Comment from Jannypan (Jan)

Excellent

I enjoyed your sonnet. It is a complex style that you handled well. There is good imagery and flow. I read a couple of lines that were not in iambic meter, but that did not take away from your sad sonnet. The ending was unexpected.
Respectfully, Jan

 Comment Written 20-Jan-2021

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reply by the author on 20-Jan-2021

Thanks you.

Comment from Dorothy Farrell

Excellent

Hello JLR, a well written Spenserian sonnet, well written true to form. Good iambic pentameter maintained throughout. A romantic sonnet with an ending I did not expect - a definite turn. I like the term - the romance bombed. Better luck next time. Regards Dorothy x

 Comment Written 20-Jan-2021

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reply by the author on 20-Jan-2021

Thank you Dorothy.

Comment from Jenny Kartchner

Excellent

This poem is outstanding. I like the use of especially your verbs. I did not expect when I began reading that it would end like this. I liked this line
"Breathe deep the scents of near wild bloom bouquet.'

 Comment Written 20-Jan-2021

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reply by the author on 20-Jan-2021

Jenny, thank you so much.

Comment from Patty Palmer

Excellent

A well-written poem about two people walking along the ocean and enjoying the moment. Although, it didn't end the way I thought it would. I thought sure the guy would get the girl. Good luck with the contest~
Patty

 Comment Written 20-Jan-2021

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reply by the author on 20-Jan-2021

Patty, thank you.

Comment from joycetreasures

Excellent

Hello JLR,

This is a skillfully well written Spenserian Sonnet poem. You met the poem's requirement nicely. Your imagery artwork is lovely of the couple walking on the beach. This is a nice line, "Such glee comes as two souls enjoy this day." This was a very enjoyable read. Well done.

 Comment Written 19-Jan-2021

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reply by the author on 20-Jan-2021

Joyce, thank you very much!

reply by joycetreasures on 20-Jan-2021

You are so welcome!!

reply by joycetreasures on 21-Jan-2021

You are welcome.

Comment from Gypsy Blue Rose

Excellent

Spenserian sonnet
Walking the Strand
by JLR

Hello, Jim,

I love your poem's imagery...

"I cast my doubt upon the low morn tide...."

"The day unfolds; light fades into clouds grey...."

It starts very romantic but ends sadly.

Well done.

 Comment Written 19-Jan-2021

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reply by the author on 20-Jan-2021

Thank you so much!

Comment from Sandra Stoner-Mitchell

Excellent

This is a Sonnet form I haven't read before, only normally reading Shakespearean sonnets. But I have to say I really enjoyed reading it. The romance is clearly there in the man's mind, and is there for a while as he holds her hand walking along the shore, but it doesn't last, and soon ends. Sad sonnet, but most are. Well done! :)) Sandra xx

 Comment Written 19-Jan-2021

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reply by the author on 20-Jan-2021

Sandra, thank you..

Comment from Vanna1

Excellent

Exclamation point seems unnecessary. Your speech starts elegant and then ends in slang not a good option in my opinion. Keep it lofty and beautiful the way it was first. Good presentation. Thanks for sharing.

 Comment Written 19-Jan-2021

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reply by the author on 20-Jan-2021

Thanks.

Comment from estory

Excellent

This is a great musical style of sonnet, very classy, almost baroque in its ornaments. I think your images really portray the undercurrents rocking a relationship, the waves rolling that tug at you, pulling you sometimes apart. estory

 Comment Written 19-Jan-2021

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reply by the author on 20-Jan-2021

Thanks so much!

Comment from Ben Colder

Excellent

Interesting concept of poetry. What is it about the sandy beaches, the mist of the air that creates the moment for good clean romance with the girl of one's dreams? It does work.
Thanks for sharing your very nice write.

 Comment Written 19-Jan-2021

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reply by the author on 20-Jan-2021

Ben thank you.