April NaPoWriMo NationalPoetcontest
Viewing comments for Chapter 13 "Astral Travelling"Daily poems for April 2018
24 total reviews
Comment from Mary Hollingsworth
Chrissy thank you for sharing your outer body experiences with us the readers who reviews of your work. Thank you for letting us tag along with you and see all the various things that you saw and then safely landing back again and then waiting for the next trip. I'm sure that your first few trips were scary. But after awhile after making so many you became a professional pilot. Lol. Thanks for sharing. Very good rhythm and rhyme and interesting content.
reply by the author on 20-Apr-2018
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Chrissy thank you for sharing your outer body experiences with us the readers who reviews of your work. Thank you for letting us tag along with you and see all the various things that you saw and then safely landing back again and then waiting for the next trip. I'm sure that your first few trips were scary. But after awhile after making so many you became a professional pilot. Lol. Thanks for sharing. Very good rhythm and rhyme and interesting content.
Comment Written 19-Apr-2018
reply by the author on 20-Apr-2018
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Hi Mary, Thank you and yes quite an experience unexplained but accepted . I am not sure if I wpuld get my pilots licence just yet LOL Glad to have shared this with you your review is encouraging Cheers Christine
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my pleasure
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my pleasure
Comment from PoemsOfDD
Chrissy, I enjoyed reading this interesting Astral Travel poem. I am sure this is possible, there are books written on the subject. Therefore, you are not alone and others have and possibly do practice such experiences.
Just a comment on the following, if I may. Looking at your abcb rhyme scheme and 8686 syllable count, I thought I would make a suggestion here and there - as shown in ( ) as it seemed to have gone off course slightly in a couple of areas.
Some nights I leave my (own) body
and let my spirit fly,
way out above the universe
look down as I go by.
I soar through many cities
with arms outstretched I glide,
my body feels so weightless
all worries left (aside.)
The stars I touch,(insert space) the moon caress
then back to earth (return),
fly back into my body shell
this flight,(insert space) I must adjourn.
Just food for thought. Thank you for sharing. ~DD
reply by the author on 19-Apr-2018
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Chrissy, I enjoyed reading this interesting Astral Travel poem. I am sure this is possible, there are books written on the subject. Therefore, you are not alone and others have and possibly do practice such experiences.
Just a comment on the following, if I may. Looking at your abcb rhyme scheme and 8686 syllable count, I thought I would make a suggestion here and there - as shown in ( ) as it seemed to have gone off course slightly in a couple of areas.
Some nights I leave my (own) body
and let my spirit fly,
way out above the universe
look down as I go by.
I soar through many cities
with arms outstretched I glide,
my body feels so weightless
all worries left (aside.)
The stars I touch,(insert space) the moon caress
then back to earth (return),
fly back into my body shell
this flight,(insert space) I must adjourn.
Just food for thought. Thank you for sharing. ~DD
Comment Written 19-Apr-2018
reply by the author on 19-Apr-2018
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Hi DD Thank you so very much for your review and helpful suggestions I have made the changes and now it does read much better. Sometimes I ponder over the rhyme and it takes some fresh eyes to assist Much appreciation An yes cant explain but it happened many times to me. Have a great day Cheers Christine
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Hi DD Thank you so very much for your review and helpful suggestions I have made the changes and now it does read much better. Sometimes I ponder over the rhyme and it takes some fresh eyes to assist Much appreciation An yes cant explain but it happened many times to me. Have a great day Cheers Christine
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Chrissy, I know what you mean. Sometimes we read our own work over and over that we miss the obvious mistakes. It was my pleasure to help. ~DD
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Cheers ++++
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Chrissy, just one more suggestion -
?then (home) to earth return?.
~DDx
Comment from Pamusart
Hi, Christine. This is my favorite of your poems that I have seen this month. I do believe in astral travel and like you have experienced it. I never left earth. But I did visit a sister I had not seen for awhile. She was asleep. The next day she called and said she was just thinking about me for some reason so she decided to call. I, like you wrote a poem about it. Yours is more upbeat. Thank you for sharing
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reply by the author on 19-Apr-2018
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Hi, Christine. This is my favorite of your poems that I have seen this month. I do believe in astral travel and like you have experienced it. I never left earth. But I did visit a sister I had not seen for awhile. She was asleep. The next day she called and said she was just thinking about me for some reason so she decided to call. I, like you wrote a poem about it. Yours is more upbeat. Thank you for sharing
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The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 19-Apr-2018
reply by the author on 19-Apr-2018
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Hi Pam Oh Thank you I was afraid people would think I had gone mad LOL and yes this is different and it jist came to me as I recalled my feelings of this strange 'thing' Glad to know others are out there. Yes there is much more than we know Thanks for your review and story Cheers Christine.
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Hi Pam Oh Thank you I was afraid people would think I had gone mad LOL and yes this is different and it jist came to me as I recalled my feelings of this strange 'thing' Glad to know others are out there. Yes there is much more than we know Thanks for your review and story Cheers Christine.
Comment from Harry Smith
Beautifully presented and beautifully written is this poem that is filled with lots of emotions as well as lots and lots of imagery. The reader really enjoyed the read.
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reply by the author on 19-Apr-2018
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Beautifully presented and beautifully written is this poem that is filled with lots of emotions as well as lots and lots of imagery. The reader really enjoyed the read.
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The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 19-Apr-2018
reply by the author on 19-Apr-2018
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Hi Harry Thank you for reading my poem I am pleased you liked this and it was an experience. Cheers Christine
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Hi Harry Thank you for reading my poem I am pleased you liked this and it was an experience. Cheers Christine