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Tantalizing Eyes

Viewing comments for Chapter 12 "Chapter 3 Part 4"
Dishonesty VS Love. Which will win?

44 total reviews 
Comment from Mengleoh67
Excellent
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Excellent chapter!! I just love this story so much. It's very well written with excellent momentum. The character interaction and dialogue is fantastic and the storyline is smooth and strong. I can't wait to see what comes next, I'm not sure I trust Leya either.

 Comment Written 19-Sep-2009

reply by the author on 19-Sep-2009
    Thank you for your review. I appreciate your continued support.
Comment from NightWriter
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"Chapter 3 Part 4" is another well written chapter. I can feel his uneasyness about not trusting Leya and that heightens the suspense. Well written.

 Comment Written 19-Sep-2009

reply by the author on 19-Sep-2009
    Thank you for your review. I appreciate you continued support.
Comment from Readywriter52
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Steven drew the short straw so he must pretend to marry Leya. I hope it works, but will her father and Carlos accept a marriage license as proof of marriage.

 Comment Written 19-Sep-2009

reply by the author on 19-Sep-2009
    Hummm, I hadn't thought about that issue. Good point.
Comment from darkgreennights
Excellent
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Barb, you told me once that Steven would never fall, but even though you are the author I am going to bet against you and for biology, this book continues to be a blast.
love
Kathleen

 Comment Written 19-Sep-2009

reply by the author on 19-Sep-2009
    Thank you for your review. The list of ladies wanting his phone number is growing. I appreciate your support.
reply by darkgreennights on 19-Sep-2009
    damn them I will eat their heads!
reply by the author on 19-Sep-2009
    That's a plan. I would sic your wolves after them. I don't think they would ever think a pack of meth wolves would bother them. Who would?
reply by darkgreennights on 19-Sep-2009
    people are sooo unwary of the REAL dangers they face sigh
reply by the author on 19-Sep-2009
    They would never see the wolves coming. You got it going, girl.
reply by darkgreennights on 19-Sep-2009
    true! can you beleive Barb that they think they are fictional constructs? Good heavens the ignorance!
reply by the author on 19-Sep-2009
    There are just no words to describe it.
Comment from Ensiferum
Excellent
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Your writing is excellent and the dialogue is believeable. Unfortuately I started with this chapter and will now have to go back and read the previous 11 to see how things go to this point.

The only suggestion I could make would be to change:

"While on leave, I work from home." Matt chuckled as he said, "'Bye."

to

"While on leave, I work from home." Matt chuckled as he hung up the phone.

Other than that, excellent work.

 Comment Written 19-Sep-2009

reply by the author on 19-Sep-2009
    I like it. Thank you. I appreciate the help.
Comment from Ms. Gray
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I enjoyed reading this post. The beginning drew me into the action and the ending left me wanting to read more of this story. I think in the background information at the beginning furry should be fury.

 Comment Written 19-Sep-2009

reply by the author on 19-Sep-2009
    Thank you for the review. I appreciate your continued support.
Comment from Laidy
Excellent
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i liked this chapter, it wa short but we are making progress. i am looking foward to next chapter to see where this marraige, if he go through with it goes. great write.

 Comment Written 19-Sep-2009

reply by the author on 19-Sep-2009
    Thank you. If I would have included the rest, it would have been to long. I appreciate your support.
Comment from adewpearl
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This state has no waiting time between getting the license and wedding? In PA it is something like 3 days. We both know how much he likes the look of her in underwear - I think he's a goner! LOL Good dialogue, as always. Brooke

 Comment Written 19-Sep-2009

reply by the author on 19-Sep-2009
    We'll just have to wait and see. I think maybe things will calm down, slightly. But then I'm a dreamer. Thank you for your review. I always appreciate hearing from you.
Comment from Begin Again
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... um ... does ... this?" (do)

Barbara

I love the connection that is between Leya and Steven even if he doesn't really know it yet...but that's all men. They are the last to know, right? The story is still intriguing and I am anxious for you to contine.

Carol

 Comment Written 19-Sep-2009

reply by the author on 19-Sep-2009
    Thank you for catching my error. I am on it.
Comment from L.lora
Excellent
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Barbara a very strong segment, excellently written with good clear deliniationg of characters, their roles and dialogues. The flow is smooth and makes for easy reading, the scenes as presented are realistic as well as your character's actions and dialogues. No nits..Lora

 Comment Written 19-Sep-2009

reply by the author on 19-Sep-2009
    Thank you for your review and continued support.