The Chronicals Of Bethica: The Rise
Viewing comments for Chapter 9 "The Chronicles Of Bethica"Abram must defeat a deadly humanoid race of beings
9 total reviews
Comment from Ric Myworld
Action packed, one battle after another fighting real enemies and wooden demons. Makes it so that I can hardly wait to read what's going to happen next. Thanks for sharing.
reply by the author on 13-Jul-2021
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Action packed, one battle after another fighting real enemies and wooden demons. Makes it so that I can hardly wait to read what's going to happen next. Thanks for sharing.
Comment Written 13-Jul-2021
reply by the author on 13-Jul-2021
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Thank you, Rick. Wow, I can't believe you went back and read them all.
Comment from royowen
Wow it looks like Gangus and his merry men have been outmatched in this new discovery. It sounds like the odyssey of Odysseus pretty well, on his journey back to Ithaca, and the wondrous things on that journey home, beautifully written and a great story Amahra, a great tale anf imaginative writing, well done, blessings Roy
reply by the author on 29-Jun-2021
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Wow it looks like Gangus and his merry men have been outmatched in this new discovery. It sounds like the odyssey of Odysseus pretty well, on his journey back to Ithaca, and the wondrous things on that journey home, beautifully written and a great story Amahra, a great tale anf imaginative writing, well done, blessings Roy
Comment Written 29-Jun-2021
reply by the author on 29-Jun-2021
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Thank you, Roy. I always look forward to your review.
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Bless you
Comment from forestport12
Enjoyed the dialogue, using just the right tagline or power verb to keep the reader in the moment and action. It really got me deeper into the story itself. I'm glad for your notes, since I haven't been consistent. Just love how you use dialogue and make the characters stand out. To me, that's what makes the difference.
reply by the author on 29-Jun-2021
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Enjoyed the dialogue, using just the right tagline or power verb to keep the reader in the moment and action. It really got me deeper into the story itself. I'm glad for your notes, since I haven't been consistent. Just love how you use dialogue and make the characters stand out. To me, that's what makes the difference.
Comment Written 29-Jun-2021
reply by the author on 29-Jun-2021
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Wow, I don't know what to say, I'm so flattered for this review--and not just for the stars but that you enjoyed my story. This is the reason I write; I want people to enjoy what I work so hard to create. Thank you so much.
Comment from barbara.wilkey
This is not good at all!! I am hoping they make it back to the ship as safely as possible. You did a good job writing this. I could feel the anticipation and fear. That's good writing.
reply by the author on 29-Jun-2021
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This is not good at all!! I am hoping they make it back to the ship as safely as possible. You did a good job writing this. I could feel the anticipation and fear. That's good writing.
Comment Written 29-Jun-2021
reply by the author on 29-Jun-2021
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Thank you very much, Barbara.
Comment from Judy Lawless
I wish I had half your imagination, Amahra. There is so much going on and I long for some rest. lol Your action, imagery and dialogue carry this fantasy along. Well done.
reply by the author on 29-Jun-2021
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I wish I had half your imagination, Amahra. There is so much going on and I long for some rest. lol Your action, imagery and dialogue carry this fantasy along. Well done.
Comment Written 29-Jun-2021
reply by the author on 29-Jun-2021
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Thank you so much.
Comment from Theodore McDowell
Just joining into this exciting fantasy story. It is full of action. It reminds me of Moses leading the people into the wilderness and the sense of being betrayed by the gods. very well written. example: They appeared smoky-gray with peaks as rows of arrow tips. The action was non-stop and the description of this weird new land was very imaginative and creative.
reply by the author on 29-Jun-2021
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Just joining into this exciting fantasy story. It is full of action. It reminds me of Moses leading the people into the wilderness and the sense of being betrayed by the gods. very well written. example: They appeared smoky-gray with peaks as rows of arrow tips. The action was non-stop and the description of this weird new land was very imaginative and creative.
Comment Written 29-Jun-2021
reply by the author on 29-Jun-2021
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Thank you so much. I'm glad you enjoyed this chapter. And thank you for so many stars. I'm also flattered that you like my style of writing.
Comment from Jay Squires
I wish I had half your imagination. Wow! You really know how to ramp up the action and produce crisis after crisis. Great job.
Here are a few things you might want to take a look at. Use or discard, a lot of it is subjective, and you need to go with your gut.
Morality was down; [This can be a bit brambly. I think you mean "Morale was down. I looked at "morality" for a long time. It just didn't look right. Morality is more embedded in the culture, where morale can be fleeting.]
If Bebo couldn't flip out anymore [I think I'd suggest something other than "flip out" since it is a 20th century slang term. It just doesn't sound right to my ears, at least.]
The silence was deafening [If you can think of another metaphor for "silence" I'd advise using it. "Silence was deafening" is a hackneyed phrase.
I am thoroughly enjoying your tale!
reply by the author on 29-Jun-2021
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I wish I had half your imagination. Wow! You really know how to ramp up the action and produce crisis after crisis. Great job.
Here are a few things you might want to take a look at. Use or discard, a lot of it is subjective, and you need to go with your gut.
Morality was down; [This can be a bit brambly. I think you mean "Morale was down. I looked at "morality" for a long time. It just didn't look right. Morality is more embedded in the culture, where morale can be fleeting.]
If Bebo couldn't flip out anymore [I think I'd suggest something other than "flip out" since it is a 20th century slang term. It just doesn't sound right to my ears, at least.]
The silence was deafening [If you can think of another metaphor for "silence" I'd advise using it. "Silence was deafening" is a hackneyed phrase.
I am thoroughly enjoying your tale!
Comment Written 29-Jun-2021
reply by the author on 29-Jun-2021
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Thank you, Jay. Always a pleasure having you review my work. I'll look more closely at your suggestions.
Comment from Versch
Wow! Extraordinary writing. Exceptional. The narrative is excellent. It is like I was reading a real chapter in a published book, and I have read hundreds and hundreds of them. This is pack full of action. Dangers lurk everywhere. I was engrossed in reading from beginning to end. There's no dull moment in this chapter. I love it very much! I am curious what will happen to the leading character Gangus and his companions. Very well done!
reply by the author on 28-Jun-2021
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Wow! Extraordinary writing. Exceptional. The narrative is excellent. It is like I was reading a real chapter in a published book, and I have read hundreds and hundreds of them. This is pack full of action. Dangers lurk everywhere. I was engrossed in reading from beginning to end. There's no dull moment in this chapter. I love it very much! I am curious what will happen to the leading character Gangus and his companions. Very well done!
Comment Written 28-Jun-2021
reply by the author on 28-Jun-2021
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Thank you so much. I'm so happy that you were pleased with this chapter. And I'm so flattered by your review. It is a pleasure writing for readers like you. And I'm grateful for the stars.
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You are welcome!
Comment from Brenda Henderson
Compelling and engaging narrative. Extremely well crafted. Excellent character and plot development. You captivated the reader and managed to grip the reader's attention throughout the story. I can't imagine how this could have possibly been any better example of a fantasy book chapter! Exemplary work!
reply by the author on 28-Jun-2021
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Compelling and engaging narrative. Extremely well crafted. Excellent character and plot development. You captivated the reader and managed to grip the reader's attention throughout the story. I can't imagine how this could have possibly been any better example of a fantasy book chapter! Exemplary work!
Comment Written 28-Jun-2021
reply by the author on 28-Jun-2021
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Ahh, thank you so much. I am so glad you enjoyed this chapter. And thank you so much for so many stars. I really appreciated you.
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You're very welcome!