Act of Endurance
Viewing comments for Chapter 97 "I Do"Dawn of Chaos
32 total reviews
Comment from prettybluebirds
Excellent. This is a very cleverly written poem. You do convey your message to the reader in perfect style. I enjoyed this poem very much. Good luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 01-Dec-2015
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Excellent. This is a very cleverly written poem. You do convey your message to the reader in perfect style. I enjoyed this poem very much. Good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 29-Nov-2015
reply by the author on 01-Dec-2015
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Wish my skills were like this for the contest, revisions from comments made this write: thanking you for generous rate and always honest in their appeal comments.
Comment from Nosha17
I realise this is a collection of thoughts and ideas that transpire in your life, but I think it would be better if your shortened the lines as they tend to ramble on too long and sometimes lose their meaning. I am only trying to be helpful. Maybe, have at most 16 syllables a line. Well chosen words and ideas. Couple of errors: Verse 4, knick-knacks. Verse 11, artefacts. Verse 14, sharpened to cut. I hope you found this helpful, Faye
reply by the author on 18-Nov-2015
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I realise this is a collection of thoughts and ideas that transpire in your life, but I think it would be better if your shortened the lines as they tend to ramble on too long and sometimes lose their meaning. I am only trying to be helpful. Maybe, have at most 16 syllables a line. Well chosen words and ideas. Couple of errors: Verse 4, knick-knacks. Verse 11, artefacts. Verse 14, sharpened to cut. I hope you found this helpful, Faye
Comment Written 17-Nov-2015
reply by the author on 18-Nov-2015
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I appreciate your statements and will look into those suggested corrections by you, hope outside those faults you at least got a part of this write intent. Thanking you for generous rate and welcomed insights about this work.
Comment from Michael Ludwinder
I like how you show your thoughts on life in this poem. The last stanza was especially powerful - I like how you use dialogue here. Great job. A thoughtful poem that was creatively composed.
reply by the author on 18-Nov-2015
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I like how you show your thoughts on life in this poem. The last stanza was especially powerful - I like how you use dialogue here. Great job. A thoughtful poem that was creatively composed.
Comment Written 17-Nov-2015
reply by the author on 18-Nov-2015
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Glad the deposited pits in this write didn't take away all the comforts of a smooth read. Thanking you for generous rate and touching statements about this composition.
Comment from Selina Stambi
Hello TPAc,
Free verse prose-poetry ...
You have some stark, vivid images.
A different sort of style. A good read.
Sonali
My (workshop)
reply by the author on 11-Nov-2015
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Hello TPAc,
Free verse prose-poetry ...
You have some stark, vivid images.
A different sort of style. A good read.
Sonali
My (workshop)
Comment Written 10-Nov-2015
reply by the author on 11-Nov-2015
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Not certain what this is. I for years called them notes. Glad whatever you found interest. Thanking you for generous rate and inspiring thoughts.
Comment from chocoletdrop052
Life is a battle or race to maintain and win. The ignited elements of any battle is strategy, timing and of cause protection. Now as exploration of science which is the theory of mankind of how something is evolved which is not the same as knowing GOD. However, keep seeking this answer.
reply by the author on 10-Nov-2015
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Life is a battle or race to maintain and win. The ignited elements of any battle is strategy, timing and of cause protection. Now as exploration of science which is the theory of mankind of how something is evolved which is not the same as knowing GOD. However, keep seeking this answer.
Comment Written 10-Nov-2015
reply by the author on 10-Nov-2015
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I will try and perhaps receiving the answer be able verbally or within written expressions convey this journey. Thanking you for generous rate and inspiring encouragement.
Comment from robina1978
Great artwork by VMarguarite that complements your poem perfectly. I did not recognize a specific style. But you wrote amongst others about the autumn, with leaves falling of the trees. Best wishes for the contest.
reply by the author on 10-Nov-2015
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Great artwork by VMarguarite that complements your poem perfectly. I did not recognize a specific style. But you wrote amongst others about the autumn, with leaves falling of the trees. Best wishes for the contest.
Comment Written 10-Nov-2015
reply by the author on 10-Nov-2015
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Yeah something like that the contest never saw what you read revision from pits. But I am glad you found some interest in this work effort. Thanking you for generous rate and welcomed insights.
Comment from nancyrabbrose
I like especially the stanza (fourth from last) that starts with "Flea portion..." flea, faith, firm, free. A profound statement!!
Good luck in the contest. I think you have a good chance of winning.
My only criticism, only my opinion, is that the poem could have been shortened and therefore have been more effective.
At any rate, it shows a lot of thought and work and a good description of the creative process.
Well done.
reply by the author on 04-Nov-2015
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I like especially the stanza (fourth from last) that starts with "Flea portion..." flea, faith, firm, free. A profound statement!!
Good luck in the contest. I think you have a good chance of winning.
My only criticism, only my opinion, is that the poem could have been shortened and therefore have been more effective.
At any rate, it shows a lot of thought and work and a good description of the creative process.
Well done.
Comment Written 04-Nov-2015
reply by the author on 04-Nov-2015
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Yeah, short in another held view of my works along with pits, my desire was traveling stories in this project entitled "Endurance" something of a journey within a journey. Thanking you for generous rate and inspiring thoughts about this write.
Comment from Brett Matthew West
Words can indeed act as sharpened weapons in the hands of a writer. Well written poem that uses terms such as "nightmares," and "harsh feelings," to better illustrate this theme. Should also be a good contest entry.
reply by the author on 04-Nov-2015
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Words can indeed act as sharpened weapons in the hands of a writer. Well written poem that uses terms such as "nightmares," and "harsh feelings," to better illustrate this theme. Should also be a good contest entry.
Comment Written 04-Nov-2015
reply by the author on 04-Nov-2015
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After the fact want to be, but through reviews finding guidance to better present my thoughts. Thanking you for generous rate and charming conveyances.
Comment from jaho58
I appreciate the 'dance' of writing as we do employ mental gymnastics in our pursuit of literary expression.
I appreciate the unique imagery :
My gushing forth jet steaming glacier
which flow and rushes within me erupts
My efforts of fortunes: not served delights.
But honestly, there were multiple lines I could not follow/understand which seemed disjointed and/or random, and I read it through twice. Examples:
Flea portion, not active, of a free reasoning.
Tree my holder of arms: shovel and rake.
Maybe it is just me, but I didn't 'get' a lot of this. I do wish you well in all your writing endeavors.
reply by the author on 03-Nov-2015
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I appreciate the 'dance' of writing as we do employ mental gymnastics in our pursuit of literary expression.
I appreciate the unique imagery :
My gushing forth jet steaming glacier
which flow and rushes within me erupts
My efforts of fortunes: not served delights.
But honestly, there were multiple lines I could not follow/understand which seemed disjointed and/or random, and I read it through twice. Examples:
Flea portion, not active, of a free reasoning.
Tree my holder of arms: shovel and rake.
Maybe it is just me, but I didn't 'get' a lot of this. I do wish you well in all your writing endeavors.
Comment Written 31-Oct-2015
reply by the author on 03-Nov-2015
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Thanking you for generous rate and insights about this write. It has its pits
Comment from Mystic Angel 7777
The imagery is lovely and the theme one which many here can certainly relate to. It flows well and is delightful when read aloud. I wish you all the best in the voting and thank you for sharing it.
reply by the author on 03-Nov-2015
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The imagery is lovely and the theme one which many here can certainly relate to. It flows well and is delightful when read aloud. I wish you all the best in the voting and thank you for sharing it.
Comment Written 31-Oct-2015
reply by the author on 03-Nov-2015
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Thanking you for generous rate and welcomed encouragement with this work