Shepherd
Viewing comments for Chapter 5 "Want"poems inspired by Psalm 23
33 total reviews
Comment from Benny Beeharry
The one who wants always without giving is indeed no good.
But the one who has not or who has very little and gives all he has is indeed the one to be honoured. For it is very difficult to meet such a one.
His faith by far outreach his own need. He is the Best.
This writing tells of a great deal of things. Needs to be dugged.
Benny Beeharry
reply by the author on 10-Jun-2014
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The one who wants always without giving is indeed no good.
But the one who has not or who has very little and gives all he has is indeed the one to be honoured. For it is very difficult to meet such a one.
His faith by far outreach his own need. He is the Best.
This writing tells of a great deal of things. Needs to be dugged.
Benny Beeharry
Comment Written 09-Jun-2014
reply by the author on 10-Jun-2014
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Thank you for the encouraging review and the wise insight, Benny Beeharry. I appreciate your kind comments. Debi
Comment from tfawcus
What a very powerful use of the triolet. This biblical story has always struck a chord. Those who are so desperately poor in material terms are often amongst the richest of all humanity when it come to spiritual wealth, and generosity with what little they have. You have created very powerful repeating lines in this fine poem.
reply by the author on 11-Jun-2014
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What a very powerful use of the triolet. This biblical story has always struck a chord. Those who are so desperately poor in material terms are often amongst the richest of all humanity when it come to spiritual wealth, and generosity with what little they have. You have created very powerful repeating lines in this fine poem.
Comment Written 09-Jun-2014
reply by the author on 11-Jun-2014
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Thank you for the complimentary review about the writing. I appreciate the insights on the bible story and those who are spiritually wealthy as well. Thank you so much. Debi
Comment from krys123
W.j.debi, this is a beautifully written tiolet piece of poetry and truly sums up the parable of the widow might in all that she had. Thank you so much for writing your author's notes for they were also very helpful in determining Your writings description and understanding. Thank you so much for sharing am posting this work for everyone and may the Lord be with you always Debi.
Alex
reply by the author on 11-Jun-2014
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W.j.debi, this is a beautifully written tiolet piece of poetry and truly sums up the parable of the widow might in all that she had. Thank you so much for writing your author's notes for they were also very helpful in determining Your writings description and understanding. Thank you so much for sharing am posting this work for everyone and may the Lord be with you always Debi.
Alex
Comment Written 09-Jun-2014
reply by the author on 11-Jun-2014
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Thank you for a helpful review, Alex. i appreciate you mentioning the things that were helpful such as the author notes. I appreciate the kind comments about the writing. I am happy you enjoyed reading it. Debi
Comment from Delahay
I really liked the way your wrote about the poor widow who gave so much more than others, even though it was, in actuality very little, because it was all she had.
reply by the author on 11-Jun-2014
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I really liked the way your wrote about the poor widow who gave so much more than others, even though it was, in actuality very little, because it was all she had.
Comment Written 09-Jun-2014
reply by the author on 11-Jun-2014
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Thank you for the complimentary review, WardHays. I am happy you enjoyed reading this verse. Thank you for sharing your insights on the theme of giving. I appreciate it. Debi
Comment from country ranch writer
there is always temptation out in the world with should I do this or should I do that and faith in yourself and God always wins most of the times.
reply by the author on 08-Jun-2014
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there is always temptation out in the world with should I do this or should I do that and faith in yourself and God always wins most of the times.
Comment Written 08-Jun-2014
reply by the author on 08-Jun-2014
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Thank you for your insights on faith. I appreciate the review and your comments.
Debi
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welcome
Comment from Spitfire
Even without your notes, I figured it out. :-)
Her fate? We are left to ponder. -- love the open-ended interpretation left to the reader. Good use of assonance with want and stronger, cast and glad. Alliteration with fate and faith, want and widow.
reply by the author on 08-Jun-2014
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Even without your notes, I figured it out. :-)
Her fate? We are left to ponder. -- love the open-ended interpretation left to the reader. Good use of assonance with want and stronger, cast and glad. Alliteration with fate and faith, want and widow.
Comment Written 08-Jun-2014
reply by the author on 08-Jun-2014
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Thank you for the detailed review about the writing. I appreciate it. I had even thought about the assonance, but now that you point it out?
I am glad you liked the open-ended thought I threw in there.
I appreciate the encouragement.
Debi
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You're most welcome.
Comment from chasennov
Want.' 'Even all her living.' Yes! Those who do not have anything, give their everything. It even works through into government agencies where it is always the poor paying all the taxes. Well done
reply by the author on 08-Jun-2014
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Want.' 'Even all her living.' Yes! Those who do not have anything, give their everything. It even works through into government agencies where it is always the poor paying all the taxes. Well done
Comment Written 08-Jun-2014
reply by the author on 08-Jun-2014
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Thank you so much for the kind review and your interesting insights. I appreciate it.
Debi
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You are more than welcome, Debi.
Comment from STEPHEN A CARTER
Want was strong, but faith was stronger. Good solid tempo
POOR widow cast in all she had. omit 'garbage' words
We only know JESUS WAS glad. Story is about Jesus not God
Regards:
reply by the author on 08-Jun-2014
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Want was strong, but faith was stronger. Good solid tempo
POOR widow cast in all she had. omit 'garbage' words
We only know JESUS WAS glad. Story is about Jesus not God
Regards:
Comment Written 08-Jun-2014
reply by the author on 08-Jun-2014
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Thank you for the suggestions and comments. I appreciate you trying to make my writing stronger. Debi
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Dear Debi: Sorry, but my 'teacher' background always seems to come out. Just posted 'Prisoner of the Wind'. Thanks.
With Respect: Steve
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That's okay. Suggestions are always welcome. I will probably change to "poor", but Jesus to me is the same as god. Maybe I'll try Lord. I'll give it a think
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Dear Debi: If you mentioned Jesus in your note, then use it because readers expect that. Besides it fits.
Steve
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The line needs to be eight syllables. I'll have to work on it. Jesus is two syllables and would bring the line to nine syllables unless I take out another syllable somewhere, it would not fit the Triolet form. Re write :)
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Dear Debi:
"We only know JESUS WAS glad" 8 not 9
Steve
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Thank you
Comment from janalma
Good rhyming in this little poem. I know all of it isn't a perfect rhyme, but it is so appropriate. (Maybe it doesn't have to be--I'm not familiar with this style). And yes, we do wonder about the people mentioned here and there in the bible. Sometimes we are only given a glimpse of them and then they're gone, never to be mentioned again. Good poem.
reply by the author on 08-Jun-2014
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Good rhyming in this little poem. I know all of it isn't a perfect rhyme, but it is so appropriate. (Maybe it doesn't have to be--I'm not familiar with this style). And yes, we do wonder about the people mentioned here and there in the bible. Sometimes we are only given a glimpse of them and then they're gone, never to be mentioned again. Good poem.
Comment Written 08-Jun-2014
reply by the author on 08-Jun-2014
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Thank you, Janalma. I appreciate the kind comments. I appreciate your comments about the content as well. Maybe we will know all the stories some day.
This form has an unusual rhyming scheme abaaabab. I did use some proximate rhymes that made more sense than forcing rhymes. Give the Triolet a shot. It was a fun challenge to try.
Comment from kiwisteveh
This is an interesting poetic retelling of the bilbe story - in this case the triolet with its repeated refrain lines works well to emphasise the theme of the story.
Steve
reply by the author on 08-Jun-2014
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This is an interesting poetic retelling of the bilbe story - in this case the triolet with its repeated refrain lines works well to emphasise the theme of the story.
Steve
Comment Written 08-Jun-2014
reply by the author on 08-Jun-2014
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Thank you for the encouraging review, Steve. I am happy you liked it.
Debi