F-f-fu- Dy-yam! She-ut!
I'll do it later50 total reviews
Comment from Phyllis Stewart
Bummer. What a fix. But why do you want a formulaic ending like a thousand other stories? I wouldn't do it. I'd make the ending something different entirely, a pleasnt surprise for readers who are all too familiar with the final fifteen minutes of an action movie, where Good Guy and Bad Guy end up going higher and higher on a tower until one must destroy the other or fall to his death. Or... Bad Guy drops his gun but Good Guy is too friggin stupid to pick it up, so the fight drags on needlessly for another ten minutes with loud background music. And countless "filler" events that are supposed to be exciting, but we've seen them all before and are not impressed. In fact, we're wondering why we bought a ticket... or the book.
As you just said, they fight and fight and fight and the reader/viewer is supposed to bite his/her nails wondering who will win. Duh. We KNOW Good Guy will win. When I get to that part, I fast forward thru or make a sandwich.
Do you REALLY want to use an ending that is so predictable and, frankly, boring because of it? Someone was first to write THAT ending, and now every bozo copies it and claims to be a writer. Jay, you ARE creative. You ARE a writer. You're better than that.
How about coming up with totally new ending, one using psychology instead of weapons? I haven't read the story, or I might be able to make suggestions. Before rewriting a lot of the book to get to the millionth version of the "standard" ending, why not WRITE a new one.
Not asking for goody-two-shoes here, just something a bit more cerebral. THAT would be a great twist ending. It would give your Bad Guy character some dimension, rather than have him be another 100% evil guy with no sense at all.
reply by the author on 16-Aug-2016
  |
Bummer. What a fix. But why do you want a formulaic ending like a thousand other stories? I wouldn't do it. I'd make the ending something different entirely, a pleasnt surprise for readers who are all too familiar with the final fifteen minutes of an action movie, where Good Guy and Bad Guy end up going higher and higher on a tower until one must destroy the other or fall to his death. Or... Bad Guy drops his gun but Good Guy is too friggin stupid to pick it up, so the fight drags on needlessly for another ten minutes with loud background music. And countless "filler" events that are supposed to be exciting, but we've seen them all before and are not impressed. In fact, we're wondering why we bought a ticket... or the book.
As you just said, they fight and fight and fight and the reader/viewer is supposed to bite his/her nails wondering who will win. Duh. We KNOW Good Guy will win. When I get to that part, I fast forward thru or make a sandwich.
Do you REALLY want to use an ending that is so predictable and, frankly, boring because of it? Someone was first to write THAT ending, and now every bozo copies it and claims to be a writer. Jay, you ARE creative. You ARE a writer. You're better than that.
How about coming up with totally new ending, one using psychology instead of weapons? I haven't read the story, or I might be able to make suggestions. Before rewriting a lot of the book to get to the millionth version of the "standard" ending, why not WRITE a new one.
Not asking for goody-two-shoes here, just something a bit more cerebral. THAT would be a great twist ending. It would give your Bad Guy character some dimension, rather than have him be another 100% evil guy with no sense at all.
Comment Written 16-Aug-2016
reply by the author on 16-Aug-2016
-
Thank you for taking the time to give me a thoughtful review. Phyllis, I don't write cookie cutter plots, populated by formulaic characters. I think you know that from what you've read of some of my other writing.
I was trying to be light and humorous in my post since I have a large number of readers who are disappointed that I'm stalling this story here, but would be vastly MORE disappointed if I carried on in the direction my novel was going.
I do appreciate your comments, though.
Jay
-
So, do you or did you plan to end with a fight scene where Good Guy defeats Bad Guy? Sure sounds like it. So my advice stands.
I'd rather see Good Guy trick Bad Guy, so Bad Guy looks like a fool and doesn't get the satisfaction of harming Good Guy at all. Good Guy always survives, but often injured. I'd have him win by brains instead of brawn. The best way to win a fight is to prevent it. Just lock up Bad Guy for life and let him live with his shame of defeat.
Comment from LIJ Red
I read somewhere that in old Greek plays, matters would be taken to the point where an actor playing Zeus would lowered onto the stage and sort things out. The hoist used to lower the god was the machine...deus ex machina...I think you're on the right track, Jay. Besides, what would FS be without Jay and Doctrex? Bring back Axtilla, too...
reply by the author on 16-Aug-2016
|
I read somewhere that in old Greek plays, matters would be taken to the point where an actor playing Zeus would lowered onto the stage and sort things out. The hoist used to lower the god was the machine...deus ex machina...I think you're on the right track, Jay. Besides, what would FS be without Jay and Doctrex? Bring back Axtilla, too...
Comment Written 16-Aug-2016
reply by the author on 16-Aug-2016
-
Thanks, Red. I'm going to strengthen the relationship between Axtilla and Doctrex. But I've got to make a more organically sound ending.
Comment from barkingdog
Beware of Gods. They trump Wizards.
But Wizards when left to their own world without a God's meddling, sort things out on their own.
A God should be busy doing more important things like tending to wars, epidemics, making planets and odd new creatures.
Kyre can always leave.
Good luck with this.Suggestions: 1. Write your ending and then write toward it. I found that worked when I had strong characters come into my Trilogy. New characters bring interest but shouldn't take over the story.
2. It might not be where you were going, but God's can be destroyed. It might take a combined effort. The estranged brothers form an alliance, destroy or banish Kyre, but in the effort( a huge battle) one or both are wounded. Only Ruether survives.
:) e
reply by the author on 16-Aug-2016
|
Beware of Gods. They trump Wizards.
But Wizards when left to their own world without a God's meddling, sort things out on their own.
A God should be busy doing more important things like tending to wars, epidemics, making planets and odd new creatures.
Kyre can always leave.
Good luck with this.Suggestions: 1. Write your ending and then write toward it. I found that worked when I had strong characters come into my Trilogy. New characters bring interest but shouldn't take over the story.
2. It might not be where you were going, but God's can be destroyed. It might take a combined effort. The estranged brothers form an alliance, destroy or banish Kyre, but in the effort( a huge battle) one or both are wounded. Only Ruether survives.
:) e
Comment Written 16-Aug-2016
reply by the author on 16-Aug-2016
-
Ellen, thank you so much, especially for the suggestion of writing the ending first. That's one of many things I'll be considering. I like that about Gods being destroyed! Ha!
Comment from giraffmang
Hi Jay,
Now it is very peculiar that I read this this morning as only a few hours ago I was pondering on the fact you hadn't posted.
I am sort of in the same boat at you, my friend. My book is about half way through and I realised the other day that a had made some decisions that were pushing me in a very distinct way. Almost writing myself into a corner which would require manipulation and some 'forced' scenarios. Thankfully I caught it in time after a little hiatus from the book when I reread it and my original notes / story boards.
Teach me to be more vigilant! Or perhaps I should stick to rattling out the short stories.
Good luck with the revisions
G
is left me to massage - has left me?
reply by the author on 16-Aug-2016
|
Hi Jay,
Now it is very peculiar that I read this this morning as only a few hours ago I was pondering on the fact you hadn't posted.
I am sort of in the same boat at you, my friend. My book is about half way through and I realised the other day that a had made some decisions that were pushing me in a very distinct way. Almost writing myself into a corner which would require manipulation and some 'forced' scenarios. Thankfully I caught it in time after a little hiatus from the book when I reread it and my original notes / story boards.
Teach me to be more vigilant! Or perhaps I should stick to rattling out the short stories.
Good luck with the revisions
G
is left me to massage - has left me?
Comment Written 16-Aug-2016
reply by the author on 16-Aug-2016
-
Thanks for reading and understanding, G. I can see where you'd think it was "has left me" but actually, what I was getting at (in that awkward sentence): "I find the less wiggle room, or tweakability, is left [for] me to massage the adjustments ..." I was hoping the meaning would come through without the "for".]
Thanks again, G.
Comment from Giddy Nielsen-Sweep
Well, you had me wondering what this was all about, Jay. It's nice to know I'm not the only one going back to the beginning, although mine is not exactly in the same league and is not a novel and I'm not going back for the same reason. I hope you don't make us wait too long, like it will be this year, won't it? Giddy
reply by the author on 16-Aug-2016
|
Well, you had me wondering what this was all about, Jay. It's nice to know I'm not the only one going back to the beginning, although mine is not exactly in the same league and is not a novel and I'm not going back for the same reason. I hope you don't make us wait too long, like it will be this year, won't it? Giddy
Comment Written 16-Aug-2016
reply by the author on 16-Aug-2016
-
I really can't say when it will be, Giddy. I realize I'll lose a lot of readers if I wait too long ... and I know the ending will be different from where I was heading. I may have to go back five or six chapters (that have already been posted) to get a running start to the climax.
-
Take your time ... the end result is what's important. :)
Comment from Marvin Calloway
It takes a special man to admit all of the above to his loyal readers, of which, I am ashamed to admit, not been one. What I have learned from checking in from time to time, is that you, of all writers, can do what is necessary to achieve your goal, and, in so doing, reach near perfection.
Instead of merely entertaining your readers you will have provided them with a valuable lesson. This should be a source of pride for you and offset much of your disappointment.
Marv
reply by the author on 16-Aug-2016
|
It takes a special man to admit all of the above to his loyal readers, of which, I am ashamed to admit, not been one. What I have learned from checking in from time to time, is that you, of all writers, can do what is necessary to achieve your goal, and, in so doing, reach near perfection.
Instead of merely entertaining your readers you will have provided them with a valuable lesson. This should be a source of pride for you and offset much of your disappointment.
Marv
Comment Written 15-Aug-2016
reply by the author on 16-Aug-2016
-
Awww, thank you, Marvin. It was a difficult decision and I really feel bad about letting down a lot of loyal readers, but the book has to come first. I'm glad you're understanding.
-
I'll share this reply with Mel.
-
Good, cause he's been waiting for my response. LOL.
Comment from Susanne M. Psyris
It truly is no easy task to go back and rewrite, edit, compare situations from one to another book to ascertain that they are not contradicting each other, etc. I know. I have done this so many times. I am curious as to what the Trining is about. I will have to wait, I guess, till you re-release it in its revised state. Good luck. God bless and hugs, Susanne
reply by the author on 16-Aug-2016
|
It truly is no easy task to go back and rewrite, edit, compare situations from one to another book to ascertain that they are not contradicting each other, etc. I know. I have done this so many times. I am curious as to what the Trining is about. I will have to wait, I guess, till you re-release it in its revised state. Good luck. God bless and hugs, Susanne
Comment Written 15-Aug-2016
reply by the author on 16-Aug-2016
-
Thank you for understanding, Susanne.
Comment from Irish Rain
I've been there, with that head of feathers, I can so relate to this. I haven't followed 'The Trining'...but I can understand being stuck like this, and having to go back, OR be less than happy, and you've worked too hard for that. Blessings to you ...it will work out!
reply by the author on 16-Aug-2016
|
I've been there, with that head of feathers, I can so relate to this. I haven't followed 'The Trining'...but I can understand being stuck like this, and having to go back, OR be less than happy, and you've worked too hard for that. Blessings to you ...it will work out!
Comment Written 15-Aug-2016
reply by the author on 16-Aug-2016
-
I'm so happy you understand and can appreciate my dilemma, Judy. Thank you.
-
I started writing a children's book 5 years ago, that had Jesus in it, (eating pizza, no less)....now my views have changed, I find it hard to pass on what I don't believe....I'd have to change the whole beginning...so....there it sits, ha ha. I understand.
Comment from Jacqueline M Franklin
Hi, Jay
= Having a tad bit of trouble bringing it all-together, huh?
= I believe we've all reached a point of should I go this way or that way in novel?
= I've have faith in--you'll get 'er done in Jay Squires style.
= JUST be KIND to my Doctrex. I'd hate have to come to Bakersfield and call you out, pard. (*<*)
<> A Smile Is A Frown Turned Upside-down (*>*)
<> Cheers & Blessings <> Jax
<> Published as <> Jacqueline M Franklin
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 16-Aug-2016
|
Hi, Jay
= Having a tad bit of trouble bringing it all-together, huh?
= I believe we've all reached a point of should I go this way or that way in novel?
= I've have faith in--you'll get 'er done in Jay Squires style.
= JUST be KIND to my Doctrex. I'd hate have to come to Bakersfield and call you out, pard. (*<*)
<> A Smile Is A Frown Turned Upside-down (*>*)
<> Cheers & Blessings <> Jax
<> Published as <> Jacqueline M Franklin
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 15-Aug-2016
reply by the author on 16-Aug-2016
-
No, Doctrex will emerge much stronger, as will his earlier relationship with Axtilla.
Comment from davisr (Rhonda)
I understand having to go back and rebuild a part of a long novel. The problem I've found is that you have to change many other places along the way. It's sort of a ripple effect. Now, having to do that with a trilogy would have to be a nightmare, so I feel for you. I know, however, that you are up to it.
I, along with many other, look forward to seeing how our protagonist kicks immortal booty.
Good luck!
Rhonda
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 16-Aug-2016
|
I understand having to go back and rebuild a part of a long novel. The problem I've found is that you have to change many other places along the way. It's sort of a ripple effect. Now, having to do that with a trilogy would have to be a nightmare, so I feel for you. I know, however, that you are up to it.
I, along with many other, look forward to seeing how our protagonist kicks immortal booty.
Good luck!
Rhonda
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 15-Aug-2016
reply by the author on 16-Aug-2016
-
Thank you, Rhonda. I've been waiting to receive your understanding. I know it's going to be work but I'm persistent. I appreciate your support.
-
I wrote it so late last night I was afraid I wasn't making too much sense, but apparently I got my message across, so good.
I had one book all tied up nicely, and decided to add another element, which was fine, and I liked the layer, but it took me forever to incorporate it. Of course, other things are easier to insert. Have fun with that!
Rhonda
