THE TRINING Book Three
Viewing comments for Chapter 25 "The Grimy Truth & a Pound of Guilt"JOURNEY INTO REDEMPTION
35 total reviews
Comment from June Estep Fiorelli
Well, you've got me on the edge of my seat now. How will they conjoin? Spiritually? Magically?
Have parts of the Myth been explained in the first chapters? The Myth was very interesting, and the reader needs to know it. I just don't know if some of it is a repeat and could, therefore, be edited. Just asking.
There's good suspense in this chapter, and I'm sensing hints of the deep remorse of Ginot for his evil deed. There's common blood, after all.
There are always some small things.
In para. 1, two minutes. That's a long pause. Then you add a few (3) minutes. I have timed those times...it's loooong. Maybe you want it that way, but this reader knows it seems like forever.
In the para. starting "The Virgin Goddess..." last sentence, I suggest a change in order. "Shunned by the other gods, and fearful Draal would kill the twins when he returned.... etc"
Perhaps you're converting me to liking this genre. Amazing! June
reply by the author on 26-Oct-2015
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Well, you've got me on the edge of my seat now. How will they conjoin? Spiritually? Magically?
Have parts of the Myth been explained in the first chapters? The Myth was very interesting, and the reader needs to know it. I just don't know if some of it is a repeat and could, therefore, be edited. Just asking.
There's good suspense in this chapter, and I'm sensing hints of the deep remorse of Ginot for his evil deed. There's common blood, after all.
There are always some small things.
In para. 1, two minutes. That's a long pause. Then you add a few (3) minutes. I have timed those times...it's loooong. Maybe you want it that way, but this reader knows it seems like forever.
In the para. starting "The Virgin Goddess..." last sentence, I suggest a change in order. "Shunned by the other gods, and fearful Draal would kill the twins when he returned.... etc"
Perhaps you're converting me to liking this genre. Amazing! June
Comment Written 25-Oct-2015
reply by the author on 26-Oct-2015
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Thanks for the six stars and your always sage advise. I'll check out the time thing. You're right. I'll put "Minutes" in find/replace and see how many times I misapply it. I made the change in the order of the sentence as you suggested. Glad to have you aboard, June.
Comment from Tomes Johnston
This is quite an interesting post that the author has created with this piece of work. I am not usually into mythical stories, but this was a good read. Well done indeed.
reply by the author on 26-Oct-2015
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This is quite an interesting post that the author has created with this piece of work. I am not usually into mythical stories, but this was a good read. Well done indeed.
Comment Written 25-Oct-2015
reply by the author on 26-Oct-2015
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Glad you enjoyed this.
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indeed I did.
Comment from His Grayness
Unquestionably, we have here a truly gifted writer that understands GRIP as well as any in the business. The freewheeling use of colorful language and twisty expressions always leave the reader with unique "connection" with the characters and makes the reality of what's happening very real to them. I can't suggest a single thing to improve this great work! HIS GRAYNESS; Vance
reply by the author on 26-Oct-2015
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Unquestionably, we have here a truly gifted writer that understands GRIP as well as any in the business. The freewheeling use of colorful language and twisty expressions always leave the reader with unique "connection" with the characters and makes the reality of what's happening very real to them. I can't suggest a single thing to improve this great work! HIS GRAYNESS; Vance
Comment Written 25-Oct-2015
reply by the author on 26-Oct-2015
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I think I shall take the rest of the day off and bask in the warm glow of your words. LOL, thanks, Vance for your enduring support.
Comment from Gert sherwood
Hello Jay
Here you are writing about Pondria magic of physical nature and Rhuether's magic for mental power.
How their combined powers would rival the gods.
would be a great chapter in your fantasy fiction.
Gert
reply by the author on 26-Oct-2015
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Hello Jay
Here you are writing about Pondria magic of physical nature and Rhuether's magic for mental power.
How their combined powers would rival the gods.
would be a great chapter in your fantasy fiction.
Gert
Comment Written 25-Oct-2015
reply by the author on 26-Oct-2015
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Gert, I appreciate your unwavering support of my writing. Thanks for the six star rating. As usual, I've squandered mine and am without any, and it's only Monday. But in my defense, I do read a lot of posts.
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You are welcome Jay
Well it makes SENCE if you read a lot of post you will use up your sixes
Smiles
Gert
Gert
Comment from Sasha
Every time I read a chapter, I am awestruck by your superb ability to pull the reader into the story. Although, complicated, you do a superb job in telling the story and kept me glued to the screen from beginning to end. I wonder if they can still combine their powers or if Doctrex/PONDRIA has pushed too hard. Definitely worthy of a 6. Great work with this one.
reply by the author on 26-Oct-2015
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Every time I read a chapter, I am awestruck by your superb ability to pull the reader into the story. Although, complicated, you do a superb job in telling the story and kept me glued to the screen from beginning to end. I wonder if they can still combine their powers or if Doctrex/PONDRIA has pushed too hard. Definitely worthy of a 6. Great work with this one.
Comment Written 25-Oct-2015
reply by the author on 26-Oct-2015
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I'm thrilled and honored by your comments and of course the six stars. Thanks, Sasha.
Comment from redrocklover
Most certainly a dilemma is brewing. Will they or won't they join together in loving cooperation to harness their powers? Your story continues to be intriguing. Looking forward to the next installment.
Peace,
Linda
reply by the author on 26-Oct-2015
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Most certainly a dilemma is brewing. Will they or won't they join together in loving cooperation to harness their powers? Your story continues to be intriguing. Looking forward to the next installment.
Peace,
Linda
Comment Written 25-Oct-2015
reply by the author on 26-Oct-2015
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So glad you're sticking around, Linda. Thank you for the kind rating and generous words.
Comment from lancellot
Exccellent, i can see the struggle in trying to speak of myths and reason, with someone emotionally compromised, who also has the power of life and death in their hands. Treading carefully comes through every line. Perfect.
reply by the author on 26-Oct-2015
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Exccellent, i can see the struggle in trying to speak of myths and reason, with someone emotionally compromised, who also has the power of life and death in their hands. Treading carefully comes through every line. Perfect.
Comment Written 25-Oct-2015
reply by the author on 26-Oct-2015
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Lance, you are always so generous with your rating and your comments. I'm so blessed having you on board.
Comment from royowen
Some great background of the conjoined brothers, how did Pondria ever come back to life? But the former years of their existence are quite incredible, I like that they were meant to be united in purpose and abilities and destiny, combined they could ha been like gods, great episode Jay, things are starting to tie up loose ends, well done, Jay, look forward to the ensuing episodes, blessings Roy
reply by the author on 27-Oct-2015
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Some great background of the conjoined brothers, how did Pondria ever come back to life? But the former years of their existence are quite incredible, I like that they were meant to be united in purpose and abilities and destiny, combined they could ha been like gods, great episode Jay, things are starting to tie up loose ends, well done, Jay, look forward to the ensuing episodes, blessings Roy
Comment Written 25-Oct-2015
reply by the author on 27-Oct-2015
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Thanks so much, Roy. Glad you're enjoying this.
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Most welcome
Comment from justafan
I think, Doc, got to him. Maybe! This is really good Jay. You have such a way of moving your stories along, we the readers don't feel rushed but stay "IN" the moment :)
Another fine chapter to this book, Jay.
Always your adoring fan,
Missy
reply by the author on 27-Oct-2015
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I think, Doc, got to him. Maybe! This is really good Jay. You have such a way of moving your stories along, we the readers don't feel rushed but stay "IN" the moment :)
Another fine chapter to this book, Jay.
Always your adoring fan,
Missy
Comment Written 25-Oct-2015
reply by the author on 27-Oct-2015
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Thanks, Missy, for your always encouraging words and ratings. You are appreciated.
Comment from chasennov
Chapter 25 of the book THE TRINING Book Three Don't Cry For Me Northern Province. "The Whole Truth & a Pound of Guilt" This is another excellent chapter you have created here, Jay, and it reminds very much of Norse mythology. Very well done.
reply by the author on 27-Oct-2015
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Chapter 25 of the book THE TRINING Book Three Don't Cry For Me Northern Province. "The Whole Truth & a Pound of Guilt" This is another excellent chapter you have created here, Jay, and it reminds very much of Norse mythology. Very well done.
Comment Written 25-Oct-2015
reply by the author on 27-Oct-2015
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Thanks, Chas. Happy you enjoyed it.
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You are most welcome, Jay.