Quietude
Heroic Crown Of Sonnets - 15 interlinked sonnets.84 total reviews
Comment from RobertaLee
"All that is mined is yours to share for sure," - do you mean "all that is MINE..."
This is incredible and you are right! Quite an accomplishment. The metaphors throughout are quite wonderful and allude to many parts of love with colorful imagery and rhyme. Very well done...must be quite a muse, your's. I know the 'rules' are strict,but I wonder if you might change the superlative "so" to another word on occassion, particularly when it is in close proximity to another "so." Just a thought.
Thanks for a great read; your have my sincere admiration.
Blessings,
Roberta
reply by the author on 25-Sep-2010
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"All that is mined is yours to share for sure," - do you mean "all that is MINE..."
This is incredible and you are right! Quite an accomplishment. The metaphors throughout are quite wonderful and allude to many parts of love with colorful imagery and rhyme. Very well done...must be quite a muse, your's. I know the 'rules' are strict,but I wonder if you might change the superlative "so" to another word on occassion, particularly when it is in close proximity to another "so." Just a thought.
Thanks for a great read; your have my sincere admiration.
Blessings,
Roberta
Comment Written 25-Sep-2010
reply by the author on 25-Sep-2010
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No I definitely meant mined. But I will take a look at "so" and see what I think I could replace it with. All depends on the iambic pentameter. LOL. Thank you so very much poet for this awesome review!!!
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That makes it really quite cute...you are very good at "allusion!" Gives a whole new meaning to the line. :)
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Ahhhh, you get it now!!! LOL. Thanks you. MUAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.
Comment from heyjude
Gungalo, Wow. I could never write like that. I wish I had
a 6 to give you. So much beauty comes to us in those quiet
moments of solitude. Dreams, emotions rare. In the quiet we can go back to those moments that made us smile. Beautiful.
reply by the author on 25-Sep-2010
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Gungalo, Wow. I could never write like that. I wish I had
a 6 to give you. So much beauty comes to us in those quiet
moments of solitude. Dreams, emotions rare. In the quiet we can go back to those moments that made us smile. Beautiful.
Comment Written 25-Sep-2010
reply by the author on 25-Sep-2010
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Thanks so very much poet. What a great smile you left for me and that is better that a six any day. Thanks again.
Comment from c_lucas
This is quite a project. I like the fourth stanza best. Your poem is very wll written with very good imagery and descriptive scheme.
reply by the author on 25-Sep-2010
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This is quite a project. I like the fourth stanza best. Your poem is very wll written with very good imagery and descriptive scheme.
Comment Written 25-Sep-2010
reply by the author on 25-Sep-2010
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Thanks so much poet. It was quite a project and I'm so glad it's done. An equally large project to read and review it. For that I am extremely thankful.
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You are welcome,G. Charlie
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MUAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.
Comment from pickthorn
You are to be commended for writing such a wonderful and ( as far as I can tell) flawless poem of love. I could never do this. It is so beautifully done. I have nothing but fives left or I would give you a six. It is just lovely.
pickthorn
reply by the author on 25-Sep-2010
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You are to be commended for writing such a wonderful and ( as far as I can tell) flawless poem of love. I could never do this. It is so beautifully done. I have nothing but fives left or I would give you a six. It is just lovely.
pickthorn
Comment Written 25-Sep-2010
reply by the author on 25-Sep-2010
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Thank you pickthorn. I'm driven by the love in my life and just had to write one of these. I appreciate that you read this for I know it is long. Thank you again.
Comment from rosewood57
WOW. I think this is one of the best I've read here on fanstory. I love the rhyme scheme, and the meter. You make it look so effortless and flowing. The effort it takes to get through it is well worth the work, to understand the imagery which is not just abstract, but also very spiritual and quite satisfying. Congratulations on a work well worth the time.
reply by the author on 25-Sep-2010
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WOW. I think this is one of the best I've read here on fanstory. I love the rhyme scheme, and the meter. You make it look so effortless and flowing. The effort it takes to get through it is well worth the work, to understand the imagery which is not just abstract, but also very spiritual and quite satisfying. Congratulations on a work well worth the time.
Comment Written 25-Sep-2010
reply by the author on 25-Sep-2010
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Thanks so very much for reading this monster of a write, lamewood. You've humbled me with your review and I'm smiling. Not sure how soon I'd do another one though. Again, thank you!!!!
Comment from 7thpoet
Congratulations on such an arduous writing . I read it twice, for there where some points that made me stop and ponder. This is not exactly a full rhyme scheme although it does follow through, just some sentences are rather long for the wording. Nothing worth changing though. Beautiful, none the less. You must rest your mind and hand for you deserve it.
reply by the author on 25-Sep-2010
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Congratulations on such an arduous writing . I read it twice, for there where some points that made me stop and ponder. This is not exactly a full rhyme scheme although it does follow through, just some sentences are rather long for the wording. Nothing worth changing though. Beautiful, none the less. You must rest your mind and hand for you deserve it.
Comment Written 25-Sep-2010
reply by the author on 25-Sep-2010
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I'd love to have you point those sentences out for me, when you have time. I like to make sure what I write is right. Thank you so very much for a fantastic review of this one and for taking the time to read it! Twice? Yikes. I appreciate it very much.
Comment from RKagan
This is a beautiful poem. It is written well with a great flow. The words work well together. I see in the author notes just how difficult this was to write. good job
reply by the author on 25-Sep-2010
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This is a beautiful poem. It is written well with a great flow. The words work well together. I see in the author notes just how difficult this was to write. good job
Comment Written 25-Sep-2010
reply by the author on 25-Sep-2010
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Thank you so much. Not so difficult as tiring. Just to keep track of it all is amazing. Thank you so very much poet for having the stamina to read it for me.
Comment from psalmist
Wow, I think this needs many times to read and reread. But I totally got caught up in the flow and beauty of each stanza. It pulled me along, irresistibly. I like how each stanza begins with the line from the previous one, connecting and linking them together. Beautiful.
reply by the author on 25-Sep-2010
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Wow, I think this needs many times to read and reread. But I totally got caught up in the flow and beauty of each stanza. It pulled me along, irresistibly. I like how each stanza begins with the line from the previous one, connecting and linking them together. Beautiful.
Comment Written 25-Sep-2010
reply by the author on 25-Sep-2010
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Thank you, poet. It was a huge endeavor to write it but so glad I did. The feeling of accomplishment is wonderful. Your words are equally as wonderful and I thank you so very much!!!!!
Comment from LadyCosgrove
Phew! That was a long read. I don't feel I can say nearly enough to balance the amount of work you put into this.
So I will make do with...This is a beautifully thought out creation, with all the mastery of a pro. :o)
reply by the author on 25-Sep-2010
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Phew! That was a long read. I don't feel I can say nearly enough to balance the amount of work you put into this.
So I will make do with...This is a beautifully thought out creation, with all the mastery of a pro. :o)
Comment Written 25-Sep-2010
reply by the author on 25-Sep-2010
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Wow and wow you!!! Thanks so very much just for reading it. Yes, long it is and let me tell you when I was done writing it, I nearly collapsed and thought I'd go blind. LOL. But now I can say I have written it. What an awesome review from you!!! Thanks again LadyCosgrove!!!!
Comment from rama devi
WOW!!! WOW WOW WOW WOW!
Superb! Outstanding.
Finely crafted!
Perfect meter--which is astounding in fifteen sonnets! Whew! Bravo!
Am giving this a six in spite of a small handful of spag nits (noted at end of review)--because of the craftsmanship, theme and elevated tone and theme of this lovely work.
QUITE IMPRESSIVE!
High notes of original and remarkable phrases-
* Loved this-
the peacefulness of all those hushed betweens,
or how anticipation ne'er confines.
*WOW-
when fingers touch the dye of tehelet.
* nice alliteration and assonance-
But please, do let me tell you just once more,
about my place of peace to ponder from;
* AWESOME LINE!
I go there through a portal, not a door,
whose entry stirs my own heart like a drum.
*TRUE OF THIS WORK---!
Within my own soliloquy serene,
a masterpiece of loving words is born;
*Intense-
Reality holds tasteless waves of crime,
sometimes I think it's there to badger me;
it takes my dreams and plays with them in mime,
I'd like to bury it beneath the sea.
*Lovely- and impacting:
or even in the gentle tapping keys
as words I write in rhyme for lover's sake.
You see I know that fantasy is real,
it's just another way to move about;
emotions then can scream in Braille to feel,
and love will recognize it with no doubt.
*NICE-
Such music sweet in stillness wafts on high
and I have learned to sit and ponder much;
'tis not the quiet here that answers why,
but more the time I take to think and touch.
*NICE-
Its promise now to me is understood,
in love one gives of self for all its worth;
in times of troubled stumbling blocks withstood,
then share the joy and wallow in such mirth.
****SPAG and minor SUGGESTIONS
*and that is what's important, don't you think. (?)
*This line sounds forced by reverse syntax--
god, how those sparkles there do me beguile,
*
Yes(,) all of this I see in quiet breeze,
*
Indulge me now(,) if you can spare the time,
*
and speak one time of portal('s) open view.
* Perchance you'll surely understand just why,(no ,)
such music sweet in stillness wafts on high.
Kudos. welcome back!
Please fix spag nits so my six stands tall. Most of the suggestions are optional, though.
Oh, forgot to mention you superb sill in using enjambment!
Bravo.
Love,
rd
reply by the author on 25-Sep-2010
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WOW!!! WOW WOW WOW WOW!
Superb! Outstanding.
Finely crafted!
Perfect meter--which is astounding in fifteen sonnets! Whew! Bravo!
Am giving this a six in spite of a small handful of spag nits (noted at end of review)--because of the craftsmanship, theme and elevated tone and theme of this lovely work.
QUITE IMPRESSIVE!
High notes of original and remarkable phrases-
* Loved this-
the peacefulness of all those hushed betweens,
or how anticipation ne'er confines.
*WOW-
when fingers touch the dye of tehelet.
* nice alliteration and assonance-
But please, do let me tell you just once more,
about my place of peace to ponder from;
* AWESOME LINE!
I go there through a portal, not a door,
whose entry stirs my own heart like a drum.
*TRUE OF THIS WORK---!
Within my own soliloquy serene,
a masterpiece of loving words is born;
*Intense-
Reality holds tasteless waves of crime,
sometimes I think it's there to badger me;
it takes my dreams and plays with them in mime,
I'd like to bury it beneath the sea.
*Lovely- and impacting:
or even in the gentle tapping keys
as words I write in rhyme for lover's sake.
You see I know that fantasy is real,
it's just another way to move about;
emotions then can scream in Braille to feel,
and love will recognize it with no doubt.
*NICE-
Such music sweet in stillness wafts on high
and I have learned to sit and ponder much;
'tis not the quiet here that answers why,
but more the time I take to think and touch.
*NICE-
Its promise now to me is understood,
in love one gives of self for all its worth;
in times of troubled stumbling blocks withstood,
then share the joy and wallow in such mirth.
****SPAG and minor SUGGESTIONS
*and that is what's important, don't you think. (?)
*This line sounds forced by reverse syntax--
god, how those sparkles there do me beguile,
*
Yes(,) all of this I see in quiet breeze,
*
Indulge me now(,) if you can spare the time,
*
and speak one time of portal('s) open view.
* Perchance you'll surely understand just why,(no ,)
such music sweet in stillness wafts on high.
Kudos. welcome back!
Please fix spag nits so my six stands tall. Most of the suggestions are optional, though.
Oh, forgot to mention you superb sill in using enjambment!
Bravo.
Love,
rd
Comment Written 25-Sep-2010
reply by the author on 25-Sep-2010
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Wow, now that was a review!!! Thanks you and for taking the time with it and paying attention to details. I'm amazed by your thoroughness here but thrilled at the depth. Again, thanks so much and I'll revisit it see what I think can be done. It was a massie effort to write this one. LOL. MUAHHHHHHHHHHHH.
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I would not have read all fifteen sonnets if they had not been so well written. Quite impressive. I also wrote a crown of sonnets, but only SEVEN. it took six hours.
Would love if you read it THE SPIRITUAL QUEST (posted long back)...as it is one of my best. (no need to review). MWAH! rd
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I shall read that. HOpe it's easy to find. Would love to see what you wrote of for 7 sonnets.
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Can send a link if you like. But it is listed in my portfolio
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Here's the link--
http://www.fanstory.com/displaystory.jsp?hd=1&id=320251
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Thanks for the link. Read it and love it!!!!
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Thanks dear!!!
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The pleasure was all mine!!!