All Those Puzzling Pieces
Viewing comments for Chapter 1 "She Turns the Page"What makes a life? How do the pieces fit?
124 total reviews
Comment from N.K. Wagner
Sharyn your sonnet is well written with strong imagery, rhythm and rhyme. You remind the reader of everyone's individual insignificance in the scheme of things as Mistress Time laughs (at our egocentricity?)and turns the page. Well done. :) nancy
reply by the author on 06-Mar-2013
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Sharyn your sonnet is well written with strong imagery, rhythm and rhyme. You remind the reader of everyone's individual insignificance in the scheme of things as Mistress Time laughs (at our egocentricity?)and turns the page. Well done. :) nancy
Comment Written 06-Mar-2013
reply by the author on 06-Mar-2013
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Indeed Nancy - you've got it! :)S
Comment from Joy Graham
This is lovely. Great meter. I did have trouble with "inexorably" but after working on it I think I got it LOL! The picture is very dramatic and brings life to your words. As always, I enjoy your personal flare for writing :) Best wishes to you in this contest.
reply by the author on 06-Mar-2013
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This is lovely. Great meter. I did have trouble with "inexorably" but after working on it I think I got it LOL! The picture is very dramatic and brings life to your words. As always, I enjoy your personal flare for writing :) Best wishes to you in this contest.
Comment Written 06-Mar-2013
reply by the author on 06-Mar-2013
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thx Joy - yes, it's inEXorABly - with the first stress on "ex" and a secondary stress (but still stressed) on "ab" - not the easiest choice! :)S
Comment from Mark Brucato
Each timeless minute with an hour's endowed
through days and weeks and years our lives are spun.
Our lives are spun. Awesome word selection
reply by the author on 06-Mar-2013
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Each timeless minute with an hour's endowed
through days and weeks and years our lives are spun.
Our lives are spun. Awesome word selection
Comment Written 06-Mar-2013
reply by the author on 06-Mar-2013
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Thank you so much Mark! :)Sharyn
Comment from Scarbrems
Nice one - sadly it comes to us all. Beautifully expressed perfect sonnet here - lyrical, correct metre. Never thought of my parents as 'immortal Gods', but now you come to mention it...
reply by the author on 06-Mar-2013
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Nice one - sadly it comes to us all. Beautifully expressed perfect sonnet here - lyrical, correct metre. Never thought of my parents as 'immortal Gods', but now you come to mention it...
Comment Written 06-Mar-2013
reply by the author on 06-Mar-2013
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they sure seem that way when we're kids - good OR bad, I guess, emsey, yes? I know my dad did - and he died when he was only 59. I'm now 60. Go figure that one ... :)S
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though they were great and I loved them dearly, I remember worrying a lot about their deaths, though they were young parents, I think because I had a schoolfriend whose Mum died. I worry even more ow they are older.
Comment from Juliette Chamberlain
A beautiful sonnet dealing primarily with the passage of time and how we perceive it.
The rhyme is excellent and the background colour and picture you have chosen really enhance the overall appearance.
'With an (hour's) hour endowed.'
Juliette
reply by the author on 06-Mar-2013
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A beautiful sonnet dealing primarily with the passage of time and how we perceive it.
The rhyme is excellent and the background colour and picture you have chosen really enhance the overall appearance.
'With an (hour's) hour endowed.'
Juliette
Comment Written 06-Mar-2013
reply by the author on 06-Mar-2013
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hour's meaning "hour is" Juliette, but I guess it could also work the other way ... hmm ... will have to take another peek - thx so much! :)S
Comment from kiwisteveh
Stromg sonnet - your poetry always has lots of life and this has a whirlwind beginning.
The theme is strong too and will no doubt strike a chord with many and the last line with personification of Time is a great ending.
'inexorably' doesn't seem to fit the rhythm too well and the phrase 'it seems but naught an age' is a little confusing.
Good luck with this.
Steve
reply by the author on 06-Mar-2013
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Stromg sonnet - your poetry always has lots of life and this has a whirlwind beginning.
The theme is strong too and will no doubt strike a chord with many and the last line with personification of Time is a great ending.
'inexorably' doesn't seem to fit the rhythm too well and the phrase 'it seems but naught an age' is a little confusing.
Good luck with this.
Steve
Comment Written 06-Mar-2013
reply by the author on 06-Mar-2013
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aaah, think about it Steve - inEXorABly - primary stress on "ex" and there's also a smaller, secondary stress on the "ab" bit ... but then again, you can't understand kiwis anyway ... poor things ...
and "but naught an age" - but a short time, almost nothing ...
:))) We'll just have to send you to Australia to learn real English! :))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))
Comment from juliedickson55
Lovely image of the red gown draped down- this compliments your poem so well, with the white on red lettering too.
I enjoyed reading this poem.
It poignantly states how short life is...the simple love and experiences but a moment in time.
reply by the author on 06-Mar-2013
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Lovely image of the red gown draped down- this compliments your poem so well, with the white on red lettering too.
I enjoyed reading this poem.
It poignantly states how short life is...the simple love and experiences but a moment in time.
Comment Written 06-Mar-2013
reply by the author on 06-Mar-2013
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Bless you Julie - nice to see you posting again! :)S
Comment from McMurry903
You crafted a brilliantly beautiful sonnet here, my friend! I absolutely love it!
I like the deep yet relatable message of the fragility of life you conveyed.
Wonderful presentation as always!
I enjoyed very much and wish you the best of luck in the contest! :) Brian
reply by the author on 06-Mar-2013
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You crafted a brilliantly beautiful sonnet here, my friend! I absolutely love it!
I like the deep yet relatable message of the fragility of life you conveyed.
Wonderful presentation as always!
I enjoyed very much and wish you the best of luck in the contest! :) Brian
Comment Written 06-Mar-2013
reply by the author on 06-Mar-2013
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Brian, I'm so glad you enjoyed this one! Sonnets are not easy writes for me, so I''m always glad when they "turn out" right - so I especially appreciate your lovely six!
:)Sharyn
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Your very welcome! :)
Comment from Mai Mai
This is an interesting piece. I'm not sure how I feel about it, which is unusual for your writings and me. It has a slight darkness to it that I'm not use to getting from you, but it is good just the same. Good work and good luck.
Mai Mai
reply by the author on 06-Mar-2013
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This is an interesting piece. I'm not sure how I feel about it, which is unusual for your writings and me. It has a slight darkness to it that I'm not use to getting from you, but it is good just the same. Good work and good luck.
Mai Mai
Comment Written 05-Mar-2013
reply by the author on 06-Mar-2013
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thx Mai Mai - I've actually written some quite dark pieces - maybe you've missed them? :)S
Comment from Stephanie Kay
You have simply gone through an entire lifetime in a single poem - and then, as if that is not enough, added an eternal element! I really enjoyed reading this poem, thank you. It pulled on several emotions and then ended with satire - that's a real accomplishment!
reply by the author on 06-Mar-2013
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You have simply gone through an entire lifetime in a single poem - and then, as if that is not enough, added an eternal element! I really enjoyed reading this poem, thank you. It pulled on several emotions and then ended with satire - that's a real accomplishment!
Comment Written 05-Mar-2013
reply by the author on 06-Mar-2013
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thx so much Stephanie! Always fun to tackle a sonnet! :)Sharyn