Comment from barbara.wilkey

Exceptional

You had to have done a lot of planning to master the plot as you have. I am amazed at all the detail. Great job with this novel.

 Comment Written 27-Dec-2015

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reply by the author on 27-Dec-2015

It's always an honor to receive a six from you, Barbara. Thank you so much.

Comment from Jacqueline M Franklin

Excellent

Hi, Jay

= Wow, we get down to it and the truth comes out.
= I wonder what Glnot will way/do? Hmmmm.
= Good chapter. (*<*)

<> This section is out of kilter at my end...
Dear General Doctrex
You will find fresh towels, soap and robe in the lavatory. Someone will come tomorrow to fill the tub with hot water.

* HAPPY NEW YEAR - 2016! *

Cheers & Blessings...
Keep Smilin'... Jackie/Jax (*>*)

 Comment Written 27-Dec-2015

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reply by the author on 27-Dec-2015

Happy new year to you, too, Jax. Thanks for reading.

Comment from Shirley McLain

Exceptional

Excellent chapter that once again I enjoyed reading. This chapter has an undercurrent of tension. It could be because I know what might happen. I didn't see anything that needed correction. Great job. Shirley

 Comment Written 27-Dec-2015

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reply by the author on 27-Dec-2015

Many thanks, Shirley. The six is glorious! Your words generous and appreciated.

Comment from justafan

Exceptional

Loved it!! But then, I love all your work :)
This is quite a story, Jay.

I wish you much success and happiness in the new year!

Always,
Missy

 Comment Written 27-Dec-2015

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reply by the author on 27-Dec-2015

Many thanks, Missy, for the six stars and your lovely comments. Happy New Year to you as well.

Comment from GWHARGIS

Excellent

Enjoyed the description of the signs of the resistance. It reminded me of the biblical fish sign. The hidden followers of Christ drawing the simple shape of the fish with their toe in the sand. I liked the detail of the tears as he told of the movement. I'm starting to feel kind of sorry for Glnot for what is about to happen to him. Must be a good and deep character to do that. Good job on this. Gretchen

 Comment Written 27-Dec-2015

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reply by the author on 27-Dec-2015

I'm glad you said that about Glnot. I've been trying to slowly bring up reader sympathy for Glnot. Thanks for reading, Gretchen. Have a happy New Year.

Comment from Tessa Kay

Excellent

I hope when you said you can't wait to get this book finished, that it's only a short bit to go. I'm really enjoying this story. The characters are so well formed and there is so much tension and feeling which is drawing me in.
A few considerations:

-I recruited him," he said, flatly. "I had already organized the people's movement in the village." He said it with no braggadocio - 2 x he said. How about, 'There was no braggadocio..' - love the 'braggadocio', by the way. Your invention? Also like the squeegee made into a verb. Very expressive. :)

-I like your involving the three Musketeers (Finally finished the book. It's really good). But somehow I found it at odds with your fantasy world. As if dragging your story into our time/world.

-I noticed..I walked...I approached.. - 3 x paragraphs starting the same. Change it up? Last of the three paragraphs 3 x sentence start with 'I' - vary?

-a grimace gripped the muscles of his jaw. -lovely expression. :)

-I took a chance I needed to remove the outer skin and dug my fingernail into the peel. - slightly confused sentence? Cut the 'I took a chance' or end with full stop?

Am very much looking forward to the next part. :)

 Comment Written 27-Dec-2015

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reply by the author on 27-Dec-2015

Tessa Kay, thanks for your usual close read. Don't forget Doctrex was Viktor in concurrent Earth time. In the edit of the entire Trilogy I'll be bringing that fact out more. You have some good points, especially the sentences beginning with "I". Again, thanks for being here for me.

reply by Tessa Kay on 27-Dec-2015

Ah, ok. That was before my (read The Trining) time. Thanks for the info. :)

Comment from Robert Louis Fox

Excellent

I especially like the description of the orongos, adding smell and taste to the scene. I also like the way you bring this whole scene to life without veering away at all from the story problem. Good Job. You've shown us a lot in these two scenes. A lot of complications are developing. We are ripe for disasters and/or dilemmas.

 Comment Written 27-Dec-2015

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reply by the author on 27-Dec-2015

Thank you, Robert. I'm sure glad you liked the orongos part. I tried to capture taste and smell of it. A lot of complications to follow. Again, thanks.

Comment from c_lucas

Excellent

The conspiracies are mounting up. It leads to a very complex read. It's an interesting read, but it's leaving this reader befuddled. There are too many levels of involvement. Good job.

 Comment Written 27-Dec-2015

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reply by the author on 27-Dec-2015

Thank you, Charlie. Hopefully, things will tie together later.

Comment from write hand blue

Excellent

Hi Jay, this is well thought out plot and so well written. A fist as a badge of rank and membership and those spots on the ankle ~awesome~. I can see nothing that needs fixing... :) Mel.

 Comment Written 27-Dec-2015

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reply by the author on 28-Dec-2015

Glad you enjoyed reading this, Mel. I'm glad the minutia of the signage didn't turn you off.

Comment from giraffmang

Excellent

Hi Jay,

Another very well written chapter to the book.

I liked the meaning and symbolism of the hand gesture becoming a fist. Well thought out, as is the ankle detailing.

Very nice.
G

 Comment Written 27-Dec-2015

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reply by the author on 28-Dec-2015

Thanks, G. I'm thrilled you enjoyed this chapter. Things are about ready to start popping.