Within the Bone
Viewing comments for Chapter 12 "A Home of Secrets"A tale of love, magic, and revenge.
2 total reviews
Comment from Ben B.
The storyline seems great so far. I've noticed however that you character Sammael speaks in all caps. Be careful with this method: if caps and italics are overdone it could become tedious to the reader.
reply by the author on 26-Dec-2020
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The storyline seems great so far. I've noticed however that you character Sammael speaks in all caps. Be careful with this method: if caps and italics are overdone it could become tedious to the reader.
Comment Written 26-Dec-2020
reply by the author on 26-Dec-2020
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Thanks for reading and reviewing. The caps is there just to denote demon/angel speech. It?ll unfortunately be consistent, at least as long as one is in the scene. I haven?t reasoned out another way yet.
Comment from AJ McCall
Something's off with this Caliban... Aallotar senses something, something that he wants. Maybe he wants Mara, or maybe her power. This was an interesting chapter. Gauis supposed to be one of the people who don't treat her differently because she has a dangerous power seemed to have let her down. And the demon, very mysterious... it does work, what kind of work? I guess I'll have to see in the next chapter which I'm going to read right after. Also, there was one sentence that confused me: -the other limb decidedly more human as the statue its hand wound in its hair as if tearing at it in grief.
I think you were trying to say: the other limb decidedly more human as the state had its hand wound in its hair as if tearing at it in grief...
I love where this story's going!!
reply by the author on 26-Dec-2020
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Something's off with this Caliban... Aallotar senses something, something that he wants. Maybe he wants Mara, or maybe her power. This was an interesting chapter. Gauis supposed to be one of the people who don't treat her differently because she has a dangerous power seemed to have let her down. And the demon, very mysterious... it does work, what kind of work? I guess I'll have to see in the next chapter which I'm going to read right after. Also, there was one sentence that confused me: -the other limb decidedly more human as the statue its hand wound in its hair as if tearing at it in grief.
I think you were trying to say: the other limb decidedly more human as the state had its hand wound in its hair as if tearing at it in grief...
I love where this story's going!!
Comment Written 26-Dec-2020
reply by the author on 26-Dec-2020
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I?ll take a look at that sentence and tighten it up. Thank you so much for reading and reviewing. I really appreciate it. Sammael is definitely a mysterious bugger. His intentions should really always probably be suspect, as a demon. Caliban should be a good foil for Aallotar. No spoilers since you?ve read the next chapter, but their relationship is not going to immediately improve.
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I'm sure it is not. You're welcome!
