Out On a Limb For Love
No Time For Reasoning51 total reviews
Comment from Gert sherwood
H,
Jay you had me right at the edge hanging on the limb for dear life reading you flash fiction
Hoping that dad doesn't pull the trigger
and what you said at the start said in the start
They'll come around. We'd laughed about it. Once it's born, they'll accept me.
Sounds darn promising to me
Gert
reply by the author on 15-Apr-2017
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H,
Jay you had me right at the edge hanging on the limb for dear life reading you flash fiction
Hoping that dad doesn't pull the trigger
and what you said at the start said in the start
They'll come around. We'd laughed about it. Once it's born, they'll accept me.
Sounds darn promising to me
Gert
Comment Written 15-Apr-2017
reply by the author on 15-Apr-2017
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Bless you, Gert. I'm so happy you enjoyed the read. Thank you for your generous review.
Jay
Comment from c_lucas
You will probably take some flack over using the "N" word. This is very well written with a smooth flow of words, making for a very good read. Good luck in your contest.
reply by the author on 15-Apr-2017
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You will probably take some flack over using the "N" word. This is very well written with a smooth flow of words, making for a very good read. Good luck in your contest.
Comment Written 15-Apr-2017
reply by the author on 15-Apr-2017
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So far, no flack. Thanks for reading it, Charlie. I appreciate your well-wishes.
Comment from bookishfabler
Wow, that was strong for so few words. You painted the whole picture. I'm kinda liking these short drabble flash fiction. Like poetry without the rhyme and reason.Good job
hugs Heidi
reply by the author on 15-Apr-2017
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Wow, that was strong for so few words. You painted the whole picture. I'm kinda liking these short drabble flash fiction. Like poetry without the rhyme and reason.Good job
hugs Heidi
Comment Written 15-Apr-2017
reply by the author on 15-Apr-2017
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Bless you, Heidi. I'm thrilled you found this meaningful. It was held together by a lot of sweat.
Comment from catch22
Wow Jay, this is so hard hitting and socially relevant it is refreshing to read. You took on racism and cruelty in the name of a religion in this short and tense write. I am most impressed with how much ground you covered in so few words.
reply by the author on 15-Apr-2017
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Wow Jay, this is so hard hitting and socially relevant it is refreshing to read. You took on racism and cruelty in the name of a religion in this short and tense write. I am most impressed with how much ground you covered in so few words.
Comment Written 15-Apr-2017
reply by the author on 15-Apr-2017
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This is such a generous gesture from someone whose words I respect. Thank you so very much!
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You are very welcome and kind.
Comment from Mastery
Good entry here, Jay. I am a bit confused about her waiting with bag packed just to have daddy instantly there it seems with the good old shotgun. LOL. A dope tp elope it seems. LOL.. good job and good luck in the contest, my friend. Bob
reply by the author on 15-Apr-2017
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Good entry here, Jay. I am a bit confused about her waiting with bag packed just to have daddy instantly there it seems with the good old shotgun. LOL. A dope tp elope it seems. LOL.. good job and good luck in the contest, my friend. Bob
Comment Written 15-Apr-2017
reply by the author on 15-Apr-2017
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Yeah, with 50 words, one can only hint at this and that. Thanks for reviewing and the good wishes.
Comment from Margaret Snowdon
A great piece of dribble flash fiction, Jay, telling the whole story.
A love between mixed race/colour, with a baby on the way
then the father coming after the lover with a shotgun -
such a sad ending - good luck with the contest, my friend.
Margaret
reply by the author on 15-Apr-2017
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A great piece of dribble flash fiction, Jay, telling the whole story.
A love between mixed race/colour, with a baby on the way
then the father coming after the lover with a shotgun -
such a sad ending - good luck with the contest, my friend.
Margaret
Comment Written 15-Apr-2017
reply by the author on 15-Apr-2017
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Thanks, Margaret. Yeah, elopements were popular in the past. You don't hear much about them nowadays.
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No, many just live in sin, as the saying goes, altho what does a bit of paper prove - it's what's between the two of you that counts.
M
Comment from robyn corum
Jay,
This is a really good drabble flash fiction piece. It tells quite a story in just a few words; I can see far beyond the edges of the page. *smile* Thanks for sharing and good luck!
reply by the author on 15-Apr-2017
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Jay,
This is a really good drabble flash fiction piece. It tells quite a story in just a few words; I can see far beyond the edges of the page. *smile* Thanks for sharing and good luck!
Comment Written 15-Apr-2017
reply by the author on 15-Apr-2017
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You got that right about the edges of the page. Given only 50 words, the reader has to participate and most is left outside the page. I appreciate your well-wishes.
Jay
Comment from write hand blue
Nice one, in so few words you convey the story with great visual and colour. We have it all, the romance, the conflict of mixed races, and finally the father's shotgun, about to do damage under misguided religious convictions.
Good luck in the contest.
Mel.
reply by the author on 15-Apr-2017
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Nice one, in so few words you convey the story with great visual and colour. We have it all, the romance, the conflict of mixed races, and finally the father's shotgun, about to do damage under misguided religious convictions.
Good luck in the contest.
Mel.
Comment Written 15-Apr-2017
reply by the author on 15-Apr-2017
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You hit on all the major points, Mel. Thank you for reading and your generous remarks and ratings.
Comment from Sandra Stoner-Mitchell
I'm so pleased some had a 6 left, Jay, this was a brilliant piece of dribble flash fiction, superb. It had the whole story and left me with an 'OH!' when I read the end. My word, it had everything yet it was so short, that is talent, my friend. It really makes me cringe when I think how white people thought they could do what they wanted to coloured people and believe God would approve. I wish you the best of luck in the contest and won't be at all surprised to see it win. :) Sandra xxx
reply by the author on 15-Apr-2017
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I'm so pleased some had a 6 left, Jay, this was a brilliant piece of dribble flash fiction, superb. It had the whole story and left me with an 'OH!' when I read the end. My word, it had everything yet it was so short, that is talent, my friend. It really makes me cringe when I think how white people thought they could do what they wanted to coloured people and believe God would approve. I wish you the best of luck in the contest and won't be at all surprised to see it win. :) Sandra xxx
Comment Written 15-Apr-2017
reply by the author on 15-Apr-2017
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Bless you, Sandra. You are so kind, and it's thrilling that you were able to carry something away from it. As Robyn said, with only 50 words, much has to be left outside the margins of the page. Again, you are appreciated.
Jay
Comment from apky
Terrific show that beats any tell out there.
The pregnancy
The desperate lovers, the girl believing the baby will be
their peace negotiations asset
The escape attempt
And good old pa there with his shotgun and religious convictions.
Well done for making this an entire panoramic story.
reply by the author on 15-Apr-2017
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Terrific show that beats any tell out there.
The pregnancy
The desperate lovers, the girl believing the baby will be
their peace negotiations asset
The escape attempt
And good old pa there with his shotgun and religious convictions.
Well done for making this an entire panoramic story.
Comment Written 15-Apr-2017
reply by the author on 15-Apr-2017
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You are so generous, Apky, with your thoughts and your rating. I am SO appreciative.
Jay
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Deservedly, Jay.