Comment from JSD

Excellent

Excellently assured handling of unforced rhyme and rhythm. This trips along spookily and is a great Halloween story. I think it should be 'betters' not 'bettors' but otherwise well done.

 Comment Written 29-Oct-2023

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reply by the author on 30-Oct-2023

Thanks for the review, John. Bettors or betters are both accepted. A glass of bitters might be in order.

reply by JSD on 30-Oct-2023

Well. Learn something new every day. Sorry. X

reply by the author on 30-Oct-2023

No need to be sorry. I always appreciate your input.

Comment from jenintorre

Exceptional

A fabulous Halloween story and surely a winner. A very fast paced poem about Ned McKey with excellent rhyme. I love it! Good luck and Best wishes. Jen.

 Comment Written 29-Oct-2023

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reply by the author on 30-Oct-2023

Thanks, Jen. There really is a race track in Union, Maine. I have squandered a few dollars there, myself.

Comment from pome lover

Excellent

Congratulations on your milestone post.
That was some story.
I would like to say two things if I may.
One, why not say "ridden" instead of "driven," in the first stanza?
And, to me the perfect place to have ended this poem was with that great line, 'Today, he had finished dead first." great line.
And just a thought.
Katharine

 Comment Written 29-Oct-2023

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reply by the author on 30-Oct-2023

Thanks for the review, Katherine. I use the word, driven, because these are sulky races. That's the only type of horse racing that we have in Maine.

reply by pome lover on 30-Oct-2023

well, I wondered about that, but the picture showed a horse race so I assumed ....

reply by the author on 30-Oct-2023

Sorry, I couldn't find a picture of sulky racing.

Comment from Sarita Méndez

Excellent

I'm not familiar with horse races, but your poem perfectly describes what happens there. Poor Phantom, what a sad fate...
This is a very well written poem, that fit the theme with your last verses.
Thank you for sharing and good luck for the contest.

 Comment Written 29-Oct-2023

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reply by the author on 30-Oct-2023

Thanks, Sarita. I'm going to swing over to the track tomorrow night to see if they are racing this year.

Comment from barbara.wilkey

Excellent

Congratulations on your 100-milestone post. This contest entry is a great post to receive it on. I enjoyed reading. This is a very creative post for a Halloween entry. I doubt you'll need it, but good luck with the contest.

 Comment Written 29-Oct-2023

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reply by the author on 30-Oct-2023

Thanks, Barb. I can always use good luck wishes.

Comment from Neonewman

Excellent

Oh, man! I love this well-crafted piece with an awesome end. Chilling, but I would be the guy in the woods at midnight just to see such a sight.
Thank you for sharing your talent.
God bless,
Steve

 Comment Written 29-Oct-2023

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reply by the author on 30-Oct-2023

Thanks, Steve. I'm going over tomorrow night to take a peek.

reply by Neonewman on 30-Oct-2023

Nice, my pleasure, Paul

Comment from Lea Tonin1

Excellent

Wow! I've never heard of a haunted race track before. You made it super spooky! After all that the race track closes too late. One would think there'd be something there. After all there are some very important horse people there! It spoke me out really good with this one. Having to die over again when he done it already has got to suck! I quite enjoyed this one thank you for this submission I think it's a strong one without issue or error have a great day!

 Comment Written 29-Oct-2023

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reply by the author on 30-Oct-2023

Thanks, Lea. There really is a race track in Union, Maine on route seventeen. I think I'll sneak over tomorrow night.

Comment from Daylily

Excellent

Congratulations on your 100th posting and this excellent entry!

I am glad it is about horses since I have been horse crazy all my life. I was also fortunate to be the happy owner of several over the years. Not any more, though.

While I have only seen horse races on TV, when I was ten, my grandfather took me to a race track early in the morning and we went back to the barn area. I was able to see many of the horses up close. It was the highlight of that entire year. Smiles, Lily

 Comment Written 29-Oct-2023

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reply by the author on 30-Oct-2023

Thanks for the review, Lily. I have gone to that track many times. I always had a problem with picking winners.

Comment from Jacob1395

Excellent

I enjoyed reading this piece, and I loved the rhyme and how you built up to how the horses and their riders return as ghosts on Halloween night to race again. I really enjoyed it. Good luck in the contest.

 Comment Written 29-Oct-2023

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reply by the author on 30-Oct-2023

Thanks, Jacob. Tomorrow night is Halloween. I might sneak over to the track to see what's going on.

Comment from lancellot

Excellent

Hmm, this is an interesting poetic story. At the beginning I wasn't sure how this would tie into Halloween, unless the horse and jockey were dead or died. But then they died. The alternating rhyme and overall tale is good. I do wonder if the length may be a bit too long. Your choice.

Good luck in the contest.

 Comment Written 29-Oct-2023

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reply by the author on 30-Oct-2023

Thanks for the review, Lance. I did wonder about the length, but I couldn't see where to cut anything.