Comment from nordicgirl

Exceptional

Well, Mikey, I happen to know there is more than a little true life here. The direction it looks like you are taking it is fpr sure fiction. I may tell, it depends if I csn bribe upu I suppose. :)) NG

 Comment Written 17-Jul-2016

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reply by the author on 15-Aug-2016

Thanks for the great input and your thoughts. A lot of fact mixed in here. Sorry to be so late with this response, I do appreciate your time in reviewing. Thanks a million. mikey :))

Comment from Sandra du Plessis

Excellent

A great introduction to a love story, making the wrong choice and thirty years later you meet up with your true first love again.

 Comment Written 17-Jul-2016

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reply by the author on 15-Aug-2016

Thanks for the great input and your thoughts. A lot of fact mixed in here. Sorry to be so late with this response, I do appreciate your time in reviewing. Thanks a million. mikey :))

Comment from barbara.wilkey

Excellent

This could be turned into a wonderfully romantic love story or it could turn into a great Country Western of love done wrong. LOL Anyway, I really enjoyed reading.

 Comment Written 17-Jul-2016

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reply by the author on 15-Aug-2016

Thanks for the great input and your thoughts. A lot of fact mixed in here. Sorry to be so late with this response, I do appreciate your time in reviewing. Thanks a million. mikey :))

Comment from ciliverde

Excellent

Wow, she came looking for you thirty years later! She owed you, but for what, exactly? I'd love to see where this one goes...if you were to continue.
Nice job, Mikey.
Carol

 Comment Written 17-Jul-2016

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reply by the author on 15-Aug-2016

Thanks for the great input and your thoughts. A lot of fact mixed in here. Sorry to be so late with this response, I do appreciate your time in reviewing. Thanks a million. mikey :))

reply by ciliverde on 15-Aug-2016

I'm never caught up, so don't worry about it!

Comment from Spiritual Echo

Excellent

Sort of fiction--huh?

Well for this week's challenge, I take note that for every weekend prompt you've chosen to give up a discipline. I find this odd, as you stubbornly accepted the technical demands of writing, but accept them you did. I saw no evidence of your creative talents being diminished as a result of taming your rogue personality. In fact, I saw you moving quite close to publishing. Actually, I'm only picking at you for paragraph breaks, but I absolutely love the way you start this story. So, for what it's worth, below is an Ingrid edit. You should continue this. Call it fiction and take licence with how it all turns out. I suspect you'll write it from the heart.

I knew I'd never forget her(, and I never did.) I just never knew how much the reason would change. I laugh when I think of her at twelve-years-old(,) stomping up to my ultra-cool fifteen-year-old self and plopping down next to me on the couch. What she was doing at our "grown up" party(0? I didn't know.

I imagined her to be the sister of someone, tagging along unwelcome. She impressed the hell out of me with her disdain for my carefully developed and wildly successful mysterious and foreboding persona. I didn't think of her romantically(--not her (with) her (flat-chested) and tom boy( ) ways. But(,) something struck a chord(,) and it resonated deeper than I realized at that moment(.) I thought about her all summer(,)even laugh(ing) at myself for such an odd fixation. I had my choice of comely young ladies for the most part, but this too young boyish youngster occupied my brain.

School started in September(,) and as a senior, I ruled the school. 'King me' looked for her(,) and there she was. Looking for me apparently(suggest--was on the top of her priority list--delete- made her list of things to do.) The summer had been kind to her(,) and to me as well(, as) it(turned) out. She blossomed into a voluptuous babe somehow. Cool, I could finally justify my foolish romantic inclinations and let them run wild.

We became inseparable( ) for a year and (then) I went to college upon graduation. Being an idiot(,) I hooked up with an older college girl and turned my back on my truest and (THE) best love of my life.

I called her thirty years later. She'd been looking for me(,) it turns out. She owed me, she said.

 Comment Written 17-Jul-2016

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reply by the author on 15-Aug-2016

I've been working with this for several weeks already. Thanks so much for all the work and help here. It has a huge impact on me to actually SEE it. All the explanation in the world doesn't help me much for some reason. When I took the classes for paramedics I didn't take a note or read the lessons, I watched and listened. Everyone thought I was blowing the class off. It's just the best way for me to learn for some reason. Anyway, sorry to be so late responding. I just got buried with real world stuff. This is an awesome encouraging review. mike

Comment from Barb Hensongispsaca

Excellent

Isnt that the way we do. Greener grass and all that rot.
Very well done and I would love to read your piece since you always make it so interesting with the added fun parts.

 Comment Written 17-Jul-2016

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reply by the author on 15-Aug-2016

Thanks for the great input and your thoughts. A lot of fact mixed in here. Sorry to be so late with this response, I do appreciate your time in reviewing. Thanks a million. mikey :))

Comment from jlsavell

Excellent

Mr. Cahill, why is this under crime? Is it going to be a revenge thing?? Hey. I love your writing. I love the fact your writing gets better and better through effort and possibly blood, sweat and tears. I love that you try all styles of writing and are daring. I could learn much from you... jimi

 Comment Written 17-Jul-2016

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reply by the author on 15-Aug-2016

I don't really know anything. I just write everything and hope for the best. LOL I am learning though, so maybe it's helping. You're so encouraging. Thanks so much. Mr. Cahill HAHAHA!

Comment from Taffspride

Excellent

Well written Mikey. I wonder how many of us find our first loves? Oh actually I still keep in touch with mine. He asked me to marry him when I was about 10, A most unromantic proposal.

Are you going to continue with this?


I shall look for your next piece later this evening.

Thanks for sharing.

iechyd da

Ann

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 Comment Written 17-Jul-2016

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reply by the author on 15-Aug-2016

I might. Thanks for the great input and your thoughts. A lot of fact mixed in here. Sorry to be so late with this response, I do appreciate your time in reviewing. Thanks a million. mikey :))

Comment from Susanne M. Psyris

Excellent

mikey, this is a great beginning chapter. I loved it beginning to end and would want to read more. Sounds like this will be a "chick flick" type reading, which will suit me fine!!!! Great verbiage and imagery throughout. I truly enjoyed it. God bless and hugs, Susanne (When does this Challenge begin?)

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 Comment Written 17-Jul-2016

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reply by the author on 17-Jul-2016

It just begin. Well, twenty minutes ago. Gman just announced the topic, "First Love". Glad you liked this. Get to typing, we're waiting. LOL!! mikey

reply by Susanne M. Psyris on 18-Jul-2016

Thanks for that information, mikey. Appreciate the heads up! God bless and hugs, Susanne

reply by Anonymous Member on 20-Jul-2016

Thanks for that information, mikey. Appreciate the heads up! God bless and hugs, Susanne