CSP: A Collection of Poems
Viewing comments for Chapter 129 "Is it Possible"A collection of poetry
60 total reviews
Comment from rmdelta
Sue,
WOW! This is one of those I have to read 2 or 3 times but still can't understand part of it. Some makes perfect sense to me, other parts are far above my feeble mind that seldom can understand most poetry. Thank goodness you have many other readers as fans and they can tell you if this is written correctly or not. Me? I'm just taking the .94 cents and hiding. lol
Reggie
reply by the author on 12-Dec-2008
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Sue,
WOW! This is one of those I have to read 2 or 3 times but still can't understand part of it. Some makes perfect sense to me, other parts are far above my feeble mind that seldom can understand most poetry. Thank goodness you have many other readers as fans and they can tell you if this is written correctly or not. Me? I'm just taking the .94 cents and hiding. lol
Reggie
Comment Written 12-Dec-2008
reply by the author on 12-Dec-2008
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Reggie, I love you for your pilfering!!! And God bless that terribly feeble mind of yours. It must be "guilt-laden" for coming over to the poetry side and pick up easy dinero... For .94 cents, a 5-1/2 would have been a better bargain! HA!!
Comment from Algernon
It's free verse, because it didn't cost me a penny....
Blimey, quite some poem.
Many are alive, but dead to the beauty of the world.
I love running or just standing in the rain.
I wonder how many of this questions you ask, are rhetorical. It maybe easier to read with line breaks between each stanza. No-one knows what makes good poetry.
Some love and see the beauty watching the clouds race across the sky, or the smell of a farm yard as the cows plod across the road. To others they only see on coming rain, and being held up by the farmer.
Go with what floats your boat. Never fall in to the trap of writing against your heart....
I enjoyed looking in to your brain. Keep them coming. You enjoy thinking in a rich vein. So explore and see where the journey takes you. This is a very intelligent write. It makes the reader lament. I love the idea of throwing ones anger over the cliff. Keep doing that which you love.
reply by the author on 12-Dec-2008
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It's free verse, because it didn't cost me a penny....
Blimey, quite some poem.
Many are alive, but dead to the beauty of the world.
I love running or just standing in the rain.
I wonder how many of this questions you ask, are rhetorical. It maybe easier to read with line breaks between each stanza. No-one knows what makes good poetry.
Some love and see the beauty watching the clouds race across the sky, or the smell of a farm yard as the cows plod across the road. To others they only see on coming rain, and being held up by the farmer.
Go with what floats your boat. Never fall in to the trap of writing against your heart....
I enjoyed looking in to your brain. Keep them coming. You enjoy thinking in a rich vein. So explore and see where the journey takes you. This is a very intelligent write. It makes the reader lament. I love the idea of throwing ones anger over the cliff. Keep doing that which you love.
Comment Written 12-Dec-2008
reply by the author on 12-Dec-2008
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I am so glad I posted this. What a wonderful place to be; here with all of these writers who desire to see others thrive! These are most encouraging words. You just don't know how much. I will trust my instincts more. Yes, rama devi suggested I make the breaks also. I did and it is a much better read, so thank you for that also! Warmest regards, Sue
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Rama is ace. She taught me another way of using line breaks.
Just for one line. Yes you must just trust yourself, cos only you can ever see life like you do.....
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Just read Rama's review. She is a great one to learn from, her review is tops....
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And YOU'RE ace! Thank you so much for caring so much and taking your time to be so encouraging!!
mmmwwwwaaahhhhhh!!!
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(Andy, blushes.)
Comment from Domino
Hi, Sue.
I'm not a lover of most free verse and you may have noticed the sarcastic contest I just created on the genre. I find too many prose writes are classified as poetet, though I guess I'm in the minority as many seem to think anything can be called poetry. I undertsand that 'proper' free should incorporate a sprinkle of rhyme, some alliteration, metaphors and dramatic repetition. That is just an opinion that I agree with. I asls think it should present well, but your one continuous verse is unattractive and quite formidable, IMHO.
Plenty of wonderful metaphors and repetition. Gotta be honest and say this read very easily, despite my format comments. Some familiar questions and some highly original and sensitive musings. Fabulous ending makes this an excellent write, IMHO. I enjoyed it and you seem to have a flair for the genre.
Best wishes, Ray xx
reply by the author on 12-Dec-2008
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Hi, Sue.
I'm not a lover of most free verse and you may have noticed the sarcastic contest I just created on the genre. I find too many prose writes are classified as poetet, though I guess I'm in the minority as many seem to think anything can be called poetry. I undertsand that 'proper' free should incorporate a sprinkle of rhyme, some alliteration, metaphors and dramatic repetition. That is just an opinion that I agree with. I asls think it should present well, but your one continuous verse is unattractive and quite formidable, IMHO.
Plenty of wonderful metaphors and repetition. Gotta be honest and say this read very easily, despite my format comments. Some familiar questions and some highly original and sensitive musings. Fabulous ending makes this an excellent write, IMHO. I enjoyed it and you seem to have a flair for the genre.
Best wishes, Ray xx
Comment Written 12-Dec-2008
reply by the author on 12-Dec-2008
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Ray, I love your sarcastic contest! How could we live without poking fun at ourselves??!!! rama devi gave the suggestion to provide breaks between each posed question. It looks and reads SO much better! If you have 5 seconds, a 2nd glance and a comment by you would be appreciated (especially since you don't care for free verse!). Ha!! Thanks so much for this review and your very encouraging words! :-) Sue
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That looks so much easier on the eye now, Sue. One minor suggestion, perhaps a ? Question mark in the title. Ray xx
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Thought about that one, Ray and just was not sure/as I'm still not.
Thanks for highlighting that, though. You picked up on one of my own sticky points!
xx
Sue
Comment from honeytree
Yes everything think about can be possible. The words written here were truly written so well. The writer has written very beautiful words that are ones of truth, guilt and learning and a loss of someone.
"Is is possible to
fly from the
mundane to the
extraordinary?
To lean over a
cliff's edge and
scream; watching
the anger spill
into the canyon?
To leave
expectations of
others behind,
while being deaf
and blind to those
pleas and needs?"
To brush off
guilt, as
specks on a
jacket's lapel?
To forget the
meaning of an
unfilled heart?
To only hear
words which
flame the soul?
To run in the rain,
as each drop
spills joy?
To swim the ocean
as it swallows."
These are some of the beautiful words written by the writer and described beautifully of certain imagining situations that may happen in one's life and some decisions are difficult to make and some not.
Honeytree.
(Is (is) should be (it) possible.
Within our mind we can imagine evrything written here.
Our imagination is capable of any visualisation if we allow or mind to imagine situations.Our mind can imagine all these things within our mind and imagination.
Honeytree.
reply by the author on 12-Dec-2008
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Yes everything think about can be possible. The words written here were truly written so well. The writer has written very beautiful words that are ones of truth, guilt and learning and a loss of someone.
"Is is possible to
fly from the
mundane to the
extraordinary?
To lean over a
cliff's edge and
scream; watching
the anger spill
into the canyon?
To leave
expectations of
others behind,
while being deaf
and blind to those
pleas and needs?"
To brush off
guilt, as
specks on a
jacket's lapel?
To forget the
meaning of an
unfilled heart?
To only hear
words which
flame the soul?
To run in the rain,
as each drop
spills joy?
To swim the ocean
as it swallows."
These are some of the beautiful words written by the writer and described beautifully of certain imagining situations that may happen in one's life and some decisions are difficult to make and some not.
Honeytree.
(Is (is) should be (it) possible.
Within our mind we can imagine evrything written here.
Our imagination is capable of any visualisation if we allow or mind to imagine situations.Our mind can imagine all these things within our mind and imagination.
Honeytree.
Comment Written 12-Dec-2008
reply by the author on 12-Dec-2008
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Honeytree, I always look forward to your reviews, as your words are always so encouraging. Thank you so much for this very kind review and all your lovely words. :-) Sue
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I love reading your words very much. Honeytree.
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I am glad you liked this review. honeytree
Comment from Hitcher
wow! You are kidding me, this is your first attempt at free verse? I don't do and will probably never do free verse because I love the rhyme, but friend that was very nice to read and you once again went for visual power and more than succeeded.
To have one's hunger fed by another's hungry mouth?
To find one'self by getting lost in rapture?
I'm very, very impressed Sue. How could one critique that, I know I couldn't! I just check if I had a 6 left in the bank, unfortunately I do not otherwise you would have it.
To lean over a cliff edge and scream;
watching anger spill over into the canyon.
Brilliant!
You dark horse you!
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wow! You are kidding me, this is your first attempt at free verse? I don't do and will probably never do free verse because I love the rhyme, but friend that was very nice to read and you once again went for visual power and more than succeeded.
To have one's hunger fed by another's hungry mouth?
To find one'self by getting lost in rapture?
I'm very, very impressed Sue. How could one critique that, I know I couldn't! I just check if I had a 6 left in the bank, unfortunately I do not otherwise you would have it.
To lean over a cliff edge and scream;
watching anger spill over into the canyon.
Brilliant!
You dark horse you!
Comment Written 12-Dec-2008
Comment from Joan E.
I enjoyed your reflections and thought the questions were very effective.
My favorite phrases, which were all very evocative were: lean over a cliff's edge and scream; flame the soul; rest the mind; ...in another language. I also enjoyed the metaphor about guilt (I think line 17 should read "as if it were...").
Thanks for sharing your experiment--keep them coming.
Revision: I think the adjustment makes the line stronger.
reply by the author on 12-Dec-2008
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I enjoyed your reflections and thought the questions were very effective.
My favorite phrases, which were all very evocative were: lean over a cliff's edge and scream; flame the soul; rest the mind; ...in another language. I also enjoyed the metaphor about guilt (I think line 17 should read "as if it were...").
Thanks for sharing your experiment--keep them coming.
Revision: I think the adjustment makes the line stronger.
Comment Written 12-Dec-2008
reply by the author on 12-Dec-2008
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Joan, so glad you highlighted those phrases you liked. Really special to know they resonate. And thanks very much for your comment on line 17. It brought to my attention that it was too wordy, so I pared it down to "To brush off guilt, as specks on a jacket's lapel". (took out "the guilt" and "as it"). Much cleaner. Thanks for your help!
Your very kind review is so appreciated!
With regards,
Sue
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I'm pleased that I could be useful, and I agree that the line is now stronger.
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So glad you went back for a peek! Thanks so much. It IS much better and I thank you.
Sue
Comment from Caitlin
Thoroughly enjoyable! Well done! I love the pace of the poem, and the fact that the narrator is asking these questions of the audience. Your use of imagery is gorgeous, and I especially love the sentence
"To have one's hunger fed by another's hungry mouth?"
It cerainly does appear to be free verse :) Great work and I'd love to see more.
reply by the author on 11-Dec-2008
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Thoroughly enjoyable! Well done! I love the pace of the poem, and the fact that the narrator is asking these questions of the audience. Your use of imagery is gorgeous, and I especially love the sentence
"To have one's hunger fed by another's hungry mouth?"
It cerainly does appear to be free verse :) Great work and I'd love to see more.
Comment Written 11-Dec-2008
reply by the author on 11-Dec-2008
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I am SO pleased you liked this. And thank you for highlighting that phrase you liked (actually one of my favs - ha!). I really appreciate your very kind review! With regards, Sue
Comment from Janilou
To walk in the
desert and not
be parched?
To sleep with
dreams of color
that rest the mind?
To have silence
yet still hear
the loud
cries of passion?
I love this poem. Sorry, but my review is not going to offer any critique, because I found nothing wrong here. It is excellent free verse, and you should be proud of it.
Very well done.
Very profound.
Jan
reply by the author on 11-Dec-2008
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To walk in the
desert and not
be parched?
To sleep with
dreams of color
that rest the mind?
To have silence
yet still hear
the loud
cries of passion?
I love this poem. Sorry, but my review is not going to offer any critique, because I found nothing wrong here. It is excellent free verse, and you should be proud of it.
Very well done.
Very profound.
Jan
Comment Written 11-Dec-2008
reply by the author on 11-Dec-2008
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Well, I've been told 3 times now that it is good free verse and I'm NOT going to argue!! HA!!! I'm SO happy you liked this work! It means so much. With warmest regards, Sue
Comment from chaswriter
Sue - Yes, that is free verse. Me thinks you ask too many questions. LOL. You must be a deep thinker. Enjoyed the read though I must admit that it's getting too late to do much thinking. Later, Charlie.
reply by the author on 11-Dec-2008
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Sue - Yes, that is free verse. Me thinks you ask too many questions. LOL. You must be a deep thinker. Enjoyed the read though I must admit that it's getting too late to do much thinking. Later, Charlie.
Comment Written 11-Dec-2008
reply by the author on 11-Dec-2008
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Deep thinker? Moi??? A deep thinker??? Oh, yeah...forgot...I'm cursed with that. (sigh). This poetry thing is going to either be my upside or my downfall!!! I love it so much. :-) Sue
Comment from Curt Mongold
It's free verse cuz. It has a very nice cadence to it, and the anaphora is quite evident. I think this is a wonderful piece of free verse, and I'll have words with anyone who says different!
Sincerly,
Curt
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reply by the author on 11-Dec-2008
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It's free verse cuz. It has a very nice cadence to it, and the anaphora is quite evident. I think this is a wonderful piece of free verse, and I'll have words with anyone who says different!
Sincerly,
Curt
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 11-Dec-2008
reply by the author on 11-Dec-2008
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Curt, I really appreciate your comments on the anaphora, as I wasn't sure if it was a bit too much. But, hey, it's what I felt! Thanks for your comments on the cadence, also. And for your lovely review (and watching my back LOL) - Sue