Football - A Novel
Viewing comments for Chapter 35 "Football Chapter 17 part 2"A mother faces life's struggles.
25 total reviews
Comment from Rosemary Everson1
This chapter is so sad, abusive relationship is an alert button....sad to hear that one of the track team members had a boyfriend who was abusive...I hope the boyfriend realizes how serious his behavior is......
reply by the author on 29-May-2021
  |
This chapter is so sad, abusive relationship is an alert button....sad to hear that one of the track team members had a boyfriend who was abusive...I hope the boyfriend realizes how serious his behavior is......
Comment Written 23-May-2021
reply by the author on 29-May-2021
-
Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from Rdfrdmom2
barbara:
I'm sorry I'm so late reviewing this - it has been a long, tough week physically. I really like this chapter. I have dealt with this way too many times in my career. Unfortunately, I fear those numbers above are way too low.
I noted a couple of spags below:
Both parents stared her >>>>>>>>>>>>
Both parents stared (at) her
problem with abuse it's learned behavior
problem with abuse, it's learned behavior
Keep up the good work.
Jan
reply by the author on 22-May-2021
|
barbara:
I'm sorry I'm so late reviewing this - it has been a long, tough week physically. I really like this chapter. I have dealt with this way too many times in my career. Unfortunately, I fear those numbers above are way too low.
I noted a couple of spags below:
Both parents stared her >>>>>>>>>>>>
Both parents stared (at) her
problem with abuse it's learned behavior
problem with abuse, it's learned behavior
Keep up the good work.
Jan
Comment Written 21-May-2021
reply by the author on 22-May-2021
-
I have made the corrections. Thank you for dropping by.
Comment from estory
I think there's a pretty intense scene there with the abused girl in the room with her parents and Katherine and the other teachers, discovering she is being hit by her boyfriend. You had plenty of emotion in it. The girl crying, the father getting pissed, threatening to give the kid an attitude adjustment. As always the dialogue is really strong, nice and intense, full of emotion and very realistic. estory
reply by the author on 22-May-2021
|
I think there's a pretty intense scene there with the abused girl in the room with her parents and Katherine and the other teachers, discovering she is being hit by her boyfriend. You had plenty of emotion in it. The girl crying, the father getting pissed, threatening to give the kid an attitude adjustment. As always the dialogue is really strong, nice and intense, full of emotion and very realistic. estory
Comment Written 19-May-2021
reply by the author on 22-May-2021
-
Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from Wendy G
You are dealing now with serious issues in relationships, and with skill and wisdom. These are all relevant in today's society, and there is a need to identify and speak out about such things in a natural way, which you are doing. Well done.
reply by the author on 22-May-2021
|
You are dealing now with serious issues in relationships, and with skill and wisdom. These are all relevant in today's society, and there is a need to identify and speak out about such things in a natural way, which you are doing. Well done.
Comment Written 17-May-2021
reply by the author on 22-May-2021
-
Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from eliz100
This is another great installment. I enjoyed reading it from beginning to end. I do not see any room for improvement. Your picture states the facts that support your story.
reply by the author on 22-May-2021
|
This is another great installment. I enjoyed reading it from beginning to end. I do not see any room for improvement. Your picture states the facts that support your story.
Comment Written 17-May-2021
reply by the author on 22-May-2021
-
Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from Sandra Stoner-Mitchell
No 'buts' about it! He is a nice guy! He might have had a bit of a reputation when he was younger, but he's a grown man now, and is really nice. (And he fancies Katherine, and, the feeling is mutual!! I did like the way the physical abuse was handled, I'm glad it wasn't the parents, and now she needs to keep away from that lad. I can understand what happened, it's always the way that the child grows up doing the same as the parent. It's a sick world. Well done, Barb, an excellent chapter. :) Sandra xx
reply by the author on 22-May-2021
 |
No 'buts' about it! He is a nice guy! He might have had a bit of a reputation when he was younger, but he's a grown man now, and is really nice. (And he fancies Katherine, and, the feeling is mutual!! I did like the way the physical abuse was handled, I'm glad it wasn't the parents, and now she needs to keep away from that lad. I can understand what happened, it's always the way that the child grows up doing the same as the parent. It's a sick world. Well done, Barb, an excellent chapter. :) Sandra xx
Comment Written 17-May-2021
reply by the author on 22-May-2021
-
Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from Ben Colder
Good story, which brought a few memories when I was a kid in school. They hung a nickname on Buddy Rough because I would whip the boys who wrote girls' names on the boy's bathroom wall in disrespect. I can appreciate this coach for what he is about to do. So will the kid in years to come.
My blessing to you, Barb.
reply by the author on 22-May-2021
|
Good story, which brought a few memories when I was a kid in school. They hung a nickname on Buddy Rough because I would whip the boys who wrote girls' names on the boy's bathroom wall in disrespect. I can appreciate this coach for what he is about to do. So will the kid in years to come.
My blessing to you, Barb.
Comment Written 17-May-2021
reply by the author on 22-May-2021
-
Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from Pam (respa)
-This is a very good chapter, Barbara,
and a good image to introduce it.
-You take on an important issue in this one.
-Katherine handles it in the right way with
compassion and understanding.
-It couldn't have been easy to do.
-It's too bad that it isn't done like
that more often in the real world.
-I think Gabe did the right thing
by having Kenny on the football team.
-It is a start to breaking the chain for him,
and maybe at home, too.
-I always enjoy the personal time
between Katherine and Gabe, and
I don't think there are any 'but's' about
it, but I am sure there will be!
-Well done.
reply by the author on 22-May-2021
|
-This is a very good chapter, Barbara,
and a good image to introduce it.
-You take on an important issue in this one.
-Katherine handles it in the right way with
compassion and understanding.
-It couldn't have been easy to do.
-It's too bad that it isn't done like
that more often in the real world.
-I think Gabe did the right thing
by having Kenny on the football team.
-It is a start to breaking the chain for him,
and maybe at home, too.
-I always enjoy the personal time
between Katherine and Gabe, and
I don't think there are any 'but's' about
it, but I am sure there will be!
-Well done.
Comment Written 17-May-2021
reply by the author on 22-May-2021
-
Thank you for the kind review.
-
You are very welcome.
Comment from Iza Deleanu
Another excellent teaming up for the well being of the kids from school. Good thing that the naughty boyfriend got discovered for the bullying of one of the girls. If these two continue like this, will soon be married:)
reply by the author on 22-May-2021
|
Another excellent teaming up for the well being of the kids from school. Good thing that the naughty boyfriend got discovered for the bullying of one of the girls. If these two continue like this, will soon be married:)
Comment Written 17-May-2021
reply by the author on 22-May-2021
-
Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from Jay Squires
Always a timely subject, abuse. I can understand the sudden response that Rhonda's father had. The parents are often the first suspects. I know when we took our children to their pediatrician as toddlers, they always seemed to have their shins bruised. He always looked at us with suspicious eyes, but didn't accuse us.
Some notes as I read along. Ignore if the changes were already made.
Grinning Gabriel walked away. "Slave driver." [Unless "Grinning Gabriel" is a nickname, you should have a comma after "grinning".]
"Coach Riley, Mr. and Mrs. Morgan. I'm need outside." [I'm NEEDED outside.] My apologies if I'm getting to this late in the day, probably after many changes have been made. I downloaded it first thing this A.M. but didn't have time to get to it until.
I know as a parent, your parents want to help. [To me, "as a parent" is redundant.]
Rhonda slid out of the chair closer to Katherine. [Is the emphasis on the chair that was closest to Katherine, or that she slid out of the chair to get closer to Katherine?
reply by the author on 22-May-2021
|
Always a timely subject, abuse. I can understand the sudden response that Rhonda's father had. The parents are often the first suspects. I know when we took our children to their pediatrician as toddlers, they always seemed to have their shins bruised. He always looked at us with suspicious eyes, but didn't accuse us.
Some notes as I read along. Ignore if the changes were already made.
Grinning Gabriel walked away. "Slave driver." [Unless "Grinning Gabriel" is a nickname, you should have a comma after "grinning".]
"Coach Riley, Mr. and Mrs. Morgan. I'm need outside." [I'm NEEDED outside.] My apologies if I'm getting to this late in the day, probably after many changes have been made. I downloaded it first thing this A.M. but didn't have time to get to it until.
I know as a parent, your parents want to help. [To me, "as a parent" is redundant.]
Rhonda slid out of the chair closer to Katherine. [Is the emphasis on the chair that was closest to Katherine, or that she slid out of the chair to get closer to Katherine?
Comment Written 16-May-2021
reply by the author on 22-May-2021
-
I had some edits. I hope I didn't make it worse.