Comment from Jazh

Excellent

This is a very nice, clear portrait of war, through the eyes of one soldier. Great detail and vivid descriptions and I particularly like the image "There is pain beneath this dirt" - very evocative. Well done. :)

 Comment Written 02-Feb-2009

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reply by the author on 02-Feb-2009

Hi Jazh, how many few hours of sleep do you get?? It's only 5:30 in the morning there! I know you have that long drive...you most certainly "soldier on"! Thanks for your great review....Always, Sue

reply by Jazh on 02-Feb-2009

:) Good morning. Yes, it's now about 5.45am actually. Yesterday, Khy started catching the bus from our little town into Bundaberg...so we have to leave home at 6.45am. Then, Tony goes out a couple of hours later....it's like a taxi company here. :) I sit at the computer as I pass between disconnecting the enteral feed and walking the rottweiler.....

Comment from TinyTeena

Excellent

There does seem to be a regular beat to the poem - giving the feeling of a soldier on constant alert - looking around ready to protect himself. Great description of what he's doing, wearing, seeing. Rhyming flows well, unforced.
A very experienced soldier -
"'cause these worn-out boots and compass
Have akways been with me."
he has survived because he has been trained well, remembered what he learnt and practiced it.

 Comment Written 02-Feb-2009

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reply by the author on 02-Feb-2009

thanks so much for commenting on the rhythm matching the story. I did try to find one which would do it justice. Yes, we learn from our parents and then on our experiences. Those boots always serve us well! Thanks much for your great review. Sue

Comment from JoAnna Lee

Excellent

Well done! Good rhyme and rhythm throughout... and great descriptions. I liked the ending, too.

recon -- reckon (typo)

Thanks for sharing,
Donna (my daughter is Air Force)

PS - Did you draw thie picture?

 Comment Written 02-Feb-2009

Comment from rhymer1

Excellent

No set mater? Who cares. You have flow. That is what counts. The metaphor of war for life is an apt one, but in spite of your displayed sense of humor, a bit depressing. Such does not detract from the display of your talent with the crafts of rhyme and meter (flow). slainte, rhymer1

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 Comment Written 02-Feb-2009

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reply by the author on 02-Feb-2009

Well, you've got to keep just a hint of humor going even in the midst of life's battles, as it can get depressing at times. But, we do keep on. I put "no set meter" because some reviewers will try to figure it out. So, give them a heads up first. :-)) Thanks much for your very kind review. Much appreciated, Sue

Comment from jeslaf

Excellent

You speak well of the battles we fight along the journey, and the tools we use to get through them that grow seasoned, like old leather boots, with time. Soldier on, poet! :)



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 Comment Written 02-Feb-2009