Within the Bone
Viewing comments for Chapter 17 "A Southern Encounter"A tale of love, magic, and revenge.
3 total reviews
Comment from AJ McCall
OH, MAN. I absolutely LOVE the energy of this chapter! The way you described the foreigners... the fighting in the little bar and the way it ended? I can't wait to read the next chapters! (I book cased them so I can keep up.) This book is awesome!
reply by the author on 13-Mar-2021
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OH, MAN. I absolutely LOVE the energy of this chapter! The way you described the foreigners... the fighting in the little bar and the way it ended? I can't wait to read the next chapters! (I book cased them so I can keep up.) This book is awesome!
Comment Written 07-Mar-2021
reply by the author on 13-Mar-2021
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Thank you very much for reading and reviewing! I'm glad you enjoyed it. Sorry about the delay in reply.
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It's fine. I've been gone too. You're welcome!
Comment from Carol Hillebrenner
Good solid writing with a hint of Andre Norton, from whom I learned to read. Very much enjoyed this and wish I hadn't missed earlier chapters. You should find a good publisher with this talent.
reply by the author on 26-Jan-2021
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Good solid writing with a hint of Andre Norton, from whom I learned to read. Very much enjoyed this and wish I hadn't missed earlier chapters. You should find a good publisher with this talent.
Comment Written 25-Jan-2021
reply by the author on 26-Jan-2021
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Thank you very much for reading and reviewing. I really appreciate it.
Comment from RetroStarfish
I really enjoyed this chapter even though it is the first in this book that I have read. You have sprinkled references to places, clothing and customs with care and in context that makes it all easily understandable.
Wonderful descriptions and dialogue, such as these gems:
"It offends," Aallotar grumbled.
'...a little huddled hint of civilization bounded on all sides by wilderness.'
'...his speech every bit as silver as the coin that he no doubt carried.'
I caution though that sometimes less is more. This sentence, for example, would be stronger without the last three words:
'Mara stepped out of his path, eyes following him to his destination.'
reply by the author on 24-Jan-2021
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I really enjoyed this chapter even though it is the first in this book that I have read. You have sprinkled references to places, clothing and customs with care and in context that makes it all easily understandable.
Wonderful descriptions and dialogue, such as these gems:
"It offends," Aallotar grumbled.
'...a little huddled hint of civilization bounded on all sides by wilderness.'
'...his speech every bit as silver as the coin that he no doubt carried.'
I caution though that sometimes less is more. This sentence, for example, would be stronger without the last three words:
'Mara stepped out of his path, eyes following him to his destination.'
Comment Written 24-Jan-2021
reply by the author on 24-Jan-2021
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Thank you very much for reading and reviewing. I'll work on tightening up the phrasing. I'm glad there were some gems in there.
