A Shiver of Sharks
A 5-7-5 for the contest80 total reviews
Comment from Raul1
This poem meets the requirements for the contest. It has a very good chance of winning the contest. Excellent work! No grammatical errors. Good luck in the contest!
reply by the author on 13-Jun-2020
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This poem meets the requirements for the contest. It has a very good chance of winning the contest. Excellent work! No grammatical errors. Good luck in the contest!
Comment Written 13-Jun-2020
reply by the author on 13-Jun-2020
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Thanks for your supportive review, Raul. Appreciated. Tony
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You're welcome.
Comment from Iza Deleanu
Very profound impact on the reader a pool of sharks in the ocean but also among us, the enemy who wants a chunk of us. Thank you for sharing and good luck with the contest.
reply by the author on 13-Jun-2020
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Very profound impact on the reader a pool of sharks in the ocean but also among us, the enemy who wants a chunk of us. Thank you for sharing and good luck with the contest.
Comment Written 13-Jun-2020
reply by the author on 13-Jun-2020
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Thank you, Iza. You have it exactly. Best wishes, Tony
Comment from Barb Hensongispsaca
A shiver of sharks groups them, diving into misfortune as a group also brings danger to the prey and also the smaller fish that get in the way, for their pound of flesh is their reward.
Also refers to today's predictors and the vision of greed
reply by the author on 13-Jun-2020
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A shiver of sharks groups them, diving into misfortune as a group also brings danger to the prey and also the smaller fish that get in the way, for their pound of flesh is their reward.
Also refers to today's predictors and the vision of greed
Comment Written 13-Jun-2020
reply by the author on 13-Jun-2020
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Thanks, Barb. You have it exactly. Best wishes, Tony
Comment from lancellot
Ah, very good. The misfortune is not that of the sharks but that of the fish. Oh, well they nature is not good, bad, or fair. It just is.
Good representation of that.
reply by the author on 13-Jun-2020
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Ah, very good. The misfortune is not that of the sharks but that of the fish. Oh, well they nature is not good, bad, or fair. It just is.
Good representation of that.
Comment Written 13-Jun-2020
reply by the author on 13-Jun-2020
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Survival of the fittest - or, in the case of loan sharks, the most amoral.
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Wait! Was your poem about human loansharks?
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Absolutely! Shylock's 'pound of flesh'.
Comment from Janice Canerdy
You have made effective use of your seventeen syllables is this descriptive piece about predators that never miss a chance to sink teeth into prey. Good use of symbolism
reply by the author on 13-Jun-2020
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You have made effective use of your seventeen syllables is this descriptive piece about predators that never miss a chance to sink teeth into prey. Good use of symbolism
Comment Written 13-Jun-2020
reply by the author on 13-Jun-2020
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Thanks, Janice. I appreciate your review and comments. Best wishes, Tony
Comment from Gypsy Blue Rose
A Shiver of Sharks
by tfawcus
Hello, Tony,
A shiver of sharks is a group of sharks but it's also what you'll feel when you see them. A very clever 5/7/5. Good syllable count and connection between lines. Well done my friend.
reply by the author on 13-Jun-2020
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A Shiver of Sharks
by tfawcus
Hello, Tony,
A shiver of sharks is a group of sharks but it's also what you'll feel when you see them. A very clever 5/7/5. Good syllable count and connection between lines. Well done my friend.
Comment Written 13-Jun-2020
reply by the author on 13-Jun-2020
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Thanks, Rose. I very much appreciate your positive review and the sixth star. Best wishes, Toy
Comment from Jesse James Doty
Wow. What a sight of hammerhead sharks! A shiver of sharks must be the way they are referred to when in groups. The second line describes a metaphor, I believe, of what is happening in today's world as the feeding frenzy of so many, who sell their soul to gain money, power, and prestige, sink their teeth into those of us misfortunate ones, who work for a living and get little money in return for how hard we work. The phrase, "pound of flesh" in an old one and I'm not sure what it is referring to. I do see the metaphor of flesh being what sharks bite into when they feed on other beings. This is very clever and shows the cunning way the rich feed off of the poor.
Take care,
Jesse
reply by the author on 13-Jun-2020
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Wow. What a sight of hammerhead sharks! A shiver of sharks must be the way they are referred to when in groups. The second line describes a metaphor, I believe, of what is happening in today's world as the feeding frenzy of so many, who sell their soul to gain money, power, and prestige, sink their teeth into those of us misfortunate ones, who work for a living and get little money in return for how hard we work. The phrase, "pound of flesh" in an old one and I'm not sure what it is referring to. I do see the metaphor of flesh being what sharks bite into when they feed on other beings. This is very clever and shows the cunning way the rich feed off of the poor.
Take care,
Jesse
Comment Written 13-Jun-2020
reply by the author on 13-Jun-2020
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Thanks very much for your review, Jesse. Your interpretation of my short poem is very much to the point. I actually had in mind 'loan sharks' and the 'pound of flesh' referred to Shylock's deal in Shakespeare's Merchant of Venice. All good wishes, Tony
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Hello Tony.
"Loan sharks"! Of course! That is a great metaphor to use! I'm glad my interpretation was correct. It is nice to hear from you again.
Take care,
Jesse
Comment from oliver818
I really enjoyed reading this poem. It flows well and has a very nice feel to it. The image is very powerful and quite scary. Thanks for sharing this and have a great day
reply by the author on 13-Jun-2020
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I really enjoyed reading this poem. It flows well and has a very nice feel to it. The image is very powerful and quite scary. Thanks for sharing this and have a great day
Comment Written 13-Jun-2020
reply by the author on 13-Jun-2020
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Thank you very much for your review, Oliver. Appreciated. Tony
Comment from lyenochka
Nicely alliterative 5-7-5 with sh-initial and the last word ends with 'sh' and you used the unusual aggregation noun, 'shiver.' I don't think I have ever seen so many hammerheads together! Somehow I always thought of them as loners. Best wishes in the contest.
reply by the author on 13-Jun-2020
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Nicely alliterative 5-7-5 with sh-initial and the last word ends with 'sh' and you used the unusual aggregation noun, 'shiver.' I don't think I have ever seen so many hammerheads together! Somehow I always thought of them as loners. Best wishes in the contest.
Comment Written 13-Jun-2020
reply by the author on 13-Jun-2020
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Thanks for your review, Helen, and for noticing the sh-iver! All good wishes, Tony
Comment from Spitfire
Is that what you call a group of sharks--shiver? Skip the literal meaning. I think of the looters who break store windows and are taking advantage of the covid situation.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 13-Jun-2020
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Is that what you call a group of sharks--shiver? Skip the literal meaning. I think of the looters who break store windows and are taking advantage of the covid situation.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 13-Jun-2020
reply by the author on 13-Jun-2020
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Thanks, Shari. A most topical interpretation. I actually had in mind 'loan sharks', though yours is equally valid. Best wishes, Tony
