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All Those Puzzling Pieces

Viewing comments for Chapter 14 "Alone in Paris"
What makes a life? How do the pieces fit?

77 total reviews 
Comment from wordsareus
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What a wonderful poem! The imagery that you use as well as the image you chose makes me feel like I am there in Paris with your characters. Well done.

 Comment Written 04-Oct-2012

reply by the author on 04-Oct-2012
    thanks so much words!
Comment from GWHARGIS
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Cold shower indeed. I might have to run around the block as well. This was a very lengthy seduction without any promises to call later. The lines about splitting the peach were really very subtle but packed a great big wallop. Nice job.

 Comment Written 04-Oct-2012

reply by the author on 04-Oct-2012
    thx so much GW - psst! want to come to Paris?
Comment from Kingsland
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This is not my kind of poem. But it really doesn't matter when it is written so very well and denotes its thoughts in a romantic tone as this one has. A good poem is a good poem.... John

 Comment Written 04-Oct-2012

reply by the author on 04-Oct-2012
    Not mine either John, but fun to try, yes? Thanks so much! Sharyn
Comment from missy98writer
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visionary1234,
I see why your pome won the contest. Your poem is marvelously written with romantic imagery painted by your words.
The art work you used is sexy.
Sensuality oozes down the poetry page.
You used excellent alliteration.
You used great metaphors.
I enjoyed your lines:
Alone, in Paris
as candles sputter
our hands linger, like butterflies
on honey'd flowers, you kiss my fingers
first with lips
then your tongue
just
the tip
Wow, erotic poem.
I'd recommend your red-hot free verse poem to other reviewers.
Congradulations on a desrved win.
Melissa.

 Comment Written 04-Oct-2012

reply by the author on 04-Oct-2012
    Thx Missy - this was fun to play with!
Comment from L.lora
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Interesting take on passion
and it's fruits. Your poem
is an easy read though I
would suggest that possibly
you might want to use the line
"you don't know me" a few less
times--it almost dampens the
spirit of passion that you are
working to build in your lines.
no nits or spags, good luck with
your contest. Lora

 Comment Written 04-Oct-2012

reply by the author on 04-Oct-2012
    Thx Ll - I'd wondered about that ... will take a closer look - it ended up "long" but it seemed to unfold that way. Happy to trim it though, as it had been one of my concerns.
Comment from artemis53
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Great piece of writing with Passion as the subject. I truly liked the flow and format and the nuances displayed between the two, "the violinist comes to our table, brings two roses
of scented velvet, drawn by our heat." Excellent entry.

 Comment Written 04-Oct-2012

reply by the author on 04-Oct-2012
    Thx Diane - this was a fun write - who could resist this kind of prompt?
Comment from Debbie7
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Hi. This actually happened to someone I know so I was able to relate. I loved the build up and repetition of the lines "alone in Paris and I don't know you" but you want to know and you don't want to be alone. For me, very passionate and very good. Debbie

 Comment Written 04-Oct-2012

reply by the author on 04-Oct-2012
    Thx so much Debbie - glad you enjoyed it!
Comment from cinnamongirl
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This was fabulous. I've been to Paris and I think I had this fantasy myself while I was there. Unfortunately I was on a choir pilgrimage with my church and my roommate was a nun :)
Anyway Ooh la la!

 Comment Written 04-Oct-2012

reply by the author on 04-Oct-2012
    Thx CG - ouch! church and roommate nun - I don't like your chances!!!
Comment from joann r romei
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I have been married for 25 years, so I can't relate to any of this, yet you did an excellent job with strangers in Paris having a wild evening. Good Luck

 Comment Written 04-Oct-2012

reply by the author on 04-Oct-2012
    All fiction joann - but a fun write! :) Sharyn
Comment from mshirachot
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LOL...this is steamy! I don't often review passion poems, but you followed the rules and did not make it tawdry. After the shower, I think I'll go have breakfast...all the succulant foods mentioned made me hungry! LOL

Loved the hot pink background, too!
Thanks for sharing and best wishes with the contest entry.
Blessings to you,
Marsha

 Comment Written 04-Oct-2012

reply by the author on 04-Oct-2012
    this was a fun write Marsha - how often do we get to do "steamy"? and in PARIS no less!?