CSP: A Collection of Poems
Viewing comments for Chapter 42 "Tangible Hope"A collection of poetry
57 total reviews
Comment from Perp Ihebom
A nice poem. But i could not understand who took the poet persona's hand, tipped her chin and kissed her lips. Is it THE LOSS THAT SHE WAS ALONE WITH? Nice rhymes. kudos
reply by the author on 24-Feb-2009
A nice poem. But i could not understand who took the poet persona's hand, tipped her chin and kissed her lips. Is it THE LOSS THAT SHE WAS ALONE WITH? Nice rhymes. kudos
Comment Written 24-Feb-2009
reply by the author on 24-Feb-2009
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Hi Perp, in the 3rd line where it says, "overruled", that's the turn. Went from "reluctance" holding my heart to a new love (he) overruled the reluctance and took my hand. Usually, the turn will happen at the beginning of a new stanza, and maybe since it happened in 3rd line of poem, it was too subtle. Anyway, I didn't want to dedicate an entire stanza to the "negative' and went straight to the "positive". Hope that helps. Thanks for bring it up. Something for me to think about. And thanks for your very kind review. With regards, Sue
Comment from Nedrajean
I so enjoy your work. You have shown an imaginative streak that I respect - the transition from sadness to joy in this poem is such a growing process. Most enjoyable.
I so enjoy your work. You have shown an imaginative streak that I respect - the transition from sadness to joy in this poem is such a growing process. Most enjoyable.
Comment Written 23-Feb-2009
Comment from honeytree
Wonderful art work here. I guess through out our lives we learn by our mistakes. We eventually find love that will last forever.
I loved everywords written.
Honeytree.
Wonderful art work here. I guess through out our lives we learn by our mistakes. We eventually find love that will last forever.
I loved everywords written.
Honeytree.
Comment Written 23-Feb-2009
Comment from SherryHo
This is a beautifully written poem. It could be a love poem for a man or of ones God. It could truly speak of both. Well written.
No SPAG found.
This is a beautifully written poem. It could be a love poem for a man or of ones God. It could truly speak of both. Well written.
No SPAG found.
Comment Written 23-Feb-2009
Comment from bard owl
This is such an upbeat tribute to love. It just takes one ounce of love to make a gallon of hope and comfort. Excellent imagery in this one. Sorry you have been ill. Hope you are better by now. Looking forward to communicating with you again. Blessings to you, Linda
This is such an upbeat tribute to love. It just takes one ounce of love to make a gallon of hope and comfort. Excellent imagery in this one. Sorry you have been ill. Hope you are better by now. Looking forward to communicating with you again. Blessings to you, Linda
Comment Written 23-Feb-2009
Comment from jshep
Something we could all hope for in our lives, that loving dedication from someone who says 'trust me, all will be well.' Excellent flow and rhyme and metaphors. Great job, Sue. Hope you are better. I have been the same way for over a week, so know where you are coming from.
His presence rids my pain- in holding with the tense I might suggest -his presence rid the pain.
Excellent message. Joyce
Something we could all hope for in our lives, that loving dedication from someone who says 'trust me, all will be well.' Excellent flow and rhyme and metaphors. Great job, Sue. Hope you are better. I have been the same way for over a week, so know where you are coming from.
His presence rids my pain- in holding with the tense I might suggest -his presence rid the pain.
Excellent message. Joyce
Comment Written 23-Feb-2009
Comment from XR15
Hi Sue
I like the naughty picture for this one (and no mention of adult content lol). Once again I am very impressed.
Sorry to hear you've not been well. Hope you're now on the mend.
Cheers
Chris
PS - I know - sonnet - It will happen - I've been very busy with stuff for my other life - writing songs - one of which I've posted here.
reply by the author on 23-Feb-2009
Hi Sue
I like the naughty picture for this one (and no mention of adult content lol). Once again I am very impressed.
Sorry to hear you've not been well. Hope you're now on the mend.
Cheers
Chris
PS - I know - sonnet - It will happen - I've been very busy with stuff for my other life - writing songs - one of which I've posted here.
Comment Written 23-Feb-2009
reply by the author on 23-Feb-2009
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Been waiting a long while for that sonnet, but patient! :-)) I will have to read your song!. Going over there now. "Breasts" for art's sake - Ha! Thanks for your great review. Let me know when your sonnet is ready! Sue
Comment from Hitcher
He tipped my chin and kissed my lips
Clouds emptied with the rain
The sun no longer in eclipse
his presence rids my pain.
By far the best stanza Sue,
very accomplished friend.
I have that gift, ha ha
I shit you not, ask the wife,
I am the magic man!
Very enjoyable!
reply by the author on 23-Feb-2009
He tipped my chin and kissed my lips
Clouds emptied with the rain
The sun no longer in eclipse
his presence rids my pain.
By far the best stanza Sue,
very accomplished friend.
I have that gift, ha ha
I shit you not, ask the wife,
I am the magic man!
Very enjoyable!
Comment Written 23-Feb-2009
reply by the author on 23-Feb-2009
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I'm going to ask your wife a LOT! Ha! (the true inside scoop of the Hitch). I think I would believe you since you have mentioned velvet and such :-)) Thanks for the review, Hitch. Already knew that would be your favourite stanza! :-)) Sue
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Over a bottle or two of wine, I'm sure you would find out a lot from her Sue, ha ha
Comment from rhymelord
Sue,
I hope all is well with you now. I noticed you had not reviewed any of my works, which is unusual for you, but I was pleased to see your feisty reply to my latest inane reviews of your work. Get fit soon. We need poets like you who can produce such beautiful verse as this. HOWEVER, I believe the penultimate line of the last verse is lacking just one little beat, to match the scansion of the penultimate lines of the previous verses. Nevertheless, the quality of the remainder is outstanding.
Regards
Reg
reply by the author on 23-Feb-2009
Sue,
I hope all is well with you now. I noticed you had not reviewed any of my works, which is unusual for you, but I was pleased to see your feisty reply to my latest inane reviews of your work. Get fit soon. We need poets like you who can produce such beautiful verse as this. HOWEVER, I believe the penultimate line of the last verse is lacking just one little beat, to match the scansion of the penultimate lines of the previous verses. Nevertheless, the quality of the remainder is outstanding.
Regards
Reg
Comment Written 23-Feb-2009
reply by the author on 23-Feb-2009
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Blah, blah, blah!!! :-)) Rhymelord, I'm noticing a pattern when you have a nit with one of my lines. It seems to be when I have a very soft and subtle syllable. No beat missing in that line, but there is a soft syllable in Lazarus. Ha! See me trying to get around it again? :-)) I do appreciate your close reads,( even though you're a pain! ) - Seriously, I always appreciate your close read and care for one's poetry to be refined. I tried very hard to change that line, but HAD to keep it! What's an artist to do? Thanks so much for your great review, compliments and honesty. Always appreciated, Reg -- Sue
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OK, OK, you have won again, but don't get too complacent. I'll getcha!!
Best regards
Reg
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Ha! The lion has conquered the hyena again! LOL!!! :-))
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Be afraid -- Be VERY afraid!! It is a little known fact, but hyenas have longer memories than elephants.
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WHOA! I did not know that!! Uh-oh!.......
Comment from NightWriter
"Tangible Hope" is another very beautifully written poem. It reads so smooth due to it's perfect rhythm and rhyming from beginning to end. Well done.
reply by the author on 24-Feb-2009
"Tangible Hope" is another very beautifully written poem. It reads so smooth due to it's perfect rhythm and rhyming from beginning to end. Well done.
Comment Written 23-Feb-2009
reply by the author on 24-Feb-2009
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NightWriter, thanks for your very generous review and kind compliments. Am so pleased you liked this poem. With warm regards, Sue