An Arresting Encounter
Romance can spring from unlikely places7 total reviews
Comment from Elizabeth Emerald
Congrats on your win for this charming story! I stopped by to grab your Faller script for my bookcase and found this gem. So glad I did. Not surprised you got the blue ribbon! Cheers. LIZ
reply by the author on 16-Jun-2021
  |
Congrats on your win for this charming story! I stopped by to grab your Faller script for my bookcase and found this gem. So glad I did. Not surprised you got the blue ribbon! Cheers. LIZ
Comment Written 16-Jun-2021
reply by the author on 16-Jun-2021
-
Thanks again Elizabeth, and thank you for the bookcase placement. I'm your fan for sure.
Comment from Goodadvicechan
Very moving case... even the judge drop a tear. The author is a good story teller. He described the case very well...
The conversations were real... The emotions reflect the current environment of COVID 19.
Good writing work. Good piece for the contest.
Thanks for sharing.
reply by the author on 13-Mar-2021
|
Very moving case... even the judge drop a tear. The author is a good story teller. He described the case very well...
The conversations were real... The emotions reflect the current environment of COVID 19.
Good writing work. Good piece for the contest.
Thanks for sharing.
Comment Written 13-Mar-2021
reply by the author on 13-Mar-2021
-
Thanks. Glad you liked it.
Comment from Susan Newell
This has a great story line, that is believable. But you have to resolve a few things. You have an unmarried woman known as Mrs. Langston, Mrs. Lanston and Mrs. Duncan, as well as an Officer Duncan. I also question that he would be able to just take the child. I think the boy would have to be turned over to Child Protective Services, which might bring the child to the court house. Straighten out these issues and you'll have a very good story.
reply by the author on 09-Mar-2021
 |
This has a great story line, that is believable. But you have to resolve a few things. You have an unmarried woman known as Mrs. Langston, Mrs. Lanston and Mrs. Duncan, as well as an Officer Duncan. I also question that he would be able to just take the child. I think the boy would have to be turned over to Child Protective Services, which might bring the child to the court house. Straighten out these issues and you'll have a very good story.
Comment Written 09-Mar-2021
reply by the author on 09-Mar-2021
-
Thanks for your review. I meant to say in the story the officer brought him to the child care center, who brought him to the courthouse for the mother after trial. I didn't explain that very well. Will fix. Thanks again.
-
You are welcome.
Comment from Carol Hillebrenner
Very well-written and an explanation that hangs together nicely. This reads rather like story in Woman's World although it might need to be shortened and the parts in parenthesis may be attached to the previous paragraph. Best of luck with this.
reply by the author on 09-Mar-2021
|
Very well-written and an explanation that hangs together nicely. This reads rather like story in Woman's World although it might need to be shortened and the parts in parenthesis may be attached to the previous paragraph. Best of luck with this.
Comment Written 09-Mar-2021
reply by the author on 09-Mar-2021
-
Thank for your review. Will do what you suggested.
Comment from pome lover
what a Cinderella story!
You started off with the problem, you brought in descriptive details and emotions, a reasonable judge and...feelings and actions under stress, on both sides, sympathy from the courtroom, and eventually a happy ending.
If I may make a suggestion about one phrase - when you're talking about the policeman, instead of saying "he sagged his shoulders," it would sound better if you said, "his shoulders sagged."
Other than that, good story.
Katharine - pome lover
reply by the author on 08-Mar-2021
|
what a Cinderella story!
You started off with the problem, you brought in descriptive details and emotions, a reasonable judge and...feelings and actions under stress, on both sides, sympathy from the courtroom, and eventually a happy ending.
If I may make a suggestion about one phrase - when you're talking about the policeman, instead of saying "he sagged his shoulders," it would sound better if you said, "his shoulders sagged."
Other than that, good story.
Katharine - pome lover
Comment Written 07-Mar-2021
reply by the author on 08-Mar-2021
-
Thanks for your review and suggestion. Will fix that.
Comment from PENofFIRE
What a terrific story, well told. I don't know if you are a published author, if not, give it a go; you certainly have the potential to become a great one.
Best wishes in the contest.
reply by the author on 08-Mar-2021
|
What a terrific story, well told. I don't know if you are a published author, if not, give it a go; you certainly have the potential to become a great one.
Best wishes in the contest.
Comment Written 07-Mar-2021
reply by the author on 08-Mar-2021
-
Many thanks, Pen of Fire. I have one story published from a contest win. I am writing a book now, a true story. I Will let you know when it's published, sometime this spring.
Comment from LisaMay
I love your story - i hope they get married and the 3 of them live happily ever after. You developed the story well, with good integration of dialogue. I particularly liked the courtroom reactions.
reply by the author on 08-Mar-2021
|
I love your story - i hope they get married and the 3 of them live happily ever after. You developed the story well, with good integration of dialogue. I particularly liked the courtroom reactions.
Comment Written 07-Mar-2021
reply by the author on 08-Mar-2021
-
Thank you Lisa may. So glad you enjoyed it.
