CSP: A Collection of Poems
Viewing comments for Chapter 16 "The Liar"A collection of poetry
59 total reviews
Comment from Rottie
Thieving our time, the present is met
With lapses of loss which we cannot reclaim
Beware the ravages of regret.
Your poem says in a most poetic way, that regret, if held on to and protect, is like a sponge. Soaking up evert minute of the future dwelling on things you can not change.
Interesting.
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Thieving our time, the present is met
With lapses of loss which we cannot reclaim
Beware the ravages of regret.
Your poem says in a most poetic way, that regret, if held on to and protect, is like a sponge. Soaking up evert minute of the future dwelling on things you can not change.
Interesting.
Comment Written 26-Mar-2009
Comment from moosegal
Exceptionally well stated! You used such powerful words to describe regret - ravaging, pointing fingers of blame - and then all the ensuing doubt, shame, our debt. Big wow. Great job!
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Exceptionally well stated! You used such powerful words to describe regret - ravaging, pointing fingers of blame - and then all the ensuing doubt, shame, our debt. Big wow. Great job!
Comment Written 26-Mar-2009
Comment from medicnate
Wow, difficult undertaking, but you pulled it off nicely. I like the flow of this poem, it is an easy one to read. Great message. Loved this line: This rue-monger lingers--our hopes to maim, very cool.
I really like the picture.
Nice job here.
~medicnate~
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Wow, difficult undertaking, but you pulled it off nicely. I like the flow of this poem, it is an easy one to read. Great message. Loved this line: This rue-monger lingers--our hopes to maim, very cool.
I really like the picture.
Nice job here.
~medicnate~
Comment Written 26-Mar-2009
Comment from words
Good use of the form!
Loved the closing stanza:
Thieving our time, the present is met
With lapses of loss which we cannot reclaim
Beware the ravages of regret
Deny that liar the air of its threat
Loved the sentiment that you expressed and the-re-occuring line: denying that liar the air of its threat.
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Good use of the form!
Loved the closing stanza:
Thieving our time, the present is met
With lapses of loss which we cannot reclaim
Beware the ravages of regret
Deny that liar the air of its threat
Loved the sentiment that you expressed and the-re-occuring line: denying that liar the air of its threat.
Comment Written 26-Mar-2009
Comment from glacierbabe
Holy Cow! LOL That is a tough form and you did a magnificent job with it. To me a paints a picture of the lies the American people are being fed about putting our country is such debt. The poem is wonderfully written and I enjoyed the read. Well done. :)
reply by the author on 26-Mar-2009
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Holy Cow! LOL That is a tough form and you did a magnificent job with it. To me a paints a picture of the lies the American people are being fed about putting our country is such debt. The poem is wonderfully written and I enjoyed the read. Well done. :)
Comment Written 26-Mar-2009
reply by the author on 26-Mar-2009
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Oh, hell yes. We're going to rue the day we let our politicians seize power the way they are now. I do worry about it every day. Watch out for some serious inflation to come, as they make our dollar worthless. Don't even get me started!! So glad you enjoyed my poem. And thank you for your very generous review. Always, Sue :-))
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Don't worry. I preach from the same soapbox you do. :)
Comment from jmyron
I like it. You follow the villanelle format well and have no criticism of form or style. What most appeals to me is the philosophy within the storyline. I am a very conservative person, and I see liberals every day try to blame America and Americans for every problem in the world, trying to blame us for 9-11, well, you get the picture. Although I had not put it to your fine words, I can honestly echo your thoughts:
'Beware the ravages of regret
Deny that liar the air of its threat'
John
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I like it. You follow the villanelle format well and have no criticism of form or style. What most appeals to me is the philosophy within the storyline. I am a very conservative person, and I see liberals every day try to blame America and Americans for every problem in the world, trying to blame us for 9-11, well, you get the picture. Although I had not put it to your fine words, I can honestly echo your thoughts:
'Beware the ravages of regret
Deny that liar the air of its threat'
John
Comment Written 26-Mar-2009
Comment from sharon fallis
When my mind was working better I used to write villanelle poems. I also love that poem by Dylan Thomas. This is a well thought out and portrayed poem in it exact villanelle form. Very good word choices and usage. I must give you a 'virtual six' for this one. Great visuals and imagery. Sharon
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When my mind was working better I used to write villanelle poems. I also love that poem by Dylan Thomas. This is a well thought out and portrayed poem in it exact villanelle form. Very good word choices and usage. I must give you a 'virtual six' for this one. Great visuals and imagery. Sharon
Comment Written 26-Mar-2009
Comment from Joan E.
Yes, it does resonate Dylan Thomas and it seems song-like. I enjoyed the key lines repeating and your personification of "regret" and your "arrow" metaphor. I also liked your use of alliteration through out the poem. As usual, the picture you chose was terrific.
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Yes, it does resonate Dylan Thomas and it seems song-like. I enjoyed the key lines repeating and your personification of "regret" and your "arrow" metaphor. I also liked your use of alliteration through out the poem. As usual, the picture you chose was terrific.
Comment Written 26-Mar-2009
Comment from rama devi
oooohhhh! A lovely and wisdom-filled villanelle. These are not easy to write and I am much impressed! This has mature insight into human psychology, so well expressed!
Loved the closing:
Thieving our time, the present is met
With lapses of loss which we cannot reclaim
Beware the ravages of regret
Deny that liar the air of its threat
Musically sound and meaningfully rich, this is a gem.
Strong presentation with apt artwork as well.
What an artist you are, dear Sue~ Great composition.
Love, rd
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oooohhhh! A lovely and wisdom-filled villanelle. These are not easy to write and I am much impressed! This has mature insight into human psychology, so well expressed!
Loved the closing:
Thieving our time, the present is met
With lapses of loss which we cannot reclaim
Beware the ravages of regret
Deny that liar the air of its threat
Musically sound and meaningfully rich, this is a gem.
Strong presentation with apt artwork as well.
What an artist you are, dear Sue~ Great composition.
Love, rd
Comment Written 26-Mar-2009
Comment from rhymelord
Dear Sue,
Despite the lack of a formal metric scheme, you have made this poem read very fluidly and, once, examined (I did not read the notes first -- never do -- always forget) the rhyme format is quite charming, but then if Dylan Thomas used it, say no more. Therefore, to my chagrin, I can find no nits at all and can only say I enjoyed it.
Regards
Reg
reply by the author on 26-Mar-2009
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Dear Sue,
Despite the lack of a formal metric scheme, you have made this poem read very fluidly and, once, examined (I did not read the notes first -- never do -- always forget) the rhyme format is quite charming, but then if Dylan Thomas used it, say no more. Therefore, to my chagrin, I can find no nits at all and can only say I enjoyed it.
Regards
Reg
Comment Written 26-Mar-2009
reply by the author on 26-Mar-2009
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Hyena 3/Lioness 3 - Reg, I'm really happy you like this one. It's a tough form to work with, but I persevered. This is the first time I have written a high structured poem not requiring a meter. How fun that was!! Thanks for commenting on how you felt it read well. And thank you for your very generous review. Sue