CSP: A Collection of Poems
Viewing comments for Chapter 141 "Depression"A collection of poetry
76 total reviews
Comment from LateBloomer
Hello Sixteezkid,
You did a very good job with this Acrostic poem. Your message is clear - good word choices and flow. I particularly liked the following:
Senses numbed
(This is the essence of depression)
Keep writing. Regards, LateBloomer
reply by the author on 30-Nov-2008
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Hello Sixteezkid,
You did a very good job with this Acrostic poem. Your message is clear - good word choices and flow. I particularly liked the following:
Senses numbed
(This is the essence of depression)
Keep writing. Regards, LateBloomer
Comment Written 30-Nov-2008
reply by the author on 30-Nov-2008
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LateBloomer, thank you for your very kind review and comments. And for highlighting those words you liked, as this is part of what keeps me encouraged to write! With regards, Sue
Comment from WordPainter
First part gives an image of what a depressed mind might be like from inside, last lines show sensible approach to dealing with impression. My favorite line is this:
"Ought not feed their demands"
Artwork matches this poem well.
blessings,
Lois
reply by the author on 30-Nov-2008
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First part gives an image of what a depressed mind might be like from inside, last lines show sensible approach to dealing with impression. My favorite line is this:
"Ought not feed their demands"
Artwork matches this poem well.
blessings,
Lois
Comment Written 30-Nov-2008
reply by the author on 30-Nov-2008
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WordPainter, thanks so much for your very kind review. And for your specific comments. Glad you highlighted the line you liked. With regards, Sue
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My pleasure,
Lois
Comment from writerjen
Good acrostic poem on depression. Descriptive language throughout this poem. Good vocabulary choices, painted a picture with words. Well done.
reply by the author on 30-Nov-2008
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Good acrostic poem on depression. Descriptive language throughout this poem. Good vocabulary choices, painted a picture with words. Well done.
Comment Written 30-Nov-2008
reply by the author on 30-Nov-2008
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Writerjen, thank you for your very kind review and specific comments. With regards Sue
Comment from amada
Great acrostyc using very strong words to denote the sad effects of that sickness called depression. These two lines are very powerful "Senses numbed... crafty lies
In webs spun by my hands."
reply by the author on 30-Nov-2008
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Great acrostyc using very strong words to denote the sad effects of that sickness called depression. These two lines are very powerful "Senses numbed... crafty lies
In webs spun by my hands."
Comment Written 30-Nov-2008
reply by the author on 30-Nov-2008
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Amada, thanks for your very kind review. Glad you liked this work. With regards, Sue
Comment from chaswriter
Sue - What a gloomy, dreary message in your poem. I got depressed reading it. You describe depression to a tee. I enjoyed the read though I feel that I need to find a lighter poem to balance it out. LOL. Charlie.
reply by the author on 30-Nov-2008
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Sue - What a gloomy, dreary message in your poem. I got depressed reading it. You describe depression to a tee. I enjoyed the read though I feel that I need to find a lighter poem to balance it out. LOL. Charlie.
Comment Written 30-Nov-2008
reply by the author on 30-Nov-2008
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Definitely, go read some of Hitcher's work!! Ha! That'll change your frame of mind. Isn't this a disgusting, dark scene?!!! Thanks for your review and glad you wanted to "love it and leave it". LOL Sue
Comment from mmichelle97219
The structure is fine for an acrostic, but the flow is a little too choppy so it does not read as poetically as it should. I recommend writing to a beat in your head. That would really smooth it out.
Michelle
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The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
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The structure is fine for an acrostic, but the flow is a little too choppy so it does not read as poetically as it should. I recommend writing to a beat in your head. That would really smooth it out.
Michelle
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 30-Nov-2008
Comment from mamre07
Thanks for using my art and this is a really good poem with much imagery. The message of the characteristics of depression is clear.
reply by the author on 30-Nov-2008
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Thanks for using my art and this is a really good poem with much imagery. The message of the characteristics of depression is clear.
Comment Written 30-Nov-2008
reply by the author on 30-Nov-2008
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So glad you like your work accompanying the poem! Thank you for your review and comments. Sincerely, Sue
Comment from KYPollard/El Gato
Very good description of depression. You expressed your message well even with the limitations given. I found no errors while reading. Good job.
reply by the author on 30-Nov-2008
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Very good description of depression. You expressed your message well even with the limitations given. I found no errors while reading. Good job.
Comment Written 30-Nov-2008
reply by the author on 30-Nov-2008
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El Gato, thank you for your review and comments. Very much appreciated......Sue
Comment from rmdelta
Sue,
wow, you did it again. another beautiful writing, so sweet and so sly. You use your wonderful gift in the way it was meant. Touching people with your great use of words. Well done, Sue.
Reggie
reply by the author on 30-Nov-2008
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Sue,
wow, you did it again. another beautiful writing, so sweet and so sly. You use your wonderful gift in the way it was meant. Touching people with your great use of words. Well done, Sue.
Reggie
Comment Written 30-Nov-2008
reply by the author on 30-Nov-2008
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Reggie, thanks so much! Very kind words and a review that I most appreciate. Glad you liked it. With warmest regards, Sue
Comment from Signaler
Hi Sixteezkid, I can't say I liked this poem the first time I read it. When that happens, I have to go back and read, tell myself why I didn't. I read it again and again. Finally it hit me that I do not like the feeling of Depression and in that respect, your poem gave me those feelings. I began to see the erratic tone of it and knew that was why I didn't like it. Ummmm, Great Job!
Angels to Watch over You,
As Always, Signaler
reply by the author on 30-Nov-2008
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Hi Sixteezkid, I can't say I liked this poem the first time I read it. When that happens, I have to go back and read, tell myself why I didn't. I read it again and again. Finally it hit me that I do not like the feeling of Depression and in that respect, your poem gave me those feelings. I began to see the erratic tone of it and knew that was why I didn't like it. Ummmm, Great Job!
Angels to Watch over You,
As Always, Signaler
Comment Written 30-Nov-2008
reply by the author on 30-Nov-2008
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Signaler, thank you so much for your honesty! So glad you went back to read it. I made it a 5-6-6-6-5 in the first 5 lines and then repeated. Being an acrostic, I had to keep all lines together. Kind of weird, but it worked for me. Ha! Thanks again for your review and glad you liked it! With regards, Sue