THE TRINING Book Three
Viewing comments for Chapter 26 "The Dog That Rhuether Kicks"JOURNEY INTO REDEMPTION
41 total reviews
Comment from ProSongwriter
Hi Jay ...
What an interesting mix of characters and personalities you've developed here. Axtilla has many faces, some of them hidden deep behind her outward expressions. I wouldn't trust her as far as I could throw a three-story house.
There is lots of tension, mistrust and irony woven throughout this chapter. It takes a skilled writer to connect all those dots such that the reader is not overwhelmed with it all. You've done a great job of that. Your writing style works in favor or presenting your story and characters with considerable depth and detail, yet making it a smooth, easy read. Well done!
Wishing you the very best ...
Alan
reply by the author on 06-Dec-2015
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Hi Jay ...
What an interesting mix of characters and personalities you've developed here. Axtilla has many faces, some of them hidden deep behind her outward expressions. I wouldn't trust her as far as I could throw a three-story house.
There is lots of tension, mistrust and irony woven throughout this chapter. It takes a skilled writer to connect all those dots such that the reader is not overwhelmed with it all. You've done a great job of that. Your writing style works in favor or presenting your story and characters with considerable depth and detail, yet making it a smooth, easy read. Well done!
Wishing you the very best ...
Alan
Comment Written 06-Dec-2015
reply by the author on 06-Dec-2015
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Many thanks, Alan. I'm so privileged to have you aboard this story. It's not easy to jump into the middle of something that has such a long tail. Try not to develop an unchangeable dislike for Axtilla. Some changes in the works.
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Hi Jay ...
Yes, jumping into a book midway is a challenge. But, as the reader, it's my job to go back and scan the previous chapters. It's not your job to bring me up to date. So many times when a person comes into one of my books midway, they ask me to bring them up to date, regarding previous chapters. That's the reader's responsibility.
I
ll keep an open mind to Axtilla and see how that develops. Happy to be on board! Nice writing.
Alan
Comment from Shirley McLain
Excellent chapter, full of action and tension. Rhuether, can't keep from showing his true colors. Is Axtilla playing with Doctrex? Have a blessed day. Shirley
reply by the author on 06-Dec-2015
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Excellent chapter, full of action and tension. Rhuether, can't keep from showing his true colors. Is Axtilla playing with Doctrex? Have a blessed day. Shirley
Comment Written 06-Dec-2015
reply by the author on 06-Dec-2015
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Oh, Shirley. THanks as usual for your kindness. I think Axtilla is using the only thing she can use to tell Doctrex that she is not who she appears to be. But who am I to guess what goes on in a woman's mind?
Comment from Lesley Collier
An interesting chapter of of an emporer and his wife dining with a guest who is plotting with his wife to bring about his downfall. The underlying emotions between the three make for an interesting meal in which the chef is drawn into the emotional outbursts of the emporer as he tries to form a pact with his guest. Well written with an intriguing plot!
reply by the author on 06-Dec-2015
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An interesting chapter of of an emporer and his wife dining with a guest who is plotting with his wife to bring about his downfall. The underlying emotions between the three make for an interesting meal in which the chef is drawn into the emotional outbursts of the emporer as he tries to form a pact with his guest. Well written with an intriguing plot!
Comment Written 06-Dec-2015
reply by the author on 06-Dec-2015
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Many thanks, Lesley. You've got into the middle of a long, long book and still capture the essence of the current action. Please come back.
Comment from royowen
There's more to Axtilla than meets the eye, she's playing a great role in paying up her part, demanding that they not toast the enemy general, Doctrex, whil running her toe up and down his leg. Some good interconnections and the "playing the Game" while poor Chiel, playing his role perfection much to the observant eye of Doctrex, well done, Jay, blessings, Roy
Typo : "here! Here" I said. Hear, hear,?
reply by the author on 06-Dec-2015
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There's more to Axtilla than meets the eye, she's playing a great role in paying up her part, demanding that they not toast the enemy general, Doctrex, whil running her toe up and down his leg. Some good interconnections and the "playing the Game" while poor Chiel, playing his role perfection much to the observant eye of Doctrex, well done, Jay, blessings, Roy
Typo : "here! Here" I said. Hear, hear,?
Comment Written 06-Dec-2015
reply by the author on 06-Dec-2015
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"Here! here!" not a typo, Roy. Just a stupid mistake. I can never keep them straight and the toast isn't used much. I looked it up on Google and see it was taken from the original "Hear him, hear him! Isn't that interesting? Hopefully that will help me remember; instead, though, I'll probably write the whole thing out,"Hear him, hear him," and swear I'm right.
Thanks for pointing that out in such a whisper, so I'm less embarrassed. And as always, thanks for being such a gentleman and for reading the text so closely.
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Typo is always a good cushion. And you're always a gentleman yourself Jay, I learnt from the best, Roy
Comment from Tomes Johnston
Again, this is an intricate web of relationships that the author has created here. The interaction between the characters is very interesting and the list at the bottom helps. Well done.
reply by the author on 06-Dec-2015
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Again, this is an intricate web of relationships that the author has created here. The interaction between the characters is very interesting and the list at the bottom helps. Well done.
Comment Written 06-Dec-2015
reply by the author on 06-Dec-2015
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Thanks for being such a loyal reader, Tomes.
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No problem.
Comment from trumby
Is it supposed to be "garge swill" or "garage swill"?
I haven't ever created my own world, but I assume that it's rather challenging. I'm looking forward to doing it. I like challenges.
I can see that you're a salesman by the way that you read people.
Sorry, mate, I expected it to be a "real" dog.
reply by the author on 06-Dec-2015
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Is it supposed to be "garge swill" or "garage swill"?
I haven't ever created my own world, but I assume that it's rather challenging. I'm looking forward to doing it. I like challenges.
I can see that you're a salesman by the way that you read people.
Sorry, mate, I expected it to be a "real" dog.
Comment Written 06-Dec-2015
reply by the author on 06-Dec-2015
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Ha! I was afraid of the two things you pointed out. That the title might mislead (and perhaps attract a few dog lovers--well that would actually be a bonus), but I meant is as kind of a projection technique when one is stressed. As far as "garge swill" goes, I had originally had "garbage", but figured since this is a fantasy where I already changed "horse" to "crossan" and a few other changes as well, I'd change garbage to "garge". Never did I think of the confusion with "garage", but there could be swill there, as well.
Thanks for the salesman compliment. You do learn something in 40 years of insurance.
Please come back for the rest of this and maybe the other novel I post.
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I've sold everything from aluminum products to soap to horseshit. It takes a salesman to know one
Comment from Robert Louis Fox
I like the carry over of conflict and tension at the beginning of the episode from the last. Doctrex's reaction and thoughts make a good transition. The food scene is very sensory--felt like I could feel his hunger and taste the meat and other foods. An ironic twist, a disaster in a way for Doctrex when Rhuether objects to his dinner. A dilemma soon resolved, but for what purpose? To show us what Ruether is like?
Overall the scene is very emotional--Axtilla feigning hostility, Ruether's petty outburst, Chiel's anxieties, and Doctrex taking it all in with grave uncertainty.
Perhaps it is because I haven't read from the beginning, but I'm having trouble discerning how the characters are advancing here to a resolution of the story problem. In your other story, where I also jumped into the middle, there was an instant feeling of what the problem is and what each character is/isn't doing about it. Not so much here. It's not the writing, because that is active and descriptive--very colorful. It is perhaps the intended or peculiar to the genre?
The sexual tension at the end delivers a good emotional/erotic cliffhanger. It is a kicker and we are left rooting for the 2 of them.
reply by the author on 06-Dec-2015
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I like the carry over of conflict and tension at the beginning of the episode from the last. Doctrex's reaction and thoughts make a good transition. The food scene is very sensory--felt like I could feel his hunger and taste the meat and other foods. An ironic twist, a disaster in a way for Doctrex when Rhuether objects to his dinner. A dilemma soon resolved, but for what purpose? To show us what Ruether is like?
Overall the scene is very emotional--Axtilla feigning hostility, Ruether's petty outburst, Chiel's anxieties, and Doctrex taking it all in with grave uncertainty.
Perhaps it is because I haven't read from the beginning, but I'm having trouble discerning how the characters are advancing here to a resolution of the story problem. In your other story, where I also jumped into the middle, there was an instant feeling of what the problem is and what each character is/isn't doing about it. Not so much here. It's not the writing, because that is active and descriptive--very colorful. It is perhaps the intended or peculiar to the genre?
The sexual tension at the end delivers a good emotional/erotic cliffhanger. It is a kicker and we are left rooting for the 2 of them.
Comment Written 06-Dec-2015
reply by the author on 06-Dec-2015
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Robert, you do dig deep. I wish I had your discernment when I read--when I write, for that matter. I rarely plan things out and just know the general direction until the characters kindly point me the way through the forest and away from the cliffs. The story problem, which was alluded to in an earlier chapter (before you started reading) is "WIll Doctrex and Axtilla destroy Glnot Rhuether and prevent "The Trining", prophesied by Kyre (Axtilla's god, who speaks to her in dream visions)." By now you're probably throwing up your hands and saying, "Forget it!"
But ever so slowly, I'm working my way to the climactic scene.
Thanks for taking a chance with this post, Robert.
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I do like your Down and Out series better, but in both, your writing is a pleasure to read. You know how to "show" your stories.
Can Doctrex and Axtilla unite and prevent the prophesy of "The Trining"? is the dramatic question. The story problem/s are the impediment/s in each scene to be resolved in order to answer the dramatic question. Sometimes a couple words ties it all together. And just because I didn't sense the story problem in the scene doesn't mean it isn't there. Just want to give one view of how you're coming across. I know that me reflecting my reader's experience is, if not useful, still helpful.
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What you did was very helpful, Robert. I've made this a very complicated story. Complex is not erudite. It has just seemed to evolve into its complexity and I'm running around trying to tie up this loose end and untie this other that got tied together by mistake. It's just complicated.
Comment from chasennov
It Was Supposed To Be So Grand ...A chapter in the book THE TRINING Book Three. Rhuether Kicks His Dog. I'm quite happy that I can keep up with your chapters because they are getting better all the time. Not that the others were lacking something. Very well done.
"You fool! What is this? Do you expect me to eat this garge swill?"
reply by the author on 06-Dec-2015
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It Was Supposed To Be So Grand ...A chapter in the book THE TRINING Book Three. Rhuether Kicks His Dog. I'm quite happy that I can keep up with your chapters because they are getting better all the time. Not that the others were lacking something. Very well done.
"You fool! What is this? Do you expect me to eat this garge swill?"
Comment Written 06-Dec-2015
reply by the author on 06-Dec-2015
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Thanks, Chas. SO happy you are enjoying this, and it sounds like you will continue on.
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You are most welcome, Jay, and yes, I will continue on.
Comment from Curly Girly
Tension at the dinner table appears to have abated. The taster is no longer in demand, but Axtilla is still playing her role. She's confident enough to play with Doctrex's leg. I hope nobody sees her below-the-belt message.
Nicole
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reply by the author on 06-Dec-2015
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Tension at the dinner table appears to have abated. The taster is no longer in demand, but Axtilla is still playing her role. She's confident enough to play with Doctrex's leg. I hope nobody sees her below-the-belt message.
Nicole
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 06-Dec-2015
reply by the author on 06-Dec-2015
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Hopefully no one can see DOCTREX'S below the belt message! Thanks, as ever, for reading and enjoying this.
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Lol!
Comment from barkingdog
After a dramatic scene during dinner, Axtilla resumes her roaming foot play with Doctrex.
Somehow, I get the feeling that Chiel is in on Astilla's plan to overthrow Ruether.
Another fine chapter, Jay.
:) ellen
reply by the author on 06-Dec-2015
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After a dramatic scene during dinner, Axtilla resumes her roaming foot play with Doctrex.
Somehow, I get the feeling that Chiel is in on Astilla's plan to overthrow Ruether.
Another fine chapter, Jay.
:) ellen
Comment Written 06-Dec-2015
reply by the author on 06-Dec-2015
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Oh, your antenna is ever up, Ellen. We shall very soon see. Thanks so much for the six star rating.