Comment from mauial

Excellent

Your poem has a good rhythmic flow to it. The overall thought comes through that giving in to the materialistic wants is a factor in spoilt brats.

 Comment Written 24-Sep-2012

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reply by the author on 27-Sep-2012

Thank you.
Steve

Comment from Heaven Bound

Excellent

I really enjoyed this. It is clever and entertaining, and would do well for children. Excellent total presentation (picture and color combination).

 Comment Written 24-Sep-2012

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reply by the author on 27-Sep-2012

Thank you - glad you enjoyed.
Steve

Comment from adewpearl

Excellent

love her name
excellent abcb rhyme that adds to the humor with pairings like wazoo/too
good action verbs and alliteration in flew and flurried, scampered and scurried
I also like your internal rhymes in each C line
I love that her dolls had their own loo LOL
A fun poem, Steve :-) Brooke

 Comment Written 24-Sep-2012

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reply by the author on 27-Sep-2012

Thanks, Brooke. I thought I might make my spoilt kid a little different and not a brat, but no, the exploding Brianna had her covered.
Steve

Comment from Mara del Mar

Excellent

I like this poem. This picture and color scheme of the poem give it greater impact. Adorable.
Reads and flows well and makes sense.
Good pacing and rhyming , very funny.
Good luck.

 Comment Written 24-Sep-2012

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reply by the author on 27-Sep-2012

Thank you - contest is done and dusted with no glory for Annabel, unfortunately - but then she did get all the cake!
Steve

Comment from terry drake

Excellent

I guess she had no stress when she undressed and slept like a babe in the nude. But her attitude proved to be rude as she gathered her things she thought best. Your poem was well written with a bounce to enjoy. Fun read.

 Comment Written 24-Sep-2012

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reply by the author on 27-Sep-2012

Thanks, Terry. Don't even want to think about the alarmingly overweight babe in the nude!
Steve

Comment from cvcopac

Excellent

You do'm the best and manage, somehow, to make it look effortless. I know better. So I'll keep reviewing these exceptional works until you're one day banned for over-qualification. Very creative and imaginative, down to earth and whimsical. Best of luck in the contest. cvc

 Comment Written 24-Sep-2012

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reply by the author on 27-Sep-2012

Thank you - contest is done and dusted with no glory for Annabel, unfortunately - but then she did get all the cake!
Steve

Comment from justatuna

Excellent

I thought this was a great poem. An excellent lesson for children. I don't give advice on structure as I'm no expert. But this seemed perfect. Very well done.

 Comment Written 24-Sep-2012

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reply by the author on 27-Sep-2012

Thank you!
Steve

Comment from c_lucas

Excellent

This is very well written with a smooth flow of words, making for a very interesting read. There is very good imagery. Good luck in your contest.

 Comment Written 24-Sep-2012

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reply by the author on 27-Sep-2012

Thank you - contest is done and dusted with no glory for Annabel, unfortunately - but then she did get all the cake!
Steve

reply by c_lucas on 27-Sep-2012

You're welcome, Steve. Charlie

Comment from rashi kumar

Excellent

Some wonderful rhyming here!
Umpteenth wazoo! Nice sounds- a lounge and a loo!
Very well-written, funny yet irritates that how spoilt this Annabel was!
Pleasure to read:)
Namaste

 Comment Written 24-Sep-2012

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reply by the author on 27-Sep-2012

Than you for your kind words.
Steve

Comment from bossladyone

Excellent

I like this poem. It was fun and funny. It is well written and flows very well. You have fulfilled the challenge. This picture and color scheme of the poem give it greater impact. Thank you for sharing

 Comment Written 24-Sep-2012

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reply by the author on 27-Sep-2012

Thank you.
Steve