Little Billy
Viewing comments for Chapter 14 "Letting Go."memiors from my life experiences.
66 total reviews
Comment from CKLA
You told your story really well. I could see how this would be very confusing to a young child. Good luck in the contest.
Collette
reply by the author on 05-Oct-2010
  |
You told your story really well. I could see how this would be very confusing to a young child. Good luck in the contest.
Collette
Comment Written 05-Oct-2010
reply by the author on 05-Oct-2010
-
thank you
Comment from cheyennewy
Hi Author,
This is an intriguing story that had me engaged from the first few lines. It is difficult to imagine what a mother leaving a child would cause, unless you lived it. Sometimes it is healing to let go of something that can't be changed. You wrote this well, it has good characters and the conversations are believable. Well done and good luck in the contest....chey
reply by the author on 05-Oct-2010
|
Hi Author,
This is an intriguing story that had me engaged from the first few lines. It is difficult to imagine what a mother leaving a child would cause, unless you lived it. Sometimes it is healing to let go of something that can't be changed. You wrote this well, it has good characters and the conversations are believable. Well done and good luck in the contest....chey
Comment Written 05-Oct-2010
reply by the author on 05-Oct-2010
-
thank you chey
Comment from InHisownwrite
I love it!
So many stories just like this go untold all over the world.. I relate to this in many ways, but that's a story in itself..... Very emotional, very down to earth.....
Right from the heart..... Good for you, for telling it!
Bryan
reply by the author on 05-Oct-2010
|
I love it!
So many stories just like this go untold all over the world.. I relate to this in many ways, but that's a story in itself..... Very emotional, very down to earth.....
Right from the heart..... Good for you, for telling it!
Bryan
Comment Written 05-Oct-2010
reply by the author on 05-Oct-2010
-
thanks for your coments I appriciate it.
-
thanks for your coments I appriciate it.
Comment from eliz100
Your story was a good read from beginning to end. I am just a little confused. Was the foster home you were dropped off at, the home you grew up in? There is one small SPAG. I miss(ed) my mother so much. I think that needs to be past tense.
reply by the author on 05-Oct-2010
|
Your story was a good read from beginning to end. I am just a little confused. Was the foster home you were dropped off at, the home you grew up in? There is one small SPAG. I miss(ed) my mother so much. I think that needs to be past tense.
Comment Written 05-Oct-2010
reply by the author on 05-Oct-2010
-
thank you
-
thank you
-
thank you
-
thank you
Comment from FredCollingwood
Wow! A powerful story. I no longer do line by line edits, but I did notice a number of gramatical and punctuation errors.
Fred
reply by the author on 05-Oct-2010
|
Wow! A powerful story. I no longer do line by line edits, but I did notice a number of gramatical and punctuation errors.
Fred
Comment Written 05-Oct-2010
reply by the author on 05-Oct-2010
-
thank you I just made a bunch of corrections thanks.
-
thank you I just made a bunch of corrections thanks.
Comment from afternoonlight
The written work of puting these words to page could use a little more polish. However, the story iso compelling and told in your own voice that I could not help but be glued to it. It is told as if we met at a coffee shop and you are casually sharing a part of you life in conversation which has been bothering you, or you have been thinking about. Phlosophically, you have nothing to apologize for, nothing to regret or be sorry about. You mother abandoned you...Im surmizing your Aunt and Uncle took you from the foster care and raised you. This story could be chapters and a book I am sure.
reply by the author on 05-Oct-2010
|
The written work of puting these words to page could use a little more polish. However, the story iso compelling and told in your own voice that I could not help but be glued to it. It is told as if we met at a coffee shop and you are casually sharing a part of you life in conversation which has been bothering you, or you have been thinking about. Phlosophically, you have nothing to apologize for, nothing to regret or be sorry about. You mother abandoned you...Im surmizing your Aunt and Uncle took you from the foster care and raised you. This story could be chapters and a book I am sure.
Comment Written 05-Oct-2010
reply by the author on 05-Oct-2010
-
thanks for the review
-
thanks for the review
Comment from Ritsal
You have a very interesting story here and it kept my attention throughout. I do have some minor suggested edits for you to consider:
I was left in a foster home by my mother when I was three." I recountend [recounted]
You see five years earlier[,] the day before my mother and her new boyfriend
Yes[,] it was just me and mom for the first three years of my life.
Well[,] here I was five years later
u[U]ncle Rob
three[-]year[-]old
Well[,] I'm sure your mother had a good reason for leaving you
You also have a couple of large paragraphs which I would break into smaller paragraphs for easier reading.
Good luck in the contest.
Best wishes,
Rita
eight[-]year[-]old
Well[,] I thought about just
"O.K.[Okay] Mom[,]." I said
this is the first I've spoke[spoken] of it.
reply by the author on 05-Oct-2010
 |
You have a very interesting story here and it kept my attention throughout. I do have some minor suggested edits for you to consider:
I was left in a foster home by my mother when I was three." I recountend [recounted]
You see five years earlier[,] the day before my mother and her new boyfriend
Yes[,] it was just me and mom for the first three years of my life.
Well[,] here I was five years later
u[U]ncle Rob
three[-]year[-]old
Well[,] I'm sure your mother had a good reason for leaving you
You also have a couple of large paragraphs which I would break into smaller paragraphs for easier reading.
Good luck in the contest.
Best wishes,
Rita
eight[-]year[-]old
Well[,] I thought about just
"O.K.[Okay] Mom[,]." I said
this is the first I've spoke[spoken] of it.
Comment Written 05-Oct-2010
reply by the author on 05-Oct-2010
-
corrections made thank you.
-
corrections made thank you.
Comment from ladybird
A sad story of chances missed.
I hope by writing this down, and forcing you to speak of long past events has been of help in easing your mind.
I can only imagine the pain you felt when old enough to know the full facts of your childhood.
reply by the author on 05-Oct-2010
|
A sad story of chances missed.
I hope by writing this down, and forcing you to speak of long past events has been of help in easing your mind.
I can only imagine the pain you felt when old enough to know the full facts of your childhood.
Comment Written 05-Oct-2010
reply by the author on 05-Oct-2010
-
thank you
-
You're welcome.
-
thank you
Comment from Ms. Gray
Wow! Truth is stranger than fiction. This is a very compelling story and I enjoyed every part. The dialog was realistic and moved the story along. Very well done.
reply by the author on 05-Oct-2010
 |
Wow! Truth is stranger than fiction. This is a very compelling story and I enjoyed every part. The dialog was realistic and moved the story along. Very well done.
Comment Written 05-Oct-2010
reply by the author on 05-Oct-2010
-
thanks for the review
Comment from patmedium
Beautifully spoken. The images you paint on my mind's eye are so very strong and clear. The emotion that you have planted between the lines transfers clearly to my receptive heart.
Thank you for writing this and then also for posting it.
The act of doing so will have helped you to deal with this truth.
Pat.
reply by the author on 05-Oct-2010
|
Beautifully spoken. The images you paint on my mind's eye are so very strong and clear. The emotion that you have planted between the lines transfers clearly to my receptive heart.
Thank you for writing this and then also for posting it.
The act of doing so will have helped you to deal with this truth.
Pat.
Comment Written 05-Oct-2010
reply by the author on 05-Oct-2010
-
thank you for the review