CSP: A Collection of Poems
Viewing comments for Chapter 106 "Hey Kids, You're the Best!"A collection of poetry
41 total reviews
Comment from Jazh
What a beautiful poem! And such a difficult mandate, that contest (it daunted me rather!). Your rhymes are good, and mostly unforced (hard with the line by line requirements). I don't know if I can suggest alternatives, but here goes...what about leaving out "[to know] their own way" in stanza 2 - just my thought. You have all the right virtues in your kids, obviously. Good luck with the contest. :)
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 10-Jan-2009
  |
What a beautiful poem! And such a difficult mandate, that contest (it daunted me rather!). Your rhymes are good, and mostly unforced (hard with the line by line requirements). I don't know if I can suggest alternatives, but here goes...what about leaving out "[to know] their own way" in stanza 2 - just my thought. You have all the right virtues in your kids, obviously. Good luck with the contest. :)
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 10-Jan-2009
reply by the author on 10-Jan-2009
-
I changed it from "to know their own way" to "to find their own way". Thanks for a good heads-up on that one. Have to keep the 14 syllables in each line. Thank you very much for your great review and compliments! :-)) Sue