When The Devil Talks
You have to believe in tomorrow22 total reviews
Comment from MissMerri
A flawless presentation of a very good, breathtaking story. I had to keep reading... every single word. It was a bit of a surprise ending. I wasn't sure about a few things, such as why there were cuts on his arms, or where he was jumping from. The picture implies it is a high mountain. But, there is a good moral to the story and I liked it very much. The devil is a liar and we must listen to God instead. Thanks for the well-edited and thought-provoking story. MM
reply by the author on 02-Jun-2021
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A flawless presentation of a very good, breathtaking story. I had to keep reading... every single word. It was a bit of a surprise ending. I wasn't sure about a few things, such as why there were cuts on his arms, or where he was jumping from. The picture implies it is a high mountain. But, there is a good moral to the story and I liked it very much. The devil is a liar and we must listen to God instead. Thanks for the well-edited and thought-provoking story. MM
Comment Written 02-Jun-2021
reply by the author on 02-Jun-2021
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Thank you so much for your kindness and the thoughtful review. this contest entry and its restrictions on word count made it difficult to add everything so I hoped the picture helped. Have a great day!
Comment from royowen
Very well done, this is bringing to mind Jesus temptations at the hands of the devil, of course Jesus' response was different but that's why the divergence is so clever, beautifully written good luck, blessings Roy
reply by the author on 02-Jun-2021
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Very well done, this is bringing to mind Jesus temptations at the hands of the devil, of course Jesus' response was different but that's why the divergence is so clever, beautifully written good luck, blessings Roy
Comment Written 02-Jun-2021
reply by the author on 02-Jun-2021
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thank you for your kindness and the thoughtful review. Yes, holding on to our faith regardless of the temptations will bring us to a better end. Have a great day!
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Well done
Comment from Jannypan (Jan)
You did a great job with your contest entry, Mystery Author. I enjoyed reading it. I like the dialogue that leads up to the great conclusion. I was engaged from start to finish to find out the outcome. Your image is a great pairing. You give readers much to think about. Best wishes.
Thanks for sharing.
Respectfully, Jan
reply by the author on 02-Jun-2021
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You did a great job with your contest entry, Mystery Author. I enjoyed reading it. I like the dialogue that leads up to the great conclusion. I was engaged from start to finish to find out the outcome. Your image is a great pairing. You give readers much to think about. Best wishes.
Thanks for sharing.
Respectfully, Jan
Comment Written 02-Jun-2021
reply by the author on 02-Jun-2021
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It's strange how even in our everyday lives we find ourselves debating and wondering what-ifs when the devil prods us to do his bidding. I appreciate your kind review.
Comment from Judy Lawless
This is such an inspiring story, Carol. Your faith is amazing and you express it so well in these writings. I hope your strength endures and brings you through this darkness. Hugs.
reply by the author on 02-Jun-2021
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This is such an inspiring story, Carol. Your faith is amazing and you express it so well in these writings. I hope your strength endures and brings you through this darkness. Hugs.
Comment Written 02-Jun-2021
reply by the author on 02-Jun-2021
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this is your mystery author speaking... thank you for your kind and thoughtful review. Your encouragement is always appreciated. Smiles!
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Darn. My mistake. Good luck in the contest.
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LOL
Comment from Sherry Asbury
Outstanding work!!!! You had me until the end part, but I know the Lord protects us...this was rich...dumb Devil... you really have something special here and I hope people who do not believe read it and think!!
reply by the author on 02-Jun-2021
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Outstanding work!!!! You had me until the end part, but I know the Lord protects us...this was rich...dumb Devil... you really have something special here and I hope people who do not believe read it and think!!
Comment Written 02-Jun-2021
reply by the author on 02-Jun-2021
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Thank you very much Sherry for your kind words and thoughts. It's hard to put a story into so few words, but I am pleased it caught your attention. I do not try to push my beliefs on the reader, but hope they gain something from it.
Comment from Susan Larson
Really interesting dialogue and really interesting story. It flows well and sounds natural. You have a real skill for tight writing. I was hooked from the very start.
reply by the author on 02-Jun-2021
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Really interesting dialogue and really interesting story. It flows well and sounds natural. You have a real skill for tight writing. I was hooked from the very start.
Comment Written 02-Jun-2021
reply by the author on 02-Jun-2021
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Thank you Susan for all your kind words and thoughts. I truly appreciate it and am flattered. Have a great day!
Comment from blondie560
Great story about faith. We are tempted by many facets of the devil on a daily basis. Sometimes it feels so easy to just give in, but God has a different plan for you. Good luck in the contest!
reply by the author on 02-Jun-2021
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Great story about faith. We are tempted by many facets of the devil on a daily basis. Sometimes it feels so easy to just give in, but God has a different plan for you. Good luck in the contest!
Comment Written 02-Jun-2021
reply by the author on 02-Jun-2021
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Thank you so much for your kind words, the review and best wishes. All of it is greatly appreciated. Have a great day!
Comment from Earl Corp
What a great entry into the short story contest. I loved the twist at the end. Thank you for sharing this. Good luck in the contest. Stay safe and stay healthy.
reply by the author on 02-Jun-2021
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What a great entry into the short story contest. I loved the twist at the end. Thank you for sharing this. Good luck in the contest. Stay safe and stay healthy.
Comment Written 02-Jun-2021
reply by the author on 02-Jun-2021
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Thank you Earl for taking the time to read my contest entry and for the kind review and best wishes. I appreciate it very much. Have a great day!
Comment from Gregory Lambert
I really like your story. What a great way to illustrate the importance of faith. The dialog was succinct and easy to follow and the narrative held my attention for the entire story. Well done and best of luck in the 200 word story challenge!
reply by the author on 02-Jun-2021
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I really like your story. What a great way to illustrate the importance of faith. The dialog was succinct and easy to follow and the narrative held my attention for the entire story. Well done and best of luck in the 200 word story challenge!
Comment Written 02-Jun-2021
reply by the author on 02-Jun-2021
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good morning, Greg... How awesome of you to offer me the shiny stars for my contest entry, I appreciate you taking the time to read, review, and offer me such kindness for my writing. Have a great day!
Comment from Pantygynt
I wonder if this is in reality a story. It is to me more like a script. i would have appreciated a touch of narrative here and there. The location should have been described rather than relying on the accompanying picture. and reinforced along the way. The wind/rain/sunshine would have increased the reality of the dialogue.
The twist at the end might have been better described by the jerk Jason would have experienced as the parachute opened.
Second review: See what I mean? Much better.
reply by the author on 02-Jun-2021
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I wonder if this is in reality a story. It is to me more like a script. i would have appreciated a touch of narrative here and there. The location should have been described rather than relying on the accompanying picture. and reinforced along the way. The wind/rain/sunshine would have increased the reality of the dialogue.
The twist at the end might have been better described by the jerk Jason would have experienced as the parachute opened.
Second review: See what I mean? Much better.
Comment Written 02-Jun-2021
reply by the author on 02-Jun-2021
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Thanks for your thoughts and the review.
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I took your suggestion and revised the story. I liked the idea of the jerk. Thanks
