All Those Puzzling Pieces
Viewing comments for Chapter 11 "Dancing With Your Shadow"What makes a life? How do the pieces fit?
84 total reviews
Comment from fictionwriter
Seems like you are describing the perfect childhood. What my children wouldn't have given to grow up around the ocean. Very nicely done.
reply by the author on 04-Dec-2012
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Seems like you are describing the perfect childhood. What my children wouldn't have given to grow up around the ocean. Very nicely done.
Comment Written 04-Dec-2012
reply by the author on 04-Dec-2012
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The ocean is very big in my life, fw - I'm so lucky! :) Sharyn
Comment from wiljacro
HI! It is a long, long time since I came across such a beautiful description of a loving Mum's time spent on a beach with her beautiful little daughter, who was enthralled by her own shadow and the movement of leaves around her, caused by the gentle breeze! Thanks for sharing such a wonderful memory. wiljacro.
reply by the author on 04-Dec-2012
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HI! It is a long, long time since I came across such a beautiful description of a loving Mum's time spent on a beach with her beautiful little daughter, who was enthralled by her own shadow and the movement of leaves around her, caused by the gentle breeze! Thanks for sharing such a wonderful memory. wiljacro.
Comment Written 04-Dec-2012
reply by the author on 04-Dec-2012
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Thank you so much for enjoying the beach with us, wiljacro! And a special, and much appreciated, thank you for your lovely six!
Best wishes
Sharyn
Comment from Alan K Pease
Lovely poem to read in choice of words, message and style - a good choice for free verst. Love:
and as we splashed and giggled
in jeweled tide pools
we skimmed on-a-whim
flat sand dollars
disguised as coined flowers
and lay cradled warm
by sleepy soft sand,
sighing in the sun
of full content
but
you wriggled free
reply by the author on 04-Dec-2012
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Lovely poem to read in choice of words, message and style - a good choice for free verst. Love:
and as we splashed and giggled
in jeweled tide pools
we skimmed on-a-whim
flat sand dollars
disguised as coined flowers
and lay cradled warm
by sleepy soft sand,
sighing in the sun
of full content
but
you wriggled free
Comment Written 04-Dec-2012
reply by the author on 04-Dec-2012
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Thank you so much for coming to the beach with us Alan, and a special thank you for your lovely 'six'! :) Sharyn
Comment from GarthL
That's really beautiful Sharyn, I can see why it won, congrats. The whole presentation is electric and those curls wow took me back to my childhood when I had a similar shock of curly blonde hair.
Various sections I was starting to hear the music in there. With some tweeks here and there, and a beat structure, you could have a song on your hands I'd think. Calypso feel, sun and sand, happy lyrics!??
Well done, I enjoyed the read. Is that an illustration, or a picture of your son? Cute as a button. I can see the similarities can't I? Livelove, Garth
reply by the author on 04-Dec-2012
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That's really beautiful Sharyn, I can see why it won, congrats. The whole presentation is electric and those curls wow took me back to my childhood when I had a similar shock of curly blonde hair.
Various sections I was starting to hear the music in there. With some tweeks here and there, and a beat structure, you could have a song on your hands I'd think. Calypso feel, sun and sand, happy lyrics!??
Well done, I enjoyed the read. Is that an illustration, or a picture of your son? Cute as a button. I can see the similarities can't I? Livelove, Garth
Comment Written 04-Dec-2012
reply by the author on 04-Dec-2012
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thx so much, Garth - no, this one's an illustration, but chosen for the similarities! :) Sharyn
Comment from Enrique28
Well, what can I say? This is indeed a lovely feat of poetry. A reminiscence filled with wonderful images of a child's first hand experience for which there is no substitute. Beautiful sounds and clever use of language. Oh, and an excellent presentation. Just great!
reply by the author on 04-Dec-2012
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Well, what can I say? This is indeed a lovely feat of poetry. A reminiscence filled with wonderful images of a child's first hand experience for which there is no substitute. Beautiful sounds and clever use of language. Oh, and an excellent presentation. Just great!
Comment Written 04-Dec-2012
reply by the author on 04-Dec-2012
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Bless you, Enrique, for coming and enjoying the beach with us! And a specially big "thank you" for your wonderful six!
:) Sharyn
Comment from juliedickson55
Lovely poem, great alliteration in:
sleepy soft sand,sighing
happy humming
Love this part:
"stirred your curls
to wild honey'd whorls"
And the image so shows your poem's meaning, gives it life.
reply by the author on 04-Dec-2012
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Lovely poem, great alliteration in:
sleepy soft sand,sighing
happy humming
Love this part:
"stirred your curls
to wild honey'd whorls"
And the image so shows your poem's meaning, gives it life.
Comment Written 04-Dec-2012
reply by the author on 04-Dec-2012
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thx so much, Julie! :) Sharyn
Comment from Angels27
Bravo! A worthy contest winner. Congrats. It is indeed such a beautiful uplifting emotion and once we learn to keep in touch with our inner child, we will find life so much more worth living. I completely enjoyed the read. Great picture complimenting the writeup.
reply by the author on 04-Dec-2012
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Bravo! A worthy contest winner. Congrats. It is indeed such a beautiful uplifting emotion and once we learn to keep in touch with our inner child, we will find life so much more worth living. I completely enjoyed the read. Great picture complimenting the writeup.
Comment Written 04-Dec-2012
reply by the author on 04-Dec-2012
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thx so much, Angels! :) Sharyn
Comment from Phyllis Stewart
Sharyn, truly a happy poem about happy times. Love the alliteration throughout. Love the concept of dancing with your shadow surrounded by the wind. I can just picture the little girl. Happy clappy applause for this! Not at all surprised that it won!
It won't let me give you six stars yet. :(
reply by the author on 04-Dec-2012
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Sharyn, truly a happy poem about happy times. Love the alliteration throughout. Love the concept of dancing with your shadow surrounded by the wind. I can just picture the little girl. Happy clappy applause for this! Not at all surprised that it won!
It won't let me give you six stars yet. :(
Comment Written 04-Dec-2012
reply by the author on 04-Dec-2012
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So glad you enjoyed this one Phyllis - memories of my little boy from 35 years ago surfacing ... :) Sharyn
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Ahh... ao it'a curly-headed little boy! My daughter, 28, is visiting from Nevada this week, going back this evening. It's been so nice having her here. We've been reminiscing a lot about when she was little. A time for smiles. It's been a wonderful week, but everything comes to an end, and all we have are our memories of it.
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yep - nice to access them though - some more vivid than others!
Comment from Glasstruth
Such a beautiful way to express happiness. Your metaphors, and the flow of this is just amazing. I can see why it's a winner. My favorite section of all:
"and as we splashed and giggled
in jeweled tide pools
we skimmed on-a-whim
flat sand dollars
disguised as coined flowers
and lay cradled warm
by sleepy soft sand,
sighing in the sun
of full content
but
you wriggled free
and there you were"
Wish I had a sixer. This is awesome!!! Les
reply by the author on 04-Dec-2012
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Such a beautiful way to express happiness. Your metaphors, and the flow of this is just amazing. I can see why it's a winner. My favorite section of all:
"and as we splashed and giggled
in jeweled tide pools
we skimmed on-a-whim
flat sand dollars
disguised as coined flowers
and lay cradled warm
by sleepy soft sand,
sighing in the sun
of full content
but
you wriggled free
and there you were"
Wish I had a sixer. This is awesome!!! Les
Comment Written 04-Dec-2012
reply by the author on 04-Dec-2012
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Thank you so much, Les - this was a sweet write for me - glad you were there at the beach with us, dear! :) Sharyn
Comment from Spitfire
Wow! You're winning contests a lot these days. This is a happy poem that captures the beauty and innocence of childhood. Excellent use of alllteration and internal rhyme.
Favorite images:
stirred your curls
to wild honey'd whorls
like God's golden shells? (nice simile)
shadow
surrounded
by the wind
singing
in
the
spiral
of
the
leaves
reply by the author on 04-Dec-2012
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Wow! You're winning contests a lot these days. This is a happy poem that captures the beauty and innocence of childhood. Excellent use of alllteration and internal rhyme.
Favorite images:
stirred your curls
to wild honey'd whorls
like God's golden shells? (nice simile)
shadow
surrounded
by the wind
singing
in
the
spiral
of
the
leaves
Comment Written 04-Dec-2012
reply by the author on 04-Dec-2012
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thx so much, spits - I only answer the prompts that call to me, but yes, have been having fun lately! :) Sharyn