The Spirit of the Wind
Viewing comments for Chapter 35 "Freedom and Glory"Newylwed homesteader Jane becomes a widow
10 total reviews
Comment from amahra
I just got back to posting a few days ago. Just found your post and I'm delighted to be reading you again. So, you've written a Western? I will try to keep up. Here's what I've liked below:
A cloud of smoke rose up from the bluff. The smell of sulfur lingered in the air. A gulf of silence followed, bringing smirks and smiles to the men's once startled faces. (Great imagery here)
"...beneath a blanket of stars." (good simile)
paraphrasing..."She dared to look in the mirror, afraid of not recognizing who she saw." (Though I'm late to the story, this makes me appreciated her ordeal.)
reply by the author on 26-May-2021
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I just got back to posting a few days ago. Just found your post and I'm delighted to be reading you again. So, you've written a Western? I will try to keep up. Here's what I've liked below:
A cloud of smoke rose up from the bluff. The smell of sulfur lingered in the air. A gulf of silence followed, bringing smirks and smiles to the men's once startled faces. (Great imagery here)
"...beneath a blanket of stars." (good simile)
paraphrasing..."She dared to look in the mirror, afraid of not recognizing who she saw." (Though I'm late to the story, this makes me appreciated her ordeal.)
Comment Written 24-May-2021
reply by the author on 26-May-2021
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Amahra, so great to hear from you again. I've been slow to post anything new. Glad to know you are actively on the site. I will stay in touch. Stan aka. Forestport.
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Yeah, I was gone a long time. But I'm back. I really miss you guys.
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I took a few breaks from it over the years. Some I've known disappear, never to be heard from again, then some are like never going anywhere. Blessings ahead!
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I will stop by to review yours soon. I get your posts. Blessings around the writing bend!
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Thanks, but take your time.
Oh, hey, I meant to ask you, is C-Lucas still with us?
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I have not seen any posts from him in a long time. But maybe, he slipped off my list and could be on site.
Comment from Robert Zimmerman
Hello Stan.
Jane has finally come close enough to deliverance that her senses are trying to re-acclimate. Your descriptive narrative again throughout the storytelling is so well done. It produces an image for the reader in his head to see what is happening. I could almost smell the lavender.
The fact that she is so close to being "home" is a great relief. The reader can only hope that nothing else happens prior to Jane being reunited with her husband.
Robert
reply by the author on 12-May-2021
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Hello Stan.
Jane has finally come close enough to deliverance that her senses are trying to re-acclimate. Your descriptive narrative again throughout the storytelling is so well done. It produces an image for the reader in his head to see what is happening. I could almost smell the lavender.
The fact that she is so close to being "home" is a great relief. The reader can only hope that nothing else happens prior to Jane being reunited with her husband.
Robert
Comment Written 10-May-2021
reply by the author on 12-May-2021
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Thanks Robert!
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You're welcome
Comment from Alaskastory
"Freedom and Glory" is the chapter that truly does sound like a new part of life will begin. Great fun to read.
"Redhawk who spent his revolver" --does this mean he was shooting at the Indians before the soldiers does? More detail to what he does and what the soldiers do will help make this easier to read.
reply by the author on 12-May-2021
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"Freedom and Glory" is the chapter that truly does sound like a new part of life will begin. Great fun to read.
"Redhawk who spent his revolver" --does this mean he was shooting at the Indians before the soldiers does? More detail to what he does and what the soldiers do will help make this easier to read.
Comment Written 08-May-2021
reply by the author on 12-May-2021
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Thanks Marie!
Comment from Rdfrdmom2
forestport12:
I cannot even begin to imagine how Jane and her husband both will each feel when they finally see each other after all their time apart. Even when you know it is supposed to happen, you still think your eyes are deceiving you. That's how it was the two times my brother came home from Vietnam.
Jan
reply by the author on 08-May-2021
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forestport12:
I cannot even begin to imagine how Jane and her husband both will each feel when they finally see each other after all their time apart. Even when you know it is supposed to happen, you still think your eyes are deceiving you. That's how it was the two times my brother came home from Vietnam.
Jan
Comment Written 07-May-2021
reply by the author on 08-May-2021
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Sounds like that must have been a dramatic moment to see him. Thanks for the wonderful review.
Comment from BethShelby
This was a excellent chapter. I wasn't sure if Redhawk was the friendly Indian at the end of the last chapter. I'm so glad to know she had finally out of danger. I'm loving this story. You are a talented writer.
reply by the author on 07-May-2021
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This was a excellent chapter. I wasn't sure if Redhawk was the friendly Indian at the end of the last chapter. I'm so glad to know she had finally out of danger. I'm loving this story. You are a talented writer.
Comment Written 06-May-2021
reply by the author on 07-May-2021
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Thanks again, Beth!
Comment from royowen
You've done very well with this exciting and a exciting incident heavy plot. Incredibly interesting, imaginative and creative story, with accompanying characters , I shall not forget the courage and faith of Running Deer, and of her brave, early misguided behaviour, all sacrificed for Jane's benefit, well done, great story. Blessings Roy
Typo : Jane knew she looked (like a) ghost.
reply by the author on 07-May-2021
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You've done very well with this exciting and a exciting incident heavy plot. Incredibly interesting, imaginative and creative story, with accompanying characters , I shall not forget the courage and faith of Running Deer, and of her brave, early misguided behaviour, all sacrificed for Jane's benefit, well done, great story. Blessings Roy
Typo : Jane knew she looked (like a) ghost.
Comment Written 06-May-2021
reply by the author on 07-May-2021
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Thanks so much, Roy. I actually think the final chapter or prologue will involve what I hope is a touching tribute to Little Deer, (Mary) when Jane connects with her family from a settlement near Minnesota. Blessings.
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Yes, a great character.
Comment from Bonnie Seach
Jane was a brave woman. Today we sit back in modern comfort. A far cry from the meagre and spartan life of yesterday's pioneers. There were good and bad people I all cultures. When in need the good people defied cultural differences and crossed boundaries for the sake of humanity. Best wishes
reply by the author on 07-May-2021
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Jane was a brave woman. Today we sit back in modern comfort. A far cry from the meagre and spartan life of yesterday's pioneers. There were good and bad people I all cultures. When in need the good people defied cultural differences and crossed boundaries for the sake of humanity. Best wishes
Comment Written 06-May-2021
reply by the author on 07-May-2021
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Thanks! My hope was to show how there was good, bad, and ugly that cut across all boundaries and people.
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Nice work
Comment from Ben Colder
Glad you brought her through self-survival. It has been a good, down-to-earth story toward what could have easily been the truth. I find no fault and compliment you for a job well done.
reply by the author on 07-May-2021
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Glad you brought her through self-survival. It has been a good, down-to-earth story toward what could have easily been the truth. I find no fault and compliment you for a job well done.
Comment Written 06-May-2021
reply by the author on 07-May-2021
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Thanks again, Big Ben my brother
Comment from Iza Deleanu
All is well when it ends well, finally a break through all her troubles: 'There was nothing like breathing the fresh free air around them and to be in the company of a small army. She fell asleep as night surrounded them. Every now and then she heard the sound of men talking or catch the sweet smell of hickory wood on a fire. There was nothing left but for her to fall into a cavernous sleep until daybreak, the day she would lay eyes on her husband-the day she'd start a new chapter in her life." Thank you for sharing and good luck with the next chapter.
reply by the author on 07-May-2021
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All is well when it ends well, finally a break through all her troubles: 'There was nothing like breathing the fresh free air around them and to be in the company of a small army. She fell asleep as night surrounded them. Every now and then she heard the sound of men talking or catch the sweet smell of hickory wood on a fire. There was nothing left but for her to fall into a cavernous sleep until daybreak, the day she would lay eyes on her husband-the day she'd start a new chapter in her life." Thank you for sharing and good luck with the next chapter.
Comment Written 06-May-2021
reply by the author on 07-May-2021
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Thanks so much. Coming to a close soon.
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You are so welcome
Comment from Jay Squires
You are a heckuva good storyteller. You had had me beside Jane the whole journey, watching things unfold through her eyes. My hat is off to you.
I found only two spots where you might elect to make changes, mostly in the area of syntax and grammar. And we all have problems there, often because we are too close to our own work to see the small glitches.
Jane knew she looked ghost. [Either, she looked "like a ghost" or "ghost-like" or "ghostly", but you can't use a noun to describe how a person looked.
Every now and then she heard the sound of men talking or catch the sweet smell of hickory wood on a fire. [Since you are using the simple past tense with "she HEARD" you need to be consistent with "... or CAUGHT the sweet smell of hickory wood on a fire.
I thoroughly enjoyed reading your story.
reply by the author on 07-May-2021
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You are a heckuva good storyteller. You had had me beside Jane the whole journey, watching things unfold through her eyes. My hat is off to you.
I found only two spots where you might elect to make changes, mostly in the area of syntax and grammar. And we all have problems there, often because we are too close to our own work to see the small glitches.
Jane knew she looked ghost. [Either, she looked "like a ghost" or "ghost-like" or "ghostly", but you can't use a noun to describe how a person looked.
Every now and then she heard the sound of men talking or catch the sweet smell of hickory wood on a fire. [Since you are using the simple past tense with "she HEARD" you need to be consistent with "... or CAUGHT the sweet smell of hickory wood on a fire.
I thoroughly enjoyed reading your story.
Comment Written 05-May-2021
reply by the author on 07-May-2021
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Thanks, Jay. I think I had fixed most of those knits. I think I missed the last one on past tense.