Reviews from

Lonely Hearts Meet

Viewing comments for Chapter 23 "Part two, Chapter 7"
Anna and her son escape from a man-made Hell.

87 total reviews 
Comment from amada
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

The dialog is very good and keep the action going, at the same time it gives it glimpse to the characters playing in the story. Well done!

 Comment Written 22-Jul-2011


reply by the author on 22-Jul-2011
    Thank you for your kind review.
Comment from Patrick G Cox
Excellent
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Hi Barbara,

Looks like things are working out for the lady and her child - but I would also suspect you've a twist or two to come with that scumbag of a husband and his equally sumbag lawyer ...

Patrick

 Comment Written 22-Jul-2011


reply by the author on 22-Jul-2011
    Yes, I do. I appreciat your kind review.
Comment from teacherdub
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Continuing chapter is a good explanation of what Anna is facing. I didn't find it exciting as you warned, but I wasn't bored either. Look forward to the next one, and I will backtrack to find the ones I missed during my four week absence to FS. Dial up at lake is toooooo slow. td

 Comment Written 22-Jul-2011


reply by the author on 22-Jul-2011
    Thank you for the kind review. I will be going to visit my mom ofr a few days and she has dial up. It is too slow.
Comment from denhagan
Excellent
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This Part Two of Chapter Seven was very interesting to read about Anna finding an apartment with the help of Troy's mom and aunt, and how Paul and Betty, Troy's parents, volunteer to make Anna's down payment for the new apartment.

 Comment Written 22-Jul-2011


reply by the author on 22-Jul-2011
    Thank you for the kind review.
reply by denhagan on 23-Jul-2011
    You're welcome. Dennis
Comment from bhogg
Excellent
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Hi Barbara - another wonderful post. I like the way you outlined preliminary budgeting. I tried doing something similar for my son. Somehow, he just didn't get it. That category of expenses called, "other" always seems to do him in! Warm regards, Bill

 Comment Written 22-Jul-2011


reply by the author on 22-Jul-2011
    Hey, they do me in too. LOL Thank you for your kind review.
Comment from pickthorn
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

I don't think this chapter was boring at all. You have layed the groundwork for the coming drama that must occur when Bobby gets out of jail and wants to see Anna and her son. The suspense is mounting.

 Comment Written 22-Jul-2011


reply by the author on 22-Jul-2011
    Thank you for the kind review and insight.
Comment from robina1978
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

You said boring?I did not find it boring for 1 minute.
It is well written and about an up-to-date subject,that is so often ignored.
Definitely grabbed my interest all the way.
Characters were real , though maybe not many of such pleasant and knowledgeable friends around for abused wives.

 Comment Written 22-Jul-2011


reply by the author on 22-Jul-2011
    Thank you for your kind review.
reply by robina1978 on 22-Jul-2011
    very welcome and well deserved
reply by robina1978 on 22-Jul-2011
    you are ever so welcome
Comment from Tom C. Adams
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

This is just real real fine work, Barbara.Wiley. Selecting a new place to live is such a stressful experience anyway. Having relocated a dozen times, I would have loved to have had someone like Paul helping me out. And not the money thing either, just calculating the cost and organizing the purchase/rental agreement. I love how you weaved that in to your story. I love how you have orchestrated this chapter so that the plot advances through dialogue! Who said it is boring? Oh that's right YOU said it was boring. Well, it's not. I will definitely take the time to read other chapters. I found one minor distraction you may want to look at: "Will Rogers... apartment?" I had to read that 3 times to step beyond the unintended pun.
Otherwise, fantastic. An otherwise highly protected Six stars for this terrific chapter.
Roll on!
Tom C. Adams

 Comment Written 22-Jul-2011


reply by the author on 22-Jul-2011
    I will check that area out. I had not intended a pun. My previous post earned a three for being boring. I wanted to head my reviewer off. He thinks it needs more action. Thank you for your kind review.
reply by Tom C. Adams on 22-Jul-2011
    No three star rating from me! I edited reports and professional publications by profession for several years. No three star rating for this work. Unh, unh. Oh, and I thought about my comments to you in the shower, after I was finished jogging. Perhaps the appearance of "Will Rogers" is not by definition a pun; rather I think it is called double entendre [?]. It is certainly not a flaw, just an interesting sidebar. Your proofreading is also spot on. I repeat; this is just real real fine work.
    Tom C. Adams
Comment from Connie P
Excellent
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So much to face and then the uncertainty of what Bobby will be able to do when he gets out of jail. As you said, she's lucky to this point, to have found Betty, Paul, Troy, and Margaret. I wish Bobby would just disappear, but it's not that simple, is it?
Connie

 Comment Written 22-Jul-2011


reply by the author on 22-Jul-2011
    Nope, Bobby will not disappear and will reappear. Thank you for yru kind review.
Comment from Piggies Grandma
Excellent
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This is cleverly written and well thought out Barbara. I enjoyed reading it and I didn't find it boring at all. Your story is progressing nicely.

 Comment Written 22-Jul-2011


reply by the author on 22-Jul-2011
    Thank you for your kind review.