A letter to myself
From years ago16 total reviews
Comment from Patricia Cammish
Obviously a poem of conflict and lies. too familiar to many of us.
I think your concept is a good one and you have successfully found a rhyming pattern abab cdcd efef .....etc. but , having done so, and thus chosen a structure, you are confusing your reader.
The poem is difficult to read because of the lack of consistent meter. You may say this is because of the unease and conflict within the poem ...and who am I to argue?
Without getting into correct meter structure the addition of a few extra beats might help, eg.
What if I told you it was only a lie?
Would you then fall down to your knees and cry?
Perhaps you would claim it just wasn't true.
That's what most sane people would do.
What do you think?
Hope this is useful.
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reply by the author on 28-Nov-2020
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Obviously a poem of conflict and lies. too familiar to many of us.
I think your concept is a good one and you have successfully found a rhyming pattern abab cdcd efef .....etc. but , having done so, and thus chosen a structure, you are confusing your reader.
The poem is difficult to read because of the lack of consistent meter. You may say this is because of the unease and conflict within the poem ...and who am I to argue?
Without getting into correct meter structure the addition of a few extra beats might help, eg.
What if I told you it was only a lie?
Would you then fall down to your knees and cry?
Perhaps you would claim it just wasn't true.
That's what most sane people would do.
What do you think?
Hope this is useful.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 28-Nov-2020
reply by the author on 28-Nov-2020
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This is an entry in the "No restrictions poetry" contest.
The meter is not inconsistent. It doesn't exist. Not all poetry requires a meter. With this contest happening today. You may see many poems without meter, or rhyme or forms you are used to. Just an FYI
Have a Great Day.
Comment from AnnieDawn
Wow, does this portray a strong image of self. I think you have carried out your letter nicely and covered the process of change. It is difficult and many have asked the questions mentioned in your letter. Great job on the content.
reply by the author on 29-Nov-2020
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Wow, does this portray a strong image of self. I think you have carried out your letter nicely and covered the process of change. It is difficult and many have asked the questions mentioned in your letter. Great job on the content.
Comment Written 28-Nov-2020
reply by the author on 29-Nov-2020
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Thank you so much.
Comment from Dolly'sPoems
This is an uplifting and powerful write and many people will identify with these words, at the end of the day we only have ourselves to rely on, we give ourselves confidence and we alone have the will to change our lives. I have been in a similar situation and we just have to grab life and make sure we make the right choices, we are given warning signs and we should listen to them, I enjoyed your poignant words here, love Dolly x
reply by the author on 29-Nov-2020
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This is an uplifting and powerful write and many people will identify with these words, at the end of the day we only have ourselves to rely on, we give ourselves confidence and we alone have the will to change our lives. I have been in a similar situation and we just have to grab life and make sure we make the right choices, we are given warning signs and we should listen to them, I enjoyed your poignant words here, love Dolly x
Comment Written 28-Nov-2020
reply by the author on 29-Nov-2020
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Thank you so much.
Comment from Wendy G
This is a very well constructed poem, with unfortunately a theme that is all too common. But yes, you are strong and your inner strength and belief will carry you through. Best wishes for the contest.
reply by the author on 29-Nov-2020
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This is a very well constructed poem, with unfortunately a theme that is all too common. But yes, you are strong and your inner strength and belief will carry you through. Best wishes for the contest.
Comment Written 28-Nov-2020
reply by the author on 29-Nov-2020
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Thank you so much.
Comment from Rx kingpen
I thought this was written with such conviction and insight that I gave it an extra star. The flow was good. Some powerful lines. Seemed like you were speaking from experience. A man surely displays those clues. Some want to get caught.
But you stand up and vow to live life in the last stanzas, i applaud it.
reply by the author on 29-Nov-2020
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I thought this was written with such conviction and insight that I gave it an extra star. The flow was good. Some powerful lines. Seemed like you were speaking from experience. A man surely displays those clues. Some want to get caught.
But you stand up and vow to live life in the last stanzas, i applaud it.
Comment Written 28-Nov-2020
reply by the author on 29-Nov-2020
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Thank you so much.
Comment from Elizabeth Emerald
Probably judges won't go for this--(though who knows--I never win either, even without DICK)--no matter--it is bold and heartfelt and sends a powerful message!
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 29-Nov-2020
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Probably judges won't go for this--(though who knows--I never win either, even without DICK)--no matter--it is bold and heartfelt and sends a powerful message!
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 28-Nov-2020
reply by the author on 29-Nov-2020
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Thank you so much.
