The Cage
People gone mad.35 total reviews
Comment from LIJ Red
Oh, boy, more fun than pro wrasslin', and dern near as loud and bloody.
Of course pro wrestlers get hurt a lot. Obese senior citizens can't jump around like that. I hope your tendency to overstate slightly doesn't hurt you in the contest. Fr'instance, calling Art and Homer sickminded was overkill. But then the speaker is a (tabloid?) journalist...excellent...
reply by the author on 31-May-2016
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Oh, boy, more fun than pro wrasslin', and dern near as loud and bloody.
Of course pro wrestlers get hurt a lot. Obese senior citizens can't jump around like that. I hope your tendency to overstate slightly doesn't hurt you in the contest. Fr'instance, calling Art and Homer sickminded was overkill. But then the speaker is a (tabloid?) journalist...excellent...
Comment Written 31-May-2016
reply by the author on 31-May-2016
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Thank you so much, LIJ Red, for taking time to read my off the wall story. Yes, you are absolutely right, everything in this story is overkill. LOL! Exactly what we can always expect from journalists. I just hope readers can understand the journalist telling about what he sees and not being about to hear conversations and dialog from safe distances. Your kind words and generous review are greatly appreciated. :-)
Comment from frogbook
A highly original, stark and powerful depiction of the human condition and it's frailties and disregard for others. A thought provoking and memorable read that should be one of the top entries in the contest.
reply by the author on 31-May-2016
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A highly original, stark and powerful depiction of the human condition and it's frailties and disregard for others. A thought provoking and memorable read that should be one of the top entries in the contest.
Comment Written 31-May-2016
reply by the author on 31-May-2016
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Thank you so much, Frogbook, for taking time to read my story. This story, with little dialog, only gives a journalist's POV at a safe distance away from the action. Unable to hear much conversation. Your kind words and outstanding six-star review have made my day, even if you are the only person who understands what I was trying to do. Thanks, again. :-)
Comment from Domino 2
My attention spell doesn't stretch to reading anything this length in detail, but I offer just one humble observation - any story benefits from dialogue, and as much as possible, as this brings it to life, adds imagery and develops the characters.
I hope that's of more use than just praise, though flitting through, this does seem very well written.
Best wishes, Ray.
reply by the author on 31-May-2016
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My attention spell doesn't stretch to reading anything this length in detail, but I offer just one humble observation - any story benefits from dialogue, and as much as possible, as this brings it to life, adds imagery and develops the characters.
I hope that's of more use than just praise, though flitting through, this does seem very well written.
Best wishes, Ray.
Comment Written 31-May-2016
reply by the author on 31-May-2016
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This story is primarily a journalist's observation of everything that is going on around him as he stays a safe distance from the action. Therefore, there is no way to hear the conversations, other than bits and pieces that are in included in the story. A story doesn't have to have dialog, but I'm sure that it would be even better with some. Thanks, Ray, for taking time to read my story. Your comments and generous review are greatly appreciated. :-)
Comment from konni
You write well. Command of the language and descriptions are very good.
There's a complete and interesting story here, a well-developed setup, followed by a satisfying conclusion--intellectually.
A news story isn't emotionally engaging like a story told from the pov of a character we care about?
Interesting idea. Enjoyed the read.
reply by the author on 31-May-2016
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You write well. Command of the language and descriptions are very good.
There's a complete and interesting story here, a well-developed setup, followed by a satisfying conclusion--intellectually.
A news story isn't emotionally engaging like a story told from the pov of a character we care about?
Interesting idea. Enjoyed the read.
Comment Written 31-May-2016
reply by the author on 31-May-2016
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Yes, Konni, most stories are better with dialog. I agree wholeheartedly. I just liked the idea of telling the whole story through a journalist's pov, with him at a safe distance away from the action. Unable to hear all the conversations. Thanks for taking time to read my story. Your comments and generous review are greatly appreciated. :-)
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Absolutely welcome :)
Comment from davisr (Rhonda)
At first I felt the theme was a sort of parody of reality shows where we all get so involved in watching the terrible things that happen to each other, we lose sight of who we are as human beings.
But, then, I read your author's notes and realize it's even a stronger theme than that, where we just sit back and let other people dictate our morality, and then just follow along and do what they are doing.
Good social commentary,
Rhonda
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 31-May-2016
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At first I felt the theme was a sort of parody of reality shows where we all get so involved in watching the terrible things that happen to each other, we lose sight of who we are as human beings.
But, then, I read your author's notes and realize it's even a stronger theme than that, where we just sit back and let other people dictate our morality, and then just follow along and do what they are doing.
Good social commentary,
Rhonda
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 31-May-2016
reply by the author on 31-May-2016
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Yes, I'm sure it would be even better with dialog, but I was trying to tell the story from a journalist's POV, him/her unable to hear the conversations from their safe distance from the action. Thanks for taking time to read my story. Your comments and generous review are greatly appreciated. :-)