Comment from Tina McKala

Excellent

If I take it as an alarm alert to children look what will happen if you will not obey, than it was a very good job. and the same applies to parents of those children - look what will happen if you suck as a parent...

 Comment Written 25-Sep-2012

---

reply by the author on 27-Sep-2012

Yeah, she got fat, but she also lived a long, pampered life - I am choosing not to give a moral lesson in this one.
Steve

Comment from cheyennewy

Excellent

Hi kiwisteveh,

This is an adorable poem for the spoilt kid contest. Annabel certainly is spoiled but in the end she is alarmingly fat...don't know how she survived to one hundred and five either! This is a great poem and I wish you good luck in the contest...chey

 Comment Written 25-Sep-2012

---

reply by the author on 27-Sep-2012

Thank you, Chey - haven't seen you around in a while - contest is done and dusted with no glory for Annabel, unfortunately - but then she did get all the cake!
Steve

Comment from Debbie7

Excellent

Hi. Gosh I just loved this. Spoiled child or not it's so much fun. The rhymes are great!
I like the last line of each stanza too!
If you haven't won yet, you're certainly due!

 Comment Written 25-Sep-2012

---

reply by the author on 27-Sep-2012

Thank you, Deb - contest is done and dusted with no glory for Annabel, unfortunately - but then she did get all the cake!
Steve

Comment from Misrael

Excellent

A very cute poem for small children and brings a grin to my face and probibly others as well. If we had small children I would read it to them. Good read, good job and keep on writing.

 Comment Written 25-Sep-2012

---

reply by the author on 27-Sep-2012

Thanks for the kind words.
Steve

Comment from Val Crisson

Excellent

Very funny, clever, and great entry for this contest. I love the last line of each stanza. It involves the reader, and I'm so glad you let her live 105 instead of killing her off. Fun read

 Comment Written 25-Sep-2012

---

reply by the author on 27-Sep-2012

Thanks, Val - I probably started this with the intention of letting her come to a sticky end, but that seemed too obvious somehow.
Steve

Comment from amada

Excellent

This is a richly laid story. Great to know is just a fancy. For sure the theme is very well carry on. Now my stomach is grumbling for a rich a chocolate eclair!

 Comment Written 25-Sep-2012

---

reply by the author on 27-Sep-2012

Thank you - just make sure you don't eat as much as Annabel!
Steve

Comment from RaymondJohn

Excellent

Really funny. I enjoyed the light humor that will be perfect for young readers. The quatrains move forward at a fine clip and I thoroughly like Miss Annabel. We done. You should have a good chance in the contest. Ray.

 Comment Written 25-Sep-2012

---

reply by the author on 25-Sep-2012

Thanks, Ray - disappointing result in the contest, but I had fun with Miss Annabel.
SteveThanks, Gazza.

Comment from rjuselius

Excellent

this is a brilliant piece of poetry for children under the age of 10. it carries a message no to envy other people's posessions and not to show what you have(that's what i got from the poem).
thank you for sharing!
good luck in the contest!

rebekka x

 Comment Written 25-Sep-2012

---

reply by the author on 25-Sep-2012

Thanks, Rebekka.
I try to make my poems different from other people's, so I chose a spoilt kid who did not come to a sticky end - so sue me!

Comment from Mary Ann MCPhedran

Excellent

This is very good and it rhymes so well, such like a riddle type of poem. A great write and needs no edit Thanks for sharing with me. Mary

 Comment Written 25-Sep-2012

---

reply by the author on 25-Sep-2012

Thanks, Mary - glad you enjoyed.
Steve

Comment from Nanette Mary

Excellent

Hullo Kiwisteveh ...

I enjoyed reading this poem written specially for children, using very descriptive and imaginative words ... such as 'goo' and one of the words that rhymes with that - neither of which are real words according to our Dictionaries.

There is nothing to suggest changing. As this is a Contest entry, I wish you well.
Love from .... Nanette Mary.

 Comment Written 25-Sep-2012

---

reply by the author on 25-Sep-2012

Thank you, Nanette Mary - hey if everyone can understand what you mean, you have no need of a dictionary!
Steve