Within the Bone
Viewing comments for Chapter 21 "A Pushed Limit"A tale of love, magic, and revenge.
2 total reviews
Comment from dellsworthpoet
This is a very complex series of people and things happening. By itself it is confusing. It might be better if seen in context.
The language is full. The characters are vibrant, if a bit too all of one cloth ( each either looking fully evil or fully good). The dialogue is good.
I have no suggestions.
Thanks for sharing.
reply by the author on 28-Aug-2021
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This is a very complex series of people and things happening. By itself it is confusing. It might be better if seen in context.
The language is full. The characters are vibrant, if a bit too all of one cloth ( each either looking fully evil or fully good). The dialogue is good.
I have no suggestions.
Thanks for sharing.
Comment Written 28-Aug-2021
reply by the author on 28-Aug-2021
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Thank you very much for reading and reviewing. It's definitely a little frustrating to have each chapter shown without the context, but I'm learning to adapt. I appreciate you giving it the time. Have an awesome day!
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You are welcome.
Comment from AJ McCall
Caliban is a jerk. But that jerk brought news of Mara's brother and mother are on the run. I'm glad a part of Mara still wants to see her mother, I just hope she can forgive her brother again and doesn't try and kill him first. I hope their two new companions will aid them and not turn against Mara and Aallotar. But I'm sure they'll find out soon enough just what the women can do. By the way, I love the names you give each charcter. What are they, latin? I'm a stickler for a good name.
I did spot one of your sentences too close to another. This line:
-Mara's arm, blistered and angry across the topography of incision scars(.")Lightning flowers," Saxa murmured...
I can't wait to find out what happens next!!
reply by the author on 28-Aug-2021
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Caliban is a jerk. But that jerk brought news of Mara's brother and mother are on the run. I'm glad a part of Mara still wants to see her mother, I just hope she can forgive her brother again and doesn't try and kill him first. I hope their two new companions will aid them and not turn against Mara and Aallotar. But I'm sure they'll find out soon enough just what the women can do. By the way, I love the names you give each charcter. What are they, latin? I'm a stickler for a good name.
I did spot one of your sentences too close to another. This line:
-Mara's arm, blistered and angry across the topography of incision scars(.")Lightning flowers," Saxa murmured...
I can't wait to find out what happens next!!
Comment Written 24-Aug-2021
reply by the author on 28-Aug-2021
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Thank you very much for reading and reviewing! Caliban is definitely a bit of a jerk. As far as names go, I've been using a combination of Finnish for the natives of the Red Mountain, Germanic for the Angrevarii and Firaesi, and Latin for the Imperials. I always recommend getting a wide variety. Check out Behind the Names website if you haven't seen it already. (And don't worry, I'm going to get to your giants post tonight). Have a good day!
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Finnish? Wow. I've never heard of that. LOL, or the website. I'll have to check them out. Thanks. And You're welcome!! Have a lovely weekend as well!
