Comment from Laureen Bennett

Excellent

Vivid imagery and an easy, flowing read with such a wonderful, even whimsical look at oneself! Love the line "I'm celebrating me." The last stanza with repetitive internal rhyme pattern is great and I think it looks like "jazz hands" waving in the air at the end too! So well done in verse and flow of ideas!

 Comment Written 23-Jan-2013

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reply by the author on 23-Jan-2013

yeah for "jazz hands"! Thx so much, Laureen! :) Sharyn

Comment from justatuna

Exceptional

Whatever your smoking...I'm in. This is a magnificent write. So much of you is in this work. Ode to me is right. I love the way your poems read like a scene from a movie. They just flow on some sort of strange air. Another great write. I'm sure you will place in this contest.

 Comment Written 23-Jan-2013

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reply by the author on 23-Jan-2013

Hey, Rob - what a sweetheart! Thank you so much for that lovely SIX! (And I doubt I'll place in the contest - I never do well in those things). :)Sharyn

reply by justatuna on 23-Jan-2013

You're crazy. I see those first place ribbons on your work all the time.

reply by the author on 23-Jan-2013

only for the prompts I'm afraid - rarely for anyting sponsored by FS!

Comment from Sanku

Exceptional

What glory! what exuberance!I am sure Whitman will wholeheartedly approve and rejoice.Your joy is infectious .I am glad your generous licking of banana bread has not made you anti bathroom day.i loved your poem and its message.One's happiness comes when one is happy with oneself.Lovely!

 Comment Written 23-Jan-2013

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reply by the author on 23-Jan-2013

Bless you, Sanku. Thank you so much for sharing my "dance" with your wonderful SIX! (Now I'll dance even MORE!) :)sHARYN

Comment from Barb Hensongispsaca

Excellent

Wow, what a fun time. this piece flows with feeling of letting go and telling the world "Hey here I am. Me. Accept me as I am". I love the flow and the sights and being able to close my eyes and be there.

 Comment Written 23-Jan-2013

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reply by the author on 23-Jan-2013

Thank you so much, Barb. I don't recognize your name - are you new to Fanstory?
Best wishes
Sharyn

reply by Barb Hensongispsaca on 23-Jan-2013

I started in December. Poetry and open prose only. I am learning a lot and enjoying

Comment from adewpearl

Excellent

I like the nod to Whitman :-)
nice alliteration and assonance of short U sounds in supple, subtle
love the use of burgeoning
excellent use of rhymes
including the internal rhyme of smile and dial
I like the spiritual element and the warm humor combined
nice assonance in single twinkling wink
and in hicupping tick
more excellent alliteration and sound devices throughout
vivid descriptive detail
and a wonderfully exuberant tone in celebrating yourself and your life :-) Brooke

 Comment Written 23-Jan-2013

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reply by the author on 23-Jan-2013

thx so much, Brooke! :)Sharyn

Comment from poesyapprentice

Excellent

Girl, what a happy go lucky, I'm living a glorious life today, affirming, sincere, adorable write about unique adorable you! It makes one want to do a dance of their own! You are infectious here, delightfully so, and just made me feel good with this piece so thank you so very much my happy hippie! ; ) I dug it! (sorry for the late review, I'm behind, ugh)

 Comment Written 23-Jan-2013

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reply by the author on 23-Jan-2013

thx so much poesy - happy to have you dancing now that you've caught up on your shut-eye!:)

reply by poesyapprentice on 23-Jan-2013

I forgot to tell you that I get it now. I went back and looked at the script. I have never seen a one man play nor read a screen play until I started seeing yours and the storyteller/jp confused me at first, along with not having the right mindset... a play, not a story, one actress. Got it and then I could visualize it clearly and it was a creeeeeper girl! and fantastic as I knew it would be! (the beat inclusions were distracting for me though, pulled me out of the story for a beat) Thank you for introducing me, my girl! Wonderful job!

reply by the author on 23-Jan-2013

but you understand 'beat' now, right? an actor's pause, that's all. glad you're getting it! :))))

reply by poesyapprentice on 23-Jan-2013

Yes, I checked out some reviews. There is always some helpful stuff to be found in there and you had explained the pause to another reviewer. Not used to reading scripts I couldn't ignore the jolt it left me when it showed up, lol! Looking forward to your next one!

Comment from l.raven

Excellent

That is just wonderful Sharyn. That is knowing what you are worth. And when you know that you feel good about life and yourself. You can feel happy all over this poem. A wonderful write. Very well written. Linda xx

 Comment Written 23-Jan-2013

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reply by the author on 23-Jan-2013

Thank you so much, Linda - yes, I had fun with this one! :)Sharyn

Comment from MaggieB50

Excellent

Wow! What an awesome visual for me, word choice is great, flows nicely..and yes, Walt Whitman..my fav ! Good Job ! Maggie..

 Comment Written 23-Jan-2013

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reply by the author on 23-Jan-2013

thx so much Maggie! :)sharyn

Comment from Glasstruth

Excellent

So lively, optimistic, and the writing so smooth. There's no way for me to get tongue-tied reading this. Like how it's centered, and how your creativity spaces it down at the end. Wish I had a sixer. Just superb! Les

 Comment Written 23-Jan-2013

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reply by the author on 23-Jan-2013

oh I'm always glad to hear from you, Les! thank you very much, and thank you for your virtual '6' dear! :)Sharyn

Comment from Connie C

Excellent

I like that you make reference to Whitman's "Song of Myself," and I
like your free verse poem in which you celebrate yourself. Good for
you! I looked at your picture while reading this very fine poem of yours,
and I can see you celebrating. I truly enjoyed this--free verse and all!
I'm just sorry I don't have any sixes left to give you.
Connie

 Comment Written 22-Jan-2013

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reply by the author on 22-Jan-2013

Bless you, Connie - my pleasure! :)Sharyn