Reviews from

Within the Bone

Viewing comments for Chapter 16 "A Warmth"
A tale of love, magic, and revenge.

3 total reviews 
Comment from Goodadvicechan
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

You are a good story teller. It may be a little hard for me to know the background of each character without reading the previous chapters. Having said that, it is obvious Aallotar and Mara are partners. You describe well about their behaviors.

Also it is easy to follow what is going on.

Good job.

 Comment Written 29-Dec-2020


reply by the author on 29-Dec-2020
    Thanks for reading and reviewing. I appreciate it and I'm glad it's easy to follow. Thank you.
Comment from AJ McCall
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

HA! Mara doesn't like dresses... I'm with ya girl. I don't really like them either but I'll wear them if I have to. I'm more of a jeans kinda girl, lol. Aallotar and Mara's bond is growing thicker and stronger. And I have a feeling Caliban is some how trying to get Mara to feel a certain way every time he addresses her so... fancily. (I'm not sure that's a word, lol) This journey... I worry Caliban might try to separate them to see Aallotar's beast. But I'll be waiting to read the next chapter eagerly!!

 Comment Written 29-Dec-2020


reply by the author on 29-Dec-2020
    Caliban's definitely up to something. Should be fun to show what. And yes, Aallotar and Mara are getting closer every day. I'm enjoying the interplay. Thank you very much for reading and reviewing!
reply by AJ McCall on 30-Dec-2020
    You're welcome!
Comment from Allezw2
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

The thesis leads one into a wonder world of unique individuals well defined even in this single chapter. The world seems one of medieval promise of bare survival of an individual if strong enough to overcome the hazards it will face. It seems based wholly on the wonder of Mara's existence and her vivisectional change being engineered by a demon of uncertain terminal intent. It reads well, and requires attention to the intricacies of what seems to be only a shelter within a cave, while exhibiting much more potential as its functions are learned. An intriguing effort that requires a bit more of the reader than some.
Nicely done,
Fantasist

 Comment Written 27-Dec-2020


reply by the author on 27-Dec-2020
    Thank you very much for reading and reviewing! I really appreciate it.
reply by Allezw2 on 27-Dec-2020
    You are quite welcome, Fantasist