Football - A Novel
Viewing comments for Chapter 51 "Football Chapter 26 part 1"A mother faces life's struggles.
26 total reviews
Comment from robyn corum
Barbara,
I'm glad Jordan is doing so well so quickly. I cannot imagine what might have happened were things to have gone differently. Nice job on this whole section.
Some notes:
1.) The girls won their meet.(") He shook his head.
2.) You have (a) special connection with the girls.
3.) Jordan was the first to speak(.) "Can I go home?"
4.) Gabriel reached over and put his arm around Katherine's waist. "I got this. Don't worry."
--> here it seems like he's comforting Katherine when it's Jordan who's upset?
5.) A nurse will bring it in before he's released."
--> obviously not released from the hospital? That's far too quick - it's happening NOW
Good work! Thanks!
reply by the author on 10-Sep-2021
  |
Barbara,
I'm glad Jordan is doing so well so quickly. I cannot imagine what might have happened were things to have gone differently. Nice job on this whole section.
Some notes:
1.) The girls won their meet.(") He shook his head.
2.) You have (a) special connection with the girls.
3.) Jordan was the first to speak(.) "Can I go home?"
4.) Gabriel reached over and put his arm around Katherine's waist. "I got this. Don't worry."
--> here it seems like he's comforting Katherine when it's Jordan who's upset?
5.) A nurse will bring it in before he's released."
--> obviously not released from the hospital? That's far too quick - it's happening NOW
Good work! Thanks!
Comment Written 10-Sep-2021
reply by the author on 10-Sep-2021
-
Thank you for the help. I didn't understand the last suggestion. Can you help me?
-
The doctor was saying that he has ordered a helmet that will be delivered before Jordan is RELEASED - that sounds like he's saying 'before Jordan goes home from the hospital' - you know, released from hospital care. But that doesn't sound possible. To ORDER the helmet - as he's speaking to them - and GET it before Jordan leaves - in just a few short minutes or hours. ??
-
Now, I understand. Thank you. Some times my brain doesn't work. LOL
Comment from bhogg
Hi Barbara--I haven't been on FS in a good while. I do miss your stories. Of course, the story itself is always enjoyable, but it is always a learning experience for me. You are so professional! Perhaps what I like the most is the pace. It always pulls me through!
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 08-Sep-2021
 |
Hi Barbara--I haven't been on FS in a good while. I do miss your stories. Of course, the story itself is always enjoyable, but it is always a learning experience for me. You are so professional! Perhaps what I like the most is the pace. It always pulls me through!
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 07-Sep-2021
reply by the author on 08-Sep-2021
-
I have missed you. Thank you for dropping by and leaving this review. I hope you are here to stay.
Comment from estory
Your continuing along with consistent, finely crafted chapters, in my opinion. The dialogue is realistic, the attention to detail is excellent, you really have us right there in the room with Gabe and Katherine and her son. I liked that little line from Jordan when he says "ignore the teenager in the room." All these characters have wonderful personality and we see Katherine slowly melting here, along with Gabe, as they fall in love with each other. We see Gabe as a well rounded, compassionate guy, Katherine as a great mom, looking for love, but getting over her wounds. I think its a great story. estory
reply by the author on 07-Sep-2021
 |
Your continuing along with consistent, finely crafted chapters, in my opinion. The dialogue is realistic, the attention to detail is excellent, you really have us right there in the room with Gabe and Katherine and her son. I liked that little line from Jordan when he says "ignore the teenager in the room." All these characters have wonderful personality and we see Katherine slowly melting here, along with Gabe, as they fall in love with each other. We see Gabe as a well rounded, compassionate guy, Katherine as a great mom, looking for love, but getting over her wounds. I think its a great story. estory
Comment Written 07-Sep-2021
reply by the author on 07-Sep-2021
-
Thank you for the kind and encouraging review.
Comment from judiverse
I'm sorry this is late, but I'm so behind in reviewing. It's odd that I have so much to review today, but I sure haven't received many reviews. I'm glad Jordan's going to be all right. I don't know how Katherine can concentrate on her job with all that's been going on. Katherine may be falling in love with Gabriel, but her life would have been going a lot more smoothly if it hadn't been for him. Impressive that Gabriel visits any student who's been injured in a sporting event and has to be hospitalized. I hope there aren't too many of them. It will be interesting to see how the meeting with the lawyer goes. judi
reply by the author on 07-Sep-2021
|
I'm sorry this is late, but I'm so behind in reviewing. It's odd that I have so much to review today, but I sure haven't received many reviews. I'm glad Jordan's going to be all right. I don't know how Katherine can concentrate on her job with all that's been going on. Katherine may be falling in love with Gabriel, but her life would have been going a lot more smoothly if it hadn't been for him. Impressive that Gabriel visits any student who's been injured in a sporting event and has to be hospitalized. I hope there aren't too many of them. It will be interesting to see how the meeting with the lawyer goes. judi
Comment Written 06-Sep-2021
reply by the author on 07-Sep-2021
-
The meeting will be posted next week. I am not sure Katherine's life would be better without Gabriel. Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from amahra
Another fine chapter, Barbara. I really, really liked the scene where the nurse told of Gabriel's stay in the hospital overnight every time an athlete was injured. It really showed Katherine (and readers) just what kind of man he was. That was excellent.
reply by the author on 07-Sep-2021
|
Another fine chapter, Barbara. I really, really liked the scene where the nurse told of Gabriel's stay in the hospital overnight every time an athlete was injured. It really showed Katherine (and readers) just what kind of man he was. That was excellent.
Comment Written 06-Sep-2021
reply by the author on 07-Sep-2021
-
Thank you for the kind review. That's why I put the nurse's statement in.
Comment from Pam (respa)
-This is a very good chapter, barbara.
-I like how you portrayed the closeness
and caring of Gabe and Katherine.
-You also did a great job with Jordan.
-He is very polite, and I loved his
response after Gabe advised him
to listen to the doctor.
-He had another good moment
when he reminded his mother
and Coach there was a teenager in the room!
-Other things I liked were the sentiments
shared between Gabe and Katherine,
and the doctor's recommendation about
the helmet and instructions for Jordan's
recovery and playing football.
-Well done.
reply by the author on 06-Sep-2021
|
-This is a very good chapter, barbara.
-I like how you portrayed the closeness
and caring of Gabe and Katherine.
-You also did a great job with Jordan.
-He is very polite, and I loved his
response after Gabe advised him
to listen to the doctor.
-He had another good moment
when he reminded his mother
and Coach there was a teenager in the room!
-Other things I liked were the sentiments
shared between Gabe and Katherine,
and the doctor's recommendation about
the helmet and instructions for Jordan's
recovery and playing football.
-Well done.
Comment Written 06-Sep-2021
reply by the author on 06-Sep-2021
-
I made the corrections. Thank you for the help.
-
You are welcome. I took them out of the review for you.
Comment from RPSaxena
Hello BARBARA.WILKEY,
Nice piece of Romance Fiction having captivating flow throughout from the beginning to the end.
The story is revolving around Katherine and Gabriel through Jordan and side by side moving forward in an enchanting way.
Interesting and flawless!
reply by the author on 06-Sep-2021
|
Hello BARBARA.WILKEY,
Nice piece of Romance Fiction having captivating flow throughout from the beginning to the end.
The story is revolving around Katherine and Gabriel through Jordan and side by side moving forward in an enchanting way.
Interesting and flawless!
Comment Written 06-Sep-2021
reply by the author on 06-Sep-2021
-
Thank you for the encouragement.
-
Barbara.Wilkey,
Most Welcome!
With best wishes,
~ RP
Comment from Sandra Stoner-Mitchell
I really enjoyed this part, Barbara. The hospital scenes have been so true to life, Katherine's worry and anger, and Gabriel doing what he can to help with her sons. She now realises she went a bit OTT but as Gabe said, it was understandable considering her background. Now they have both confessed their love for each other, they can start moving on. But we still have the problem with Frost and the in-laws going for custody of Katherine's boys and their inheritence. Well done, my friend. :)) Sandra xxx
reply by the author on 06-Sep-2021
|
I really enjoyed this part, Barbara. The hospital scenes have been so true to life, Katherine's worry and anger, and Gabriel doing what he can to help with her sons. She now realises she went a bit OTT but as Gabe said, it was understandable considering her background. Now they have both confessed their love for each other, they can start moving on. But we still have the problem with Frost and the in-laws going for custody of Katherine's boys and their inheritence. Well done, my friend. :)) Sandra xxx
Comment Written 06-Sep-2021
reply by the author on 06-Sep-2021
-
Thank you for the encouragement.
Comment from Sankey
Another very interesting read. Can't help feeling the romance is progressing. Sorry late getting to this I am normally on it first thing in the morning. A couple of spags or suggestions.I don't want to hear you [c](p?)ut yourself down
"Here's a list[s] of do's and don'ts.
reply by the author on 06-Sep-2021
|
Another very interesting read. Can't help feeling the romance is progressing. Sorry late getting to this I am normally on it first thing in the morning. A couple of spags or suggestions.I don't want to hear you [c](p?)ut yourself down
"Here's a list[s] of do's and don'ts.
Comment Written 06-Sep-2021
reply by the author on 06-Sep-2021
-
Thank you for the encouragement. I have made the corrections. Thank you for the help.
-
Great glad to help.
Comment from Sanku
I fervently hope that he will be alright and won't show any delayed symptoms. you are taking the story step by step in a consummate and
elegant way .
reply by the author on 06-Sep-2021
|
I fervently hope that he will be alright and won't show any delayed symptoms. you are taking the story step by step in a consummate and
elegant way .
Comment Written 06-Sep-2021
reply by the author on 06-Sep-2021
-
Thank you for the encouragement.