Comment from Scarlettdreams

Excellent

Sadly there are probably more people who suffer in such a way as this than we can know. You capture the pain well here. Bravo Bravo

 Comment Written 15-Feb-2009

Comment from Joan E.

Exceptional

Starting with your title and Dali-like picture choice, this poem is quite evocative. The alliteration of those fresh words in stanza two was very effective and the perfect rhyme scheme and internal rhyme were amazing.

 Comment Written 15-Feb-2009

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reply by the author on 16-Feb-2009

Joan, sorry for the late response. If I leave for even a day, the work mounts up like a full-time job! HA!!

I was so thrilled to see your 'exceptional' review of this poem.
I learned a lot when I wrote this one. The chosen rhyme scheme helped me feel quite free. Cannot explain it. But, isn't it wonderful to know when you've made another small breakthrough. I felt that in this and for you to read it exactly that way is so very special.

Yes, isn't that artwork amazing!
Again, thank you very much for your very close read (as usual) and most generous review.

Sue

reply by Joan E. on 16-Feb-2009

It is always satisfying to know that, as the reader, you actually understand what the writer is trying to communicate. Thank you for letting me know that I got it right. I am pleased that you were able to write so well in a poem that is so significant to you, as well.

Comment from Kingsland

Excellent

I liked the way you put this piece together in form and format as it only tended to enhance a well written verse. You have have written this piece with an excellent flow and imagery. this was just a delight to have read and reviewed it... John

 Comment Written 15-Feb-2009

Comment from howling harp

Excellent

this is really really good. i love the journey that the supposedly healed person goes on. it leaves a dark eimpression at the end with out and obvious positive twist. naybe thats how life is, without the happy ending. nice job

 Comment Written 14-Feb-2009

Comment from Kentucky Sweet Pea

Excellent

hey there!!!

this is an awesome poem! i could only find one mistake in it and this is it:

they lie or lay benign; not lied**

if you want to use past-tense use laid***

serious poetry here, g/f! it's soul searching and you have nailed pain to a tee.

pea

 Comment Written 14-Feb-2009

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reply by the author on 14-Feb-2009

Dang it, I always misuse those words. Thank you SO much for pointing me in the right direction! Thanks for our most generous compliments and review, Pea....Sue :-))

reply by Kentucky Sweet Pea on 14-Feb-2009

you are very welcome. ;)

Comment from FredCollingwood

Excellent

Here's how you can reconcile the past: "Yesterday's news is today's fishwrapper." Forget about it--it's history. As always, I love your poetry.

 Comment Written 14-Feb-2009

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reply by the author on 14-Feb-2009

Well, it took me a few years to reconcile a few things from my youth. But finally got past that. But, I'm still a bit of a loner and my friends call me "Greta", as in Greta Garbo who used that famous line, "I want to be alone". HA! Always happy to have you stop by, Fred. Thanks for your very kind compliment and review. Always, Sue :-)

reply by FredCollingwood on 14-Feb-2009

You're not shy on here. I think you're cool! You have a clean slate on FS. Put whatever you wont on it. You can define yourself haowever you want.

reply by the author on 14-Feb-2009

I've never been shy. Just a bit of a loner. If I'm in a room full of people, I can work a room like a piece of cake. But, I guess I just choose not to do that very often.

But, you're right. I do have a clean slate here on FS and that is what has been such an awesome experience. I have never bared myself like this in my life. Ever!
And I don't even think twice about it now. Writing is awesome!!

And I think that YOU are cool, also!
:-)) Sue

Comment from MJMuraco

Excellent

Sue, again, you have written an excellent poem. It had great rhyme and rhythm and truly expressed your feelings. Could these feelings have surfaced because it is Valentine's day?

 Comment Written 14-Feb-2009

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reply by the author on 14-Feb-2009

No, actually, I'm feeling most excellent. Odd as it may seem, even to me, I write my best "lost" and "depressing" works when I'm feeling really good. I think it's because I can reflect on days of depression with clarity. In fact, Valentine's Day has not affected me in the slightest. It's only Christmas that can get to me. Thanks so much for your very kind review. Sue

Comment from Annelisa

Excellent

This is a very powerful, emotional poem. I love that you delivered it with a rhyme sheme that didn't lighten the mood. Annelisa

 Comment Written 14-Feb-2009

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reply by the author on 14-Feb-2009

Good point about the rhyme scheme. I am very selective about which one I use, but didn't do this was consciously. But, you're right, it does stay in keeping with the subject. Thanks for highlighting that. Always helpful for the future writing. And thank you for your very kind review. Sue

Comment from mermaids

Excellent

excellent work about dealing with previous wounds and hurts,can be a therapeutic piece of writing for many, you create an atmsophere that describes the feeling exactly, well written

 Comment Written 14-Feb-2009

Comment from Margaret Snowdon

Excellent

This is a first-rate piece
of verse, Sue - it has a
a smooth flow to the words
and perfect rhythm and rhyme
throughout - and what an
amazing piece of art.

Very well penned, my friend.

Margaret.

 Comment Written 14-Feb-2009