The Voyager
A poem describing myself143 total reviews
Comment from DR DIP
Very well written Justin. Although I am not religious I could feel your message. Its seems you are questioning your faith be it blind or real.
faith must be challenging at the best of times when you see the tragedies that befall the world and you ask the question..If there is a god why would he let these tragedies
happen to innocent people, young children and good people.
I don't have the answer to your quandary.
At first, because it is written in 4 line verse, I started to read initially as if in rhyme but quickly realised it was just your word verse structure. but I quickly adapted.
enjoyed your poem
xxxdip
reply by the author on 12-Oct-2013
  |
Very well written Justin. Although I am not religious I could feel your message. Its seems you are questioning your faith be it blind or real.
faith must be challenging at the best of times when you see the tragedies that befall the world and you ask the question..If there is a god why would he let these tragedies
happen to innocent people, young children and good people.
I don't have the answer to your quandary.
At first, because it is written in 4 line verse, I started to read initially as if in rhyme but quickly realised it was just your word verse structure. but I quickly adapted.
enjoyed your poem
xxxdip
Comment Written 12-Oct-2013
reply by the author on 12-Oct-2013
-
Thank you Dip.
Comment from pickthorn
A lovely poem, well written of one who is on a voyage in search of God. There seems to be great difficulty as you
struggle with losing touch with reality, but in the end you have given your spirit and soul to the Lord Jesus, never to forsake. Great poem, well written.
reply by the author on 12-Oct-2013
|
A lovely poem, well written of one who is on a voyage in search of God. There seems to be great difficulty as you
struggle with losing touch with reality, but in the end you have given your spirit and soul to the Lord Jesus, never to forsake. Great poem, well written.
Comment Written 12-Oct-2013
reply by the author on 12-Oct-2013
-
Thank you Pickthorn.
Comment from Giddy Nielsen-Sweep
I started readingPilgrim's Progress... great book. Very humble poem, very honest, a true prayer with a ring of authenticity. Something from the heart is always worth reading, Thank you Justin, Giddy
reply by the author on 12-Oct-2013
|
I started readingPilgrim's Progress... great book. Very humble poem, very honest, a true prayer with a ring of authenticity. Something from the heart is always worth reading, Thank you Justin, Giddy
Comment Written 12-Oct-2013
reply by the author on 12-Oct-2013
-
Thank you Giddy.
Comment from Stepperdark
I would love to read your original poem. This is well written. Giving words to many people in this day and age, thoughts. I have walked that road myself. Thank you for sharing with us.
reply by the author on 12-Oct-2013
 |
I would love to read your original poem. This is well written. Giving words to many people in this day and age, thoughts. I have walked that road myself. Thank you for sharing with us.
Comment Written 12-Oct-2013
reply by the author on 12-Oct-2013
-
Thank you very much Stepperdark.
Comment from Silent1rose
This a very deep poem with a deeper meaning. Very good work. I didn't see anything wrong with it at all. Thank you for sharing your journey with us here on 'Fanstory'. ~ Rose
reply by the author on 12-Oct-2013
|
This a very deep poem with a deeper meaning. Very good work. I didn't see anything wrong with it at all. Thank you for sharing your journey with us here on 'Fanstory'. ~ Rose
Comment Written 12-Oct-2013
reply by the author on 12-Oct-2013
-
Thank you Rose.
-
My pleasure.
Comment from Bryana
Well Justin it seems to me you were going through some difficult time, I can tell by your poem. You were wise putting your faith in God, He will help you. This line is rather long, maybe you can shorten it a little...
And no longer distinguish what is false and what is real.
No longer can tell what's false and what's real.
This is just a suggestion. I hope everything is OK with you. Keep on writing this certainly helps.
Good luck to you.
reply by the author on 12-Oct-2013
|
Well Justin it seems to me you were going through some difficult time, I can tell by your poem. You were wise putting your faith in God, He will help you. This line is rather long, maybe you can shorten it a little...
And no longer distinguish what is false and what is real.
No longer can tell what's false and what's real.
This is just a suggestion. I hope everything is OK with you. Keep on writing this certainly helps.
Good luck to you.
Comment Written 12-Oct-2013
reply by the author on 12-Oct-2013
-
Thank you Bryana.
Comment from Martin Chan
The poem " The Voyager " is a nicely composed poem written in rhyming quatrains. The poem is written with a good imagination and with nice choice of words. It has strong theme.
reply by the author on 12-Oct-2013
|
The poem " The Voyager " is a nicely composed poem written in rhyming quatrains. The poem is written with a good imagination and with nice choice of words. It has strong theme.
Comment Written 11-Oct-2013
reply by the author on 12-Oct-2013
-
Thank you Martin.
Comment from JW
This is a very well written and dramatic poem. In reading one one could easily feel the narrator's emotions.
Thanks for sharing this. JW
reply by the author on 11-Oct-2013
|
This is a very well written and dramatic poem. In reading one one could easily feel the narrator's emotions.
Thanks for sharing this. JW
Comment Written 11-Oct-2013
reply by the author on 11-Oct-2013
-
Thank you Jon.
Comment from michaelcahill
this is a great piece my friend. lots of excellent imagery supports personal feelings that are conveyed most clearly. many points here that the reader will recognize and be drawn in by weaving in their own story with yours. a couple suggestions:
"And no longer distinguish what is false or what is real"
seems a bit long in comparison to the rest of the piece.
no big deal but, I would suggest
"And no longer distinguish false from real"
still rhymes and says the same thing, just a bit shorter.
"And this is his tale:"
"And this is his tale to tell:"
just a slight rewording and that gives you a better rhyme. everything else rhymes perfectly which makes the one case that is a tad off stand out. anyway, just suggestions. it is fine as it is and quite a well written and enjoyable read. best regards, mike
reply by the author on 11-Oct-2013
|
this is a great piece my friend. lots of excellent imagery supports personal feelings that are conveyed most clearly. many points here that the reader will recognize and be drawn in by weaving in their own story with yours. a couple suggestions:
"And no longer distinguish what is false or what is real"
seems a bit long in comparison to the rest of the piece.
no big deal but, I would suggest
"And no longer distinguish false from real"
still rhymes and says the same thing, just a bit shorter.
"And this is his tale:"
"And this is his tale to tell:"
just a slight rewording and that gives you a better rhyme. everything else rhymes perfectly which makes the one case that is a tad off stand out. anyway, just suggestions. it is fine as it is and quite a well written and enjoyable read. best regards, mike
Comment Written 11-Oct-2013
reply by the author on 11-Oct-2013
-
Thank you Michael.
Comment from Gungalo
My heart is beating so intensely
With every step I take.
Jesus, I give you my spirit and my soul
For I know I am yours, never to forsake.
It is quite lengthy but I guess the story warrants it. It's awful to be in such a position but apparently you have found your way. That's really good.
reply by the author on 11-Oct-2013
|
My heart is beating so intensely
With every step I take.
Jesus, I give you my spirit and my soul
For I know I am yours, never to forsake.
It is quite lengthy but I guess the story warrants it. It's awful to be in such a position but apparently you have found your way. That's really good.
Comment Written 11-Oct-2013
reply by the author on 11-Oct-2013
-
Thank you Gungalo.
-
SMile Justin.