Tantalizing Eyes
Viewing comments for Chapter 42 "Chapter 12; part 1"Dishonesty VS Love. Which will win?
76 total reviews
Comment from Jonez08
Great chapter, Barbara. I see the lovers has gone from bliss to turmoil. Leya's father is a horrible person. This creates great tension, as romance stories should. Good going. I'm really enjoying this story and look forward to more
Steven paced his apartment floor(,) before he called Matt and listened as Matt asked, "Is Leya all right?"
(not needed)
Steven took a deep breath(,) before he continued
(not needed)
If she's anything like Dani, she'll eventually get to the point.
(LOL..too funny)
"I knew he'd risk his career for me but ( )still used him
(something's missing here. should it be: (I) still used him?)
Cassandra
reply by the author on 11-Apr-2010
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Great chapter, Barbara. I see the lovers has gone from bliss to turmoil. Leya's father is a horrible person. This creates great tension, as romance stories should. Good going. I'm really enjoying this story and look forward to more
Steven paced his apartment floor(,) before he called Matt and listened as Matt asked, "Is Leya all right?"
(not needed)
Steven took a deep breath(,) before he continued
(not needed)
If she's anything like Dani, she'll eventually get to the point.
(LOL..too funny)
"I knew he'd risk his career for me but ( )still used him
(something's missing here. should it be: (I) still used him?)
Cassandra
Comment Written 11-Apr-2010
reply by the author on 11-Apr-2010
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Thank you for your review. I will take a look a those areas.
Comment from mjfande
Another excellent chapter. I liked that Leya was able to explain her reasons to Matt. It will be interesting to see how Steven gets and takes this information. I look forward to reading the next chapter.
reply by the author on 11-Apr-2010
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Another excellent chapter. I liked that Leya was able to explain her reasons to Matt. It will be interesting to see how Steven gets and takes this information. I look forward to reading the next chapter.
Comment Written 11-Apr-2010
reply by the author on 11-Apr-2010
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Thank you for your kind words.
Comment from Angelite
Great continuation of this story.
poor Steven, licking his wounds for nothing.
well written, clear dialogue
no obvious snags that i could detect.
Angel
reply by the author on 11-Apr-2010
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Great continuation of this story.
poor Steven, licking his wounds for nothing.
well written, clear dialogue
no obvious snags that i could detect.
Angel
Comment Written 11-Apr-2010
reply by the author on 11-Apr-2010
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Thank you for your kind words.
Comment from Donna Thompson
congratulations on your recognition ribbon you deserve it as this is a nicely done piece with no spags and flows well. detail is there and it is an interesting tale
reply by the author on 11-Apr-2010
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congratulations on your recognition ribbon you deserve it as this is a nicely done piece with no spags and flows well. detail is there and it is an interesting tale
Comment Written 11-Apr-2010
reply by the author on 11-Apr-2010
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Thank you for your kind words.
Comment from fluffnstuff
You write just like an author to a paperback novel, I swear! Now I'm getting hooked into the story. It is punctuated properly, spelling idoublechecked and I feel you better get going on the next xhapter,'cause I've got to find out what happens (tee-hee)
reply by the author on 11-Apr-2010
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You write just like an author to a paperback novel, I swear! Now I'm getting hooked into the story. It is punctuated properly, spelling idoublechecked and I feel you better get going on the next xhapter,'cause I've got to find out what happens (tee-hee)
Comment Written 11-Apr-2010
reply by the author on 11-Apr-2010
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Thank you for your kind review.
Comment from Readywriter52
I do understand why Leya sent the letter to her father. I don't understand Steven's reaction. It doesn't make sense. I would think he would have been a little more understanding. He does love her.
reply by the author on 11-Apr-2010
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I do understand why Leya sent the letter to her father. I don't understand Steven's reaction. It doesn't make sense. I would think he would have been a little more understanding. He does love her.
Comment Written 11-Apr-2010
reply by the author on 11-Apr-2010
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Steven never trusted Leya from the beginning and this just adds fuel to this fire. Thank you for your review.
Comment from bob cullen
Your writing always leave me the same way. I want to read more.
As always it's flawless. The characters are drawn so well, the dialogue is apt and it all goes so well together.
I believe you are one of the better writers on this site and in my opinion more than good enough to be published and successful.
Great work
reply by the author on 11-Apr-2010
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Your writing always leave me the same way. I want to read more.
As always it's flawless. The characters are drawn so well, the dialogue is apt and it all goes so well together.
I believe you are one of the better writers on this site and in my opinion more than good enough to be published and successful.
Great work
Comment Written 11-Apr-2010
reply by the author on 11-Apr-2010
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Thank you for your kind words.
Comment from L.lora
This was a very well penned
excellent addition to your
storyline. Your descriptions
and explanations are well thought
out and very realistic given the
situations. The dialogues compliment
the storyline as they should. no nits
or spags, looking forward to your next
post. Lora
reply by the author on 11-Apr-2010
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This was a very well penned
excellent addition to your
storyline. Your descriptions
and explanations are well thought
out and very realistic given the
situations. The dialogues compliment
the storyline as they should. no nits
or spags, looking forward to your next
post. Lora
Comment Written 11-Apr-2010
reply by the author on 11-Apr-2010
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Thank you for your kind words.
Comment from fictionwriter
Well guys can be really stubborn. There's no telling how Steven will feel not that Leya has sent the papers. I'm glad she did it, now maybe they'll leave her alone. Great job.
reply by the author on 10-Apr-2010
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Well guys can be really stubborn. There's no telling how Steven will feel not that Leya has sent the papers. I'm glad she did it, now maybe they'll leave her alone. Great job.
Comment Written 10-Apr-2010
reply by the author on 10-Apr-2010
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I know men are so unpredictable and really don't make a lot of sense. Thank you for your kind review.
Comment from Begin Again
Barbara,
Ampther wonderful chapter in your saga of love and life...Very well written and presented to the reader. I enjoyed it as usual.
smiles, Carol
reply by the author on 10-Apr-2010
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Barbara,
Ampther wonderful chapter in your saga of love and life...Very well written and presented to the reader. I enjoyed it as usual.
smiles, Carol
Comment Written 10-Apr-2010
reply by the author on 10-Apr-2010
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Thank you for your support and review. I appreciate both.