Little Billy
Viewing comments for Chapter 7 "The Challenge."memiors from my life experiences.
97 total reviews
Comment from Patrick G Cox
Hi keimosobie,
Never a good idea to challenge God or the Devil. As the Bible says, "Put not the Lord, your God, to the test."
You were incredibly lucky in this, I reckon your Guardian Angels must have earned the equivalent of the Victoria Cross or the Medal of Honour!
Patrick
reply by the author on 21-Sep-2010
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Hi keimosobie,
Never a good idea to challenge God or the Devil. As the Bible says, "Put not the Lord, your God, to the test."
You were incredibly lucky in this, I reckon your Guardian Angels must have earned the equivalent of the Victoria Cross or the Medal of Honour!
Patrick
Comment Written 21-Sep-2010
reply by the author on 21-Sep-2010
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thanks
Comment from patmedium
brought her out to jump through a wave or too. [two]
humongous wave would pull us back out to see as the [sea]
I have complete faith that this tale is true.
I hope it doesn't take THAT much effort for ME to stop smoking! Pat.
reply by the author on 21-Sep-2010
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brought her out to jump through a wave or too. [two]
humongous wave would pull us back out to see as the [sea]
I have complete faith that this tale is true.
I hope it doesn't take THAT much effort for ME to stop smoking! Pat.
Comment Written 21-Sep-2010
reply by the author on 21-Sep-2010
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thank you for the corrections and the review. yes it is true.
Comment from R. K. Alan
Good Lord, I can't imagine the terror you must have felt. I am not a swimmer, I almost drones when I was 8 when my uncle decided the best way for me to learn to swim was to be thrown into deep water. Hated it ever since. Thanks for this story. Ray aka krylon
nits...
1. As I came close to the shore Samantha was there and she asked me," how it was?". Is this dialogue? It doesn't seem like it.
2. she asked,"Could you bring me out?" capital 'S'
3. I can't hardly blame them[,] I am a good swimmer and I was fading fast.
4. I have ran[run?] marathons and never been this tired.
5. " I can't". she cried. period inside the quotation mark
6. There is[are] two things you can be sure of.
7. If I had failed[,] Satan would
Since I never gave up on Sam and was willing to die for her.[;] I had won and God has been blessing me ever since.
reply by the author on 21-Sep-2010
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Good Lord, I can't imagine the terror you must have felt. I am not a swimmer, I almost drones when I was 8 when my uncle decided the best way for me to learn to swim was to be thrown into deep water. Hated it ever since. Thanks for this story. Ray aka krylon
nits...
1. As I came close to the shore Samantha was there and she asked me," how it was?". Is this dialogue? It doesn't seem like it.
2. she asked,"Could you bring me out?" capital 'S'
3. I can't hardly blame them[,] I am a good swimmer and I was fading fast.
4. I have ran[run?] marathons and never been this tired.
5. " I can't". she cried. period inside the quotation mark
6. There is[are] two things you can be sure of.
7. If I had failed[,] Satan would
Since I never gave up on Sam and was willing to die for her.[;] I had won and God has been blessing me ever since.
Comment Written 21-Sep-2010
reply by the author on 21-Sep-2010
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thank Krylon corrections made.
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thanks again
Comment from M. Karol
What an ordeal. I think at times we say something in vain and then pay the price for it.
You did come out with flying colors though. I am sure your dotty must rememeber it always and it will give her strength in life to fight back.
Madhvi
reply by the author on 21-Sep-2010
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What an ordeal. I think at times we say something in vain and then pay the price for it.
You did come out with flying colors though. I am sure your dotty must rememeber it always and it will give her strength in life to fight back.
Madhvi
Comment Written 21-Sep-2010
reply by the author on 21-Sep-2010
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thank you
Comment from Fireshadow
This is a terrific entry for the Summertime Story contest. That must have been quite a horrendous event to experience. Some suggestions to make this great story a stronger contender in the contest :
(1) brother in law, Tom, (add both commas)
(2) By that time I could be a qua[r]ter mile out again (add "r")
(3) ["] I swallowed about a ton of sea water." (add quotation mark at the beginning)
(4) There is [are] two things ("are" because it's plural)
(5) when I said an our father (when I prayed Our Father)
(6) If I had failed[,] Satan would have won (add comma for pause)
(7) Since I never gave up on Sam and was willing to die for her[,] I had won and God has been blessing me ever since.
Good luck in the contest, my friend.
Amarillys
reply by the author on 21-Sep-2010
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This is a terrific entry for the Summertime Story contest. That must have been quite a horrendous event to experience. Some suggestions to make this great story a stronger contender in the contest :
(1) brother in law, Tom, (add both commas)
(2) By that time I could be a qua[r]ter mile out again (add "r")
(3) ["] I swallowed about a ton of sea water." (add quotation mark at the beginning)
(4) There is [are] two things ("are" because it's plural)
(5) when I said an our father (when I prayed Our Father)
(6) If I had failed[,] Satan would have won (add comma for pause)
(7) Since I never gave up on Sam and was willing to die for her[,] I had won and God has been blessing me ever since.
Good luck in the contest, my friend.
Amarillys
Comment Written 21-Sep-2010
reply by the author on 21-Sep-2010
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thank you so much for the kind review and the corrections I've made a hundred all ready thanks.
Comment from RaymondJohn
I was in heaven but--comma needed after heaven.
come back to the shallows and get my wind back--eliminate the second "back."
Exciting rescue scene. Excellent pace and I like the use of detail. It does sound like it was a great day to surf. Besides the two minor glitches mentioned above, I really found nothing to complain about. Best wishes. Ray
reply by the author on 21-Sep-2010
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I was in heaven but--comma needed after heaven.
come back to the shallows and get my wind back--eliminate the second "back."
Exciting rescue scene. Excellent pace and I like the use of detail. It does sound like it was a great day to surf. Besides the two minor glitches mentioned above, I really found nothing to complain about. Best wishes. Ray
Comment Written 21-Sep-2010
reply by the author on 21-Sep-2010
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thank you corrections made.
Comment from Judi
Dear Keimosobie,
I was on the edge of my chair while reading this story, half-wanting to hurry to the happy ending; but half-wanting to hold back in fear of what MIGHT happen!
The imagery in this piece was so vivid and compelling; it carried me along the waves right with you and Sam -- especially when you "set her into the wave". This was a terrific story, and set me on pins and needles throughout!
A few mistakes in grammar and spelling, but otherwise, a great job!
(Personally), I always TRY to think about what I say, for fear of 'challenging' Satan, but I am not always on the alert. I too, pray for God's blessings in all I do He truly is the only way out.
Your story is so impressive on so many levels. Super story, and even more superb ending! Judi
reply by the author on 21-Sep-2010
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Dear Keimosobie,
I was on the edge of my chair while reading this story, half-wanting to hurry to the happy ending; but half-wanting to hold back in fear of what MIGHT happen!
The imagery in this piece was so vivid and compelling; it carried me along the waves right with you and Sam -- especially when you "set her into the wave". This was a terrific story, and set me on pins and needles throughout!
A few mistakes in grammar and spelling, but otherwise, a great job!
(Personally), I always TRY to think about what I say, for fear of 'challenging' Satan, but I am not always on the alert. I too, pray for God's blessings in all I do He truly is the only way out.
Your story is so impressive on so many levels. Super story, and even more superb ending! Judi
Comment Written 21-Sep-2010
reply by the author on 21-Sep-2010
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wow thanks i could use some help finding the spags if you are so inclined thank you for the great review.
Comment from michaelcindy
What a story and true also! What do they say truth is stranger than fiction. It was very well written and the way you built suspense was excellent.
reply by the author on 21-Sep-2010
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What a story and true also! What do they say truth is stranger than fiction. It was very well written and the way you built suspense was excellent.
Comment Written 21-Sep-2010
reply by the author on 21-Sep-2010
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Thanks a bunch. I had been getting some negative feed back thank you.
Comment from Paulpl52
Hi kiem, thank you for the story it was very good and as I understand it, your first one. I will not comment on the many spag issues as I have read other reviews and what has been suggested already, is enough for you to be getting on with to fix.
I did like this story and as you point out in your notes, it was true. What an experience to have gone through. We have to be careful whom we challenge and I'm so glad you came through this ordeal. Fix those spag issues and I will gladly upgrade. Blessings, Paul.
reply by the author on 21-Sep-2010
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Hi kiem, thank you for the story it was very good and as I understand it, your first one. I will not comment on the many spag issues as I have read other reviews and what has been suggested already, is enough for you to be getting on with to fix.
I did like this story and as you point out in your notes, it was true. What an experience to have gone through. We have to be careful whom we challenge and I'm so glad you came through this ordeal. Fix those spag issues and I will gladly upgrade. Blessings, Paul.
Comment Written 21-Sep-2010
reply by the author on 21-Sep-2010
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Thank you for the review. thought i caught all the spags. Can you tell me some so I can fix. I would appriciate an up grade if you would thanks.
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Thanks again
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Thanks again
Comment from Nicky B
I live near the beach but I never swim in it because its something I've never really enjoyed doing. I don't like wet sand and my skin is too fair. But I do enjoy hearing the waves and looking upon the swimmers like you who brave the waves. I'm glad Satan didn't get you. Nick.
reply by the author on 21-Sep-2010
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I live near the beach but I never swim in it because its something I've never really enjoyed doing. I don't like wet sand and my skin is too fair. But I do enjoy hearing the waves and looking upon the swimmers like you who brave the waves. I'm glad Satan didn't get you. Nick.
Comment Written 21-Sep-2010
reply by the author on 21-Sep-2010
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thanks me too.