THE TRINING Book Three
Viewing comments for Chapter 21 "Ex-General Doctrex (Part 2)"JOURNEY INTO REDEMPTION
26 total reviews
Comment from flylikeaneagle
Jay: I dived into your story about the love of the general to his fallen friends. Garvin is a medic and the symbol is red. Why red??? The Bible has a scarlet thread in each book. Rahab in Joshua 2 throws a red - scarlet rope out of the window. She saved Caleb and Phineas, the two spies, that went into Jericho. They in turn made a covenant to save Rahab and her family.
Red for blood and helping others. Red for blood and energy. The power of the blood and the respect of the position of the uniform. I like your details in the story. Where the eyes look and looking for a piece of paper. The eyes carry the story since I'm spying on your writing.
My father was a Chaplin for the vets. Raphael cared. Your general cared to his last order and the men respected him to follow his orders. Love and respect is shown in your story. Your sentences are long and filled with details. Your conversations flow. I like your brotherhood with the medics.
Well written, Jay. Come over and dine with us anytime. Thank you for your time and advice this weekend. flylikeaneagle
reply by the author on 22-Mar-2015
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Jay: I dived into your story about the love of the general to his fallen friends. Garvin is a medic and the symbol is red. Why red??? The Bible has a scarlet thread in each book. Rahab in Joshua 2 throws a red - scarlet rope out of the window. She saved Caleb and Phineas, the two spies, that went into Jericho. They in turn made a covenant to save Rahab and her family.
Red for blood and helping others. Red for blood and energy. The power of the blood and the respect of the position of the uniform. I like your details in the story. Where the eyes look and looking for a piece of paper. The eyes carry the story since I'm spying on your writing.
My father was a Chaplin for the vets. Raphael cared. Your general cared to his last order and the men respected him to follow his orders. Love and respect is shown in your story. Your sentences are long and filled with details. Your conversations flow. I like your brotherhood with the medics.
Well written, Jay. Come over and dine with us anytime. Thank you for your time and advice this weekend. flylikeaneagle
Comment Written 22-Mar-2015
reply by the author on 22-Mar-2015
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You are so kind, Nancy. I appreciate your references to the color red (though there was no intended significance, except perhaps that it can be seen at a distance). God Bless and thanks again for reading.
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Jay: If you notice many of the chiropractors, the EMT's and medical staff use the color red for medical. They also use the staff with a healing snake that Moses used in the wilderness when the people were disobedient and got bit by the snakes. If they looked up, at the cross, they would be healed. Note in John 3:14-16 scripture of healing and love. I like the loyalty in your story. Perception and seeing with new eyes, stories can have many layers. flylikeaneagle
Comment from c_lucas
It seems as if your epic is coming to an end. This is very well written with a smooth flow of words, making of a very interesting read. There is very good imagery.
reply by the author on 22-Mar-2015
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It seems as if your epic is coming to an end. This is very well written with a smooth flow of words, making of a very interesting read. There is very good imagery.
Comment Written 22-Mar-2015
reply by the author on 22-Mar-2015
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Not coming to an end (Nice try, but you're not getting rid of Doctrex or me that easily). Not by a long shot. Doctrex still has to come face-to-face with Glnot Rhuether. And, don't forget Axtilla is there as well.
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You're welcome, Jay. Charlie
Comment from royowen
Doctrex is playing a game on Zarbs by telling him that Brains Glassem is the next rank under a general, but Garvin is awake up to the good thing he has done for him, and is very grateful and mouths a thank you to Doctrex, as he delivers the bodies of the three brave soldiers, well done, Jay, this has been a while now, but well written, and well done. Blessings, Roy.
reply by the author on 22-Mar-2015
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Doctrex is playing a game on Zarbs by telling him that Brains Glassem is the next rank under a general, but Garvin is awake up to the good thing he has done for him, and is very grateful and mouths a thank you to Doctrex, as he delivers the bodies of the three brave soldiers, well done, Jay, this has been a while now, but well written, and well done. Blessings, Roy.
Comment Written 22-Mar-2015
reply by the author on 22-Mar-2015
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Thank you, Roy in patiently waiting for this chapter. I kept having problems with it, had gone ahead and done the next two chapters but didn't w2ant to post this until it was better. I don't feel I ever got it to "best", but sometimes one's gotta settle. LOL, Thanks, Roy! And have a Blessed Sunday.
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I know the feeling Jay, others may perceive it differently, good writing, Roy.
Comment from Tomes Johnston
This is yet another compelling post that the author has created with this piece of work. This is interesting and it keeps this reader looking for more. Well done.
reply by the author on 22-Mar-2015
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This is yet another compelling post that the author has created with this piece of work. This is interesting and it keeps this reader looking for more. Well done.
Comment Written 22-Mar-2015
reply by the author on 22-Mar-2015
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Thanks, Tomes. I have both your chapters loaded and ready to read sometime today.
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Thank you
Comment from Sis Cat
This is strong writing which riveted me. Your prose is crisp and has punch. I enjoyed the debate about the burial of Jed's body because it provided tension and it provided information about that military culture. No spags. I look forward to your next installment. Thank you for sharing.
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reply by the author on 22-Mar-2015
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This is strong writing which riveted me. Your prose is crisp and has punch. I enjoyed the debate about the burial of Jed's body because it provided tension and it provided information about that military culture. No spags. I look forward to your next installment. Thank you for sharing.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 22-Mar-2015
reply by the author on 22-Mar-2015
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Thank you, Sis Cat. I'm glad you enjoyed this chapter. And it sounds like you are on board for the remainder of the voyage. I hope so. Some magical stuff is just around the corner.
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So, Jay, you have your novel outlined? I get a sense from other writers who serialize their novels make it up as they go along and they do not know where their book is going. Yours appear to have a strong structure and narrative arc propelled by equally strong characters.
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Thank you, Sis Cat, for the further discussion. The last twenty or so chapters of this novel (which completed it) were lost to a computer virus. No they weren't backed up. So, knowing how the novel ended, I am now working toward it, trying to remember the gist of the novel's flow to the end. An arduous process, since what WAS written was, I felt, very good. Now I can't seem to achieve the same feeling tone as then.
That's more than you asked, I know. Generally, I do not outline in advance, but do have a general idea of where it will go.
Thanks for your interest.
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So, Jay, you have your novel outlined? I get a sense from other writers who serialize their novels make it up as they go along and they do not know where their book is going. Yours appear to have a strong structure and narrative arc propelled by equally strong characters.
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I don't understand this "Anonymous Member". I answered the exact question for Sis Cat.
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So, Jay, you have your novel outlined? I get a sense from other writers who serialize their novels make it up as they go along and they do not know where their book is going. Yours appear to have a strong structure and narrative arc propelled by equally strong characters.
Comment from marijmd
Your owrld is an interesting mix between future and past. It feels so futuristic at times and then you have them using quills and ink and it transports this world back a few hundred years. Then with the medical profession - just blooming in this world
"No," Supreme Colonel Zarbs. "No weapons." I turned back to Garvin. "You need to wear your medic uniform with the insignia on it."
I think your " " are in the wrong spots above?
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reply by the author on 22-Mar-2015
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Your owrld is an interesting mix between future and past. It feels so futuristic at times and then you have them using quills and ink and it transports this world back a few hundred years. Then with the medical profession - just blooming in this world
"No," Supreme Colonel Zarbs. "No weapons." I turned back to Garvin. "You need to wear your medic uniform with the insignia on it."
I think your " " are in the wrong spots above?
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 22-Mar-2015
reply by the author on 22-Mar-2015
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Good catch, Maria. One of those that got past me probably a hundred times. And even this time, went back and looked at it and was about to let you know you were mistaken, when I saw it. It's been corrected. Thank you for the heads up and for your kindness in reading this and being so encouraging.
