Passing of a Friend
elegy in 5-7-5 format16 total reviews
Comment from Pam (respa)
-Very nice artwork and
presentation, Mark.
-I am sorry about the
passing of your friend.
-You wrote a very good
elegy using a few words.
-It shows how you miss
this person, but also show honor
as your "friend's soul rises."
-I can see why your poem
was chosen for POM, as well.
-Take care and be well.
reply by the author on 09-Jan-2021
-Very nice artwork and
presentation, Mark.
-I am sorry about the
passing of your friend.
-You wrote a very good
elegy using a few words.
-It shows how you miss
this person, but also show honor
as your "friend's soul rises."
-I can see why your poem
was chosen for POM, as well.
-Take care and be well.
Comment Written 09-Jan-2021
reply by the author on 09-Jan-2021
-
Thanks Pam.
Of course, I am most honored for the POM. I have no idea how I was included because I did not get many reviews for the same. My short poems often do not compete successfully with the longer poetry entries. Thanks too for your sensitive remarks about my family?s friend.
Mark
-
You are very welcome, Mark. I'm sure it was because of the content you were selected. I don't win in these contests either.
Comment from Joanne Gill-Maddick
This is a Beautiful 5-7-5 spiritual poem. We sit gazing, cross the void . Our friends soul rises. Well done. Beautiful photo. Good luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 09-Jan-2021
This is a Beautiful 5-7-5 spiritual poem. We sit gazing, cross the void . Our friends soul rises. Well done. Beautiful photo. Good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 08-Jan-2021
reply by the author on 09-Jan-2021
-
Joanne,
So pleased you liked this tribute to my friend. He really was a dear soul and his spirit will be missed, but he is in a better place now with no discomfort.
Mark
Comment from Liz O'Neill
I like your use of literary techniques. Your s's effects the sense of the spirit rising. There is also need for the quiet as we sit there contemplating their life and our life with them. This will touch many readers who have lost someone. I am voting for this.
reply by the author on 08-Jan-2021
I like your use of literary techniques. Your s's effects the sense of the spirit rising. There is also need for the quiet as we sit there contemplating their life and our life with them. This will touch many readers who have lost someone. I am voting for this.
Comment Written 08-Jan-2021
reply by the author on 08-Jan-2021
-
Liz,
THANK YOU for your contest endorsement. So pleased my message resonated with you. Renato was a dear friend of my family and he will be missed in this life, but not in our hearts.
Mark
Comment from amada
This is a great elegy in only 5-7-5 words. It choked me up because of its depth and sensibility. Gazing accorss the void choke me up. Great emotions. It was softening to read your poem.
reply by the author on 07-Jan-2021
This is a great elegy in only 5-7-5 words. It choked me up because of its depth and sensibility. Gazing accorss the void choke me up. Great emotions. It was softening to read your poem.
Comment Written 07-Jan-2021
reply by the author on 07-Jan-2021
-
Amanda,
Wow! Your emotions I think surpass my words. Our friend?s passing really shook up and choked up my family. THANK YOU for your review of my contest entry.
-
thank you so much. He is resting in so much peace...
Comment from LisaMay
Your respectful and loving elegy for your friend Renato is moving and apt.
We are all on edge these days, and on the edge of what? The unknown feels like a precipice, the void also - the words also carry feelings of grief and loss. Your friend has crossed the void and now his soul rises to live again, elsewhere, but in your hearts too.
reply by the author on 07-Jan-2021
Your respectful and loving elegy for your friend Renato is moving and apt.
We are all on edge these days, and on the edge of what? The unknown feels like a precipice, the void also - the words also carry feelings of grief and loss. Your friend has crossed the void and now his soul rises to live again, elsewhere, but in your hearts too.
Comment Written 07-Jan-2021
reply by the author on 07-Jan-2021
-
Lisa,
Our friend was a cancer survivor for 10 years or so, but the abyss was too much to overcome in the end. Thanks for your support for this contest entry.
-
A valiant struggle. He clearly wanted to stay around being your friend. My sincere condolences at his passing. Enduring friendship is to be valued.
Comment from Patricia Cammish
Hi
This is a neatly constructed 5 7 5 poem. I like your use of the word precipice in this situation. It works well.
I'm afraid I feel that your illustration is disappointing as it looks like a child in front of a screen. In my opinion your sensitive poem deserves something more empathic.
I hope this is useful.
Good luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 07-Jan-2021
Hi
This is a neatly constructed 5 7 5 poem. I like your use of the word precipice in this situation. It works well.
I'm afraid I feel that your illustration is disappointing as it looks like a child in front of a screen. In my opinion your sensitive poem deserves something more empathic.
I hope this is useful.
Good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 07-Jan-2021
reply by the author on 07-Jan-2021
-
Patricia,
I changed my artwork, but the original was just a person - child or not - looking out and wondering of the emptiness in his/her heart for the passing of a loved one or friend.
Mark
Comment from greyson ernst
this is really really good and really good luck in the contest and you so far won my vote and as always keep writing and stay safe
sincerely Greyson Ernst
reply by the author on 07-Jan-2021
this is really really good and really good luck in the contest and you so far won my vote and as always keep writing and stay safe
sincerely Greyson Ernst
Comment Written 07-Jan-2021
reply by the author on 07-Jan-2021
-
Thanks Greyson. I do appreciate your review and support for my contest entry.
Keep safe. Stay healthy.
Mark
Comment from Jannypan (Jan)
Please accept my sincere condolences on the loss of your dear friend. Your haiku elegy is well-written and presented. I understand hoiw hard it is.
Take care.
Respectfully, Jan
reply by the author on 21-Dec-2020
Please accept my sincere condolences on the loss of your dear friend. Your haiku elegy is well-written and presented. I understand hoiw hard it is.
Take care.
Respectfully, Jan
Comment Written 21-Dec-2020
reply by the author on 21-Dec-2020
-
Jan,
Yes it hit our family hard because his children are like siblings to mine. My kids spent parts of many summer vacations in their presence in their home.
Take care too! Keep safe.
Mark
Comment from tempeste
Ciao Marco !
First off condolence for your loss .. I read you wrote this lovely poem for your life time friend Renato who passed away yesterday.
Today 21st dec. happens to be my mamma's anniversary ( 2006) so your words made a strong impact on me..
No long comments today .. your words made me cry
Stay safe
Ciao!
reply by the author on 21-Dec-2020
Ciao Marco !
First off condolence for your loss .. I read you wrote this lovely poem for your life time friend Renato who passed away yesterday.
Today 21st dec. happens to be my mamma's anniversary ( 2006) so your words made a strong impact on me..
No long comments today .. your words made me cry
Stay safe
Ciao!
Comment Written 21-Dec-2020
reply by the author on 21-Dec-2020
-
Ciao!
21 December is coincidentally my wedding anniversary. We were married on the first day of summer in the SOUTHERN hemisphere. On the first day of winter 2020 in the NORTHERN hemisphere, we have an accumulation of at least 50 cms. of snow in our yard. We will do takeout for our celebratory dinner tonight.
Our memories never fade for our loved ones.
Mark
-
I hope you have a delightful day .. despite the cold and the lockdown protocols ..
Buon anniversario di matrimonio!
Take care and keep safe!
Comment from Janetsue
This is a beautiful posting, Mark. We have all lost someone we cared about deeply and it is not an easy thing to handle sometimes. I love that we, as writers, can address such events creatively which helps a little bit to adjust to some of the unwanted situations we face.
I am so sorry you lost such a dear lifelong friend. Thank you for sharing it with us.
reply by the author on 21-Dec-2020
This is a beautiful posting, Mark. We have all lost someone we cared about deeply and it is not an easy thing to handle sometimes. I love that we, as writers, can address such events creatively which helps a little bit to adjust to some of the unwanted situations we face.
I am so sorry you lost such a dear lifelong friend. Thank you for sharing it with us.
Comment Written 20-Dec-2020
reply by the author on 21-Dec-2020
-
Janet,
Yes it was quite a family blow. He died from the Big C and not Covid. His three children were like siblings to my two children. My kids spent parts of many summer vacations in their home.
Thanks for recognizing the pain - writing about it is bit easier than talking about the same with his family.
Stay safe during the upcoming holiday season.
Mark