Last Flight of the Red Baron.
Thinking about history.80 total reviews
Comment from jake cosmos aller
loved this funny poem about the last days of the Red Barron I would have made it into a Snoopy from Peanuts fame poem about his imaginary quest to take down the red barron
reply by the author on 15-Aug-2024
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loved this funny poem about the last days of the Red Barron I would have made it into a Snoopy from Peanuts fame poem about his imaginary quest to take down the red barron
Comment Written 15-Aug-2024
reply by the author on 15-Aug-2024
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LOL! Thank you Jake for your review. I really appreciate that.
Comment from jmdg1954
Phew. When I daydream I'm usually thinking pina colada and a Caribbean beach!
I found your historical day dream very intriguing, interesting and well rhymed and written.
Thank you for posting this for us to read.
Cheers,
John
reply by the author on 15-Aug-2024
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Phew. When I daydream I'm usually thinking pina colada and a Caribbean beach!
I found your historical day dream very intriguing, interesting and well rhymed and written.
Thank you for posting this for us to read.
Cheers,
John
Comment Written 15-Aug-2024
reply by the author on 15-Aug-2024
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LOL! Well, thank you John for your review. I really appreciate that!
Comment from Neonewman
Wow! Harry, great description. I felt like I was there. I always loved hearing tales of the Red Baron when I was young. You, my friend, have brought that back. Thank you for sharing.
God bless,
Steve
reply by the author on 15-Aug-2024
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Wow! Harry, great description. I felt like I was there. I always loved hearing tales of the Red Baron when I was young. You, my friend, have brought that back. Thank you for sharing.
God bless,
Steve
Comment Written 15-Aug-2024
reply by the author on 15-Aug-2024
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Well, thank you for your kind words Steve. I really appreciate the review!
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My pleasure, Harry.
Comment from SimianSavant
I remember all about the Red Baron from reading about him as a kid. The German ace had 80 kills, and always attacked with the sun behind him, and one day a British pilot played his same trick back on him.
Great story just in need of a little proofreading. Because your version is unmetered, I suggest visually presenting it to be a bit more like prose, with less space between the individual lines, and increasing the font size. In fact, I think this reads better with less rhyming.
the blood red Fokker <= written as blood-red, because the word "blood" is not an adjective except when attached to "red"
as if-in a trance <= this hyphen can be eliminated
bullets whiz by and tear into the red <= since red is functioning as an adjective, I suggest not ending the line on it, to avoid over-emphasizing it
Thanks for a memorable reminder of this old story,
🦍
reply by the author on 15-Aug-2024
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I remember all about the Red Baron from reading about him as a kid. The German ace had 80 kills, and always attacked with the sun behind him, and one day a British pilot played his same trick back on him.
Great story just in need of a little proofreading. Because your version is unmetered, I suggest visually presenting it to be a bit more like prose, with less space between the individual lines, and increasing the font size. In fact, I think this reads better with less rhyming.
the blood red Fokker <= written as blood-red, because the word "blood" is not an adjective except when attached to "red"
as if-in a trance <= this hyphen can be eliminated
bullets whiz by and tear into the red <= since red is functioning as an adjective, I suggest not ending the line on it, to avoid over-emphasizing it
Thanks for a memorable reminder of this old story,
🦍
Comment Written 15-Aug-2024
reply by the author on 15-Aug-2024
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Well, thank you so much Simian. I really appreciate your review and your insight!
Comment from Gunner Lil
A great picture that has been used that shows the action in the poem.
An easy read with a nice pace that also flows well. Very good rhyming.
Thank you for sharing.
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reply by the author on 15-Aug-2024
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A great picture that has been used that shows the action in the poem.
An easy read with a nice pace that also flows well. Very good rhyming.
Thank you for sharing.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 15-Aug-2024
reply by the author on 15-Aug-2024
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Well, thank you so much Gunner. I appreciate your kind words and review.
Comment from Barry Penfold
Not a bad daydream. Love the image and an exciting read. The legendary Red Baron gets done by a British Ace. Did they ever name the British Ace. I bet he had a party that night. Thanks for sharing.
All the best.
Barry Penfold.
reply by the author on 15-Aug-2024
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Not a bad daydream. Love the image and an exciting read. The legendary Red Baron gets done by a British Ace. Did they ever name the British Ace. I bet he had a party that night. Thanks for sharing.
All the best.
Barry Penfold.
Comment Written 15-Aug-2024
reply by the author on 15-Aug-2024
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Well, thank you Barry. There was always so much controversy about who really killed the Baron. Some say it was the British Ace Roy Brown. But others think the Austrailian machine gun crew who was shooting at the Baron hit him. But it went down as Roy Brown.
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Thanks for that information. Have a great day.
Comment from Jacob1395
I loved how you captured the movement of the plane in this piece and I could really visualize it in my mind as I was reading. I thought your writing was really well written and it flowed well. I enjoyed reading it.
reply by the author on 15-Aug-2024
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I loved how you captured the movement of the plane in this piece and I could really visualize it in my mind as I was reading. I thought your writing was really well written and it flowed well. I enjoyed reading it.
Comment Written 15-Aug-2024
reply by the author on 15-Aug-2024
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Well, thank you so much Jacob. I really appreciate your kind words and your review.
Comment from Ulla
Hi Harry, you have spinned a story (no pun intended) within
your poem about quite a famous or infamous fighter from the first world war. But here we see how he finally met his nemesis. Indeed, the Red Baron was no more. I really liked your rhyming poem. Ulla:)))
reply by the author on 15-Aug-2024
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Hi Harry, you have spinned a story (no pun intended) within
your poem about quite a famous or infamous fighter from the first world war. But here we see how he finally met his nemesis. Indeed, the Red Baron was no more. I really liked your rhyming poem. Ulla:)))
Comment Written 15-Aug-2024
reply by the author on 15-Aug-2024
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Well, thank you Ulla for your kind words. I really appreciate that!
Comment from iDri.Luv.Jesus
Hi, you got a believer artsy image that looked like a true war planes, very nice, and so as your writing. Although, I have no 6 stars in my drop list. Then, the 5stars fit for the writer that his/her work is very closed to the topic asked for. Here is my reasoning for a 4 star to this one of your:
It's a bit confusing of above topic "War and History" Poetry. Isn't anything about war and history is about more factual than just a personal story telling that came from a daydreaming instead it's based on a real event or a true factual history of the war. I feel that anything about War and History applied toward real life of the world, country, nations, etc... and not something of a made up. Let says, if your topic like War and Marvel poetry, then it would make more sense to write like way you did; so therefore, reader(s) like me won't be too confused. Anyway, I wish you best of luck!
reply by the author on 25-Jul-2024
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Hi, you got a believer artsy image that looked like a true war planes, very nice, and so as your writing. Although, I have no 6 stars in my drop list. Then, the 5stars fit for the writer that his/her work is very closed to the topic asked for. Here is my reasoning for a 4 star to this one of your:
It's a bit confusing of above topic "War and History" Poetry. Isn't anything about war and history is about more factual than just a personal story telling that came from a daydreaming instead it's based on a real event or a true factual history of the war. I feel that anything about War and History applied toward real life of the world, country, nations, etc... and not something of a made up. Let says, if your topic like War and Marvel poetry, then it would make more sense to write like way you did; so therefore, reader(s) like me won't be too confused. Anyway, I wish you best of luck!
Comment Written 24-Jul-2024
reply by the author on 25-Jul-2024
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Well, thank you, but this is a true story about Baron Von Richthofen, the leading fighter pilot of WW1.
Comment from Patty Mazzurco
Wow, what a day dream... this poem really draws you into the action! I love how you've brought the Red Baron's daring flight to life with such vivid detail. The imagery of the "blood red Fokker triplane" and the intense dogfight with the "British Sopwith Camel" is fantastic. You really feel the tension and excitement as the Baron takes to the skies.
If I could offer a little suggestion, tightening up some of the language could make the poem flow even better. The transitions between the Baron's maneuvers and the dramatic end might benefit from a bit more smoothness.
For instance, instead of "Baron Von Richthofen is airborne once more," you might try "The Red Baron soars into the sky again." This tweak keeps the action lively and smoothens the flow.
But honestly, you've captured such a powerful and emotional moment that it's hard not to be drawn in. Great job!
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The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 25-Jul-2024
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Wow, what a day dream... this poem really draws you into the action! I love how you've brought the Red Baron's daring flight to life with such vivid detail. The imagery of the "blood red Fokker triplane" and the intense dogfight with the "British Sopwith Camel" is fantastic. You really feel the tension and excitement as the Baron takes to the skies.
If I could offer a little suggestion, tightening up some of the language could make the poem flow even better. The transitions between the Baron's maneuvers and the dramatic end might benefit from a bit more smoothness.
For instance, instead of "Baron Von Richthofen is airborne once more," you might try "The Red Baron soars into the sky again." This tweak keeps the action lively and smoothens the flow.
But honestly, you've captured such a powerful and emotional moment that it's hard not to be drawn in. Great job!
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 24-Jul-2024
reply by the author on 25-Jul-2024
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Thank you for your kind words and insight.