Act of Endurance
Viewing comments for Chapter 1 "All Aboard"Dawn of Chaos
63 total reviews
Comment from nancyrabbrose
It was a delightful fantasy poem, a real train ride through imagination and words put in an interesting fashion. As you say, in your poem you were able to paint pictures of places, things, feelings, etc. that only a child -- about 4 years old, let's say -- could think about. A child who has that great imagination. And, how wonderful that is. I know you must have enjoyed writing your fantasy poem.
Well done.
reply by the author on 18-Aug-2015
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It was a delightful fantasy poem, a real train ride through imagination and words put in an interesting fashion. As you say, in your poem you were able to paint pictures of places, things, feelings, etc. that only a child -- about 4 years old, let's say -- could think about. A child who has that great imagination. And, how wonderful that is. I know you must have enjoyed writing your fantasy poem.
Well done.
Comment Written 17-Aug-2015
reply by the author on 18-Aug-2015
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I thank Walt Disney for such inspiring dreams.Thanking you for generous rate and welcomed comments.
Comment from Senyai
Hi, TPAC. A surrealistic journey here! I would ask what you are on, but I would be trying to be cute.
It was a magical mystery tour in the fantastical, horror and pleasure swirling, zig-zagging across an edible world made of sugary treats. But the train is the most vivid. With it's round face brought Thomas the Train to mind. (I've never trusted Thomas :) --But gone terribly wrong. Your quick brush strokes with words carry us on this incredible ride, lurching, jumping the tracks, careening around curves through hills and valleys of fruits, creams, candy. Oh, the horror. Excellent work, reminds me of the indomitable Mr. Wells, George Orwell or Ray Bradbury
Here are a few lines that may or may not need grammatical correction. Not sure if they do since you have your own special way of sentence construction.
Them below a rainbow curving arch
Images they creates are swirled candy canes
Soil tastes a hot, sour or sweet rock candy
Climate changes in cycles they creating treats
Enjoyed reading,
Senyai
reply by the author on 02-Aug-2015
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Hi, TPAC. A surrealistic journey here! I would ask what you are on, but I would be trying to be cute.
It was a magical mystery tour in the fantastical, horror and pleasure swirling, zig-zagging across an edible world made of sugary treats. But the train is the most vivid. With it's round face brought Thomas the Train to mind. (I've never trusted Thomas :) --But gone terribly wrong. Your quick brush strokes with words carry us on this incredible ride, lurching, jumping the tracks, careening around curves through hills and valleys of fruits, creams, candy. Oh, the horror. Excellent work, reminds me of the indomitable Mr. Wells, George Orwell or Ray Bradbury
Here are a few lines that may or may not need grammatical correction. Not sure if they do since you have your own special way of sentence construction.
Them below a rainbow curving arch
Images they creates are swirled candy canes
Soil tastes a hot, sour or sweet rock candy
Climate changes in cycles they creating treats
Enjoyed reading,
Senyai
Comment Written 31-Jul-2015
reply by the author on 02-Aug-2015
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First thank you for generous rate and warming comment, I like milk, I will look into those pits, but you statement has answered my doubts, you endured the journey -good heads up
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You are most welcome, TPAC.
Comment from Michael Ludwinder
I thought this was wonderfully creative. I love how you framed this poem around a train. It was an enjoyable read and was very different. Great job.
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reply by the author on 02-Aug-2015
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I thought this was wonderfully creative. I love how you framed this poem around a train. It was an enjoyable read and was very different. Great job.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 31-Jul-2015
reply by the author on 02-Aug-2015
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Say it seemed unique to you, thanks to Walt Disney his dream, I wish I was so loving to children as him, thanking you for over generous rate and dear comment