, Carol
Comment from Wendy G
Well, Allie is a quite an impetuous young woman, quick to act without necessarily thinking everything through beforehand. What will be the ramifications of this act? A very dramatic and intriguing chapter!
Wendy
reply by the author on 05-Dec-2021
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Well, Allie is a quite an impetuous young woman, quick to act without necessarily thinking everything through beforehand. What will be the ramifications of this act? A very dramatic and intriguing chapter!
Wendy
Comment Written 30-Nov-2021
reply by the author on 05-Dec-2021
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Thank you for reading, commenting with a review, and for enjoying my story. I appreciate your time and thoughts. Have a great day!
Hugs, Carol
Comment from robyn corum
Carol,
Great job, again. So tense and scary.
More notes:
1.) before turning back to Garth. Do we take her at your word?'
--> the punctuation is off here - need an opening quote mark, I think. But is this actual speech? if so, needs double quote marks, right?
2.) her eyes pleading with Allie to see she was trying to help, not hinder her sister's rescue."
Thanks and moving on-
--> remove quote marks at the end
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Carol,
Great job, again. So tense and scary.
More notes:
1.) before turning back to Garth. Do we take her at your word?'
--> the punctuation is off here - need an opening quote mark, I think. But is this actual speech? if so, needs double quote marks, right?
2.) her eyes pleading with Allie to see she was trying to help, not hinder her sister's rescue."
Thanks and moving on-
--> remove quote marks at the end
Comment Written 30-Nov-2021
Comment from royowen
It looks like Allie has set herself up for bait, to catch a fish, and hopefully he will make a mistake and jump out of the water. I love this episode Carol, such drama woven into the narrative. Allie seems to be jumping out of the frying pan into the water. This is a great episode My friend, blessings Roy
reply by the author on 05-Dec-2021
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It looks like Allie has set herself up for bait, to catch a fish, and hopefully he will make a mistake and jump out of the water. I love this episode Carol, such drama woven into the narrative. Allie seems to be jumping out of the frying pan into the water. This is a great episode My friend, blessings Roy
Comment Written 30-Nov-2021
reply by the author on 05-Dec-2021
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Thank you for reading, commenting with a review, and for enjoying my story. I appreciate your time and thoughts. Have a great day!
Hugs, Carol
Comment from Elizabeth Emerald
Brilliant set-up--can't wait to see how it plays! Well done!.
The mood of Allie's eyes shifted from frightened to [a glare=>sugg: GLARING] as she studied Samantha's face before turning back to Garth.
Do we take her at your word?' =>"Do we take her at your word?"
"It's a trendy place to meet [high classed=>HIGH-CLASS] women, especially in the bar. At our next meeting COMMA orchestrated in his home, I teased James with the thought of joining forces."
We're a team. Either you are with us--all of us[,=>matching long dash] or you're not.
I think it is an actress named Tiffany[.=>COMMA] who they tricked into playing the part of your sister."
"Are you crazy? I am not putting your life in danger at the hands of this maniac. We've already seen what he's capable of doing[?=>PERIOD]"
reply by the author on 05-Dec-2021
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Brilliant set-up--can't wait to see how it plays! Well done!.
The mood of Allie's eyes shifted from frightened to [a glare=>sugg: GLARING] as she studied Samantha's face before turning back to Garth.
Do we take her at your word?' =>"Do we take her at your word?"
"It's a trendy place to meet [high classed=>HIGH-CLASS] women, especially in the bar. At our next meeting COMMA orchestrated in his home, I teased James with the thought of joining forces."
We're a team. Either you are with us--all of us[,=>matching long dash] or you're not.
I think it is an actress named Tiffany[.=>COMMA] who they tricked into playing the part of your sister."
"Are you crazy? I am not putting your life in danger at the hands of this maniac. We've already seen what he's capable of doing[?=>PERIOD]"
Comment Written 30-Nov-2021
reply by the author on 05-Dec-2021
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Thank you for reading, commenting with a review, and for enjoying my story. I appreciate your time and thoughts. Have a great day!
Hugs, Carol