Reviews from

The Animal Doctor

Viewing comments for Chapter 14 "Ten Oakes Part II"
Love Among the Thorns

38 total reviews 
Comment from lindalcreel
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

What an exceptional story. I haven't read any of the previous chapters, but this was well-written and captivating. I hope to go back and catch up to the other chapters because I love this period in history. I have no doubt that each chapter will be just as exciting as the last. Thanks so much for sharing.

 Comment Written 14-Jan-2014


reply by the author on 14-Jan-2014
    And thank you so much for taking the time to read my chapter. I really do appreciate you, my dear.
reply by lindalcreel on 14-Jan-2014
    I just posted a note on your profile page. It seems we are both native Marylanders, and my family worked at Bethlehem Steel.It is always a pleasure to meet someone from the neighborhood.:)
reply by the author on 14-Jan-2014
    OMG! I started to asked you about that, but since you lived in Florida, I don't why, but I changed my mind. If you tell me you once lived in Sparrows Point, I think I'll scream. My grandfather worked for Bethlehem Steel for 40 years before retiring. I cut my teeth on that orange sky.
reply by lindalcreel on 14-Jan-2014
    Actually, I worked there for a few years when I got out of high school, in the Tin Mill. Then I worked at a bar in Fells Point on the weekends, while I was going to college. I made a ton of money. The bar was "The Horse you Rode in on Saloon." Great times and still have family in Edgewood and Baltimore county. My husband flew med-evacs there for the Maryland State Police, and I was a nurse at Johns Hopkins and Sinai Hospital. Too funny!!
reply by the author on 14-Jan-2014
    Well, so nice to meet you. Smile. "The Horse you Rode in on" LOL Sweet!
reply by lindalcreel on 14-Jan-2014
    Lots of memories there:)
Comment from pbroussard209
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

This sounds like a very interesting book, I have not read any of your other chapters but this one sucked me right in and held my attention to the end. Though I'm not sure I like Margaret very much. lol

great chapter well penned, I only saw one little thing listed below.



How she'd teased him with her breast, exposing one plump pink nipples(nipple)

 Comment Written 14-Jan-2014


reply by the author on 14-Jan-2014
    Thank you for catching that oversight and for stopping and reading my chapter.
reply by pbroussard209 on 14-Jan-2014
    You are welcome.
Comment from forestport12
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

Love the characters the dialogue. It kind or reminded of that new show on OWN "The haves and have nots." Rich tapestry of dialogue is what I lliked best about this piece that carried the plot forward. The only suggestion might be to change the metaphor of "slithering snake" to something that sounds more original. Althought appropriate, it has been used so many times in written works. Blessings forward. Great story!

 Comment Written 14-Jan-2014


reply by the author on 14-Jan-2014
    Thank you Stan for continuing to support my writings and this story. Yes, you're right; I wondered about that. I'll just change it back to the original, which was, 'she walked off'.
Comment from sweetwoodjax
Excellent
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this is very well written, amahra, you did an excellent job writing this chapter where nathan is enthralled by his baby, margaret comes for a visit and has set up a trust fund for the baby. after grace goes upstairs, margaret comes on to nathan

 Comment Written 14-Jan-2014


reply by the author on 14-Jan-2014
    Thank you sweetwoodjax. Really appreciate you.
Comment from c_lucas
Excellent
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This is where self control and self respect puts out the fires. The post is very well written with a smooth flow of words, making for a very good read.

 Comment Written 14-Jan-2014


reply by the author on 14-Jan-2014
    Thank you Lucas. Thanks for keeping up with the chapters.
reply by c_lucas on 14-Jan-2014
    You're welcome, Amahra. Charlie
Comment from chasennov
Excellent
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The Animal Doctor. "Ten Oakes Part Two.' This is a very good chapter you have written here. I like the structure of the story, and the formulation was done neatly, too. Well done.

 Comment Written 14-Jan-2014


reply by the author on 14-Jan-2014
    Thank you chasennov.
reply by chasennov on 14-Jan-2014
    You are most welcome.
Comment from James Dooney
Excellent
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Good job ! Its like you are taking me to this destination setting and place here. I like this and I hope to read more of this soon !~

 Comment Written 14-Jan-2014


reply by the author on 14-Jan-2014
    Thank you Mr. Dooney.
Comment from B. Diehl
Excellent
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"She smiled as she glided over to him, clutching her handbag. He noticed her full hips making beautiful contact with the sides of her skirt that fitted snugged above the flare of the pleats."

I love how descriptive your prose is. Also, your use of dialogue is basically flawless.

Five stars.

-B<3

This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.

 Comment Written 14-Jan-2014


reply by the author on 14-Jan-2014
    Thank you B. Diehl.